The Words I Say

I will never do that when I have children.

She hangs her head in the shame of her words. She feels conviction and sees how her words come across.

I can't believe she did that.

She sits down to write. To pray. To ask forgiveness. To say to other moms, women, friends, strangers, that she is sorry for her critical spirit. That it has been a point of failure and strife.

That isn't appropriate for her age.

She learns that even if she thinks it, it isn't right. It isn't who she wants to be. She knows she needs to change.

Can you believe they did that? *spreads gossip like wildfire continuously

What is she wearing?

Casts ugly stares

Gives backhand response

Complains about helping someone when they don't respond with a thank you

It just keeps coming out. But how does she change? How does she say she is sorry? How does she learn to change her thoughts?

God help me.

A simple prayer. A small conversation begins.

Dear God,

Help me to stop being negative. Let me love others. Let me be compassionate. Let me be like you.

Amen.

Begins work on herself.

Image via

Implementing Minimalism

Remember that one time I wrote this blog post about being a minimalist and finding my groove in minimalism. Well, completely ignore it. I was WRONG! We have so much c.r.a.p. I mean that with love to anyone who has contributed to our mess and even the things that I have bought for us.

The day after Christmas we loaded up our home and moved to our new house. We actually slowly started the process of moving things here and there. I remember leading into this move thinking We have purged. We are so good. We are living minimally. And then I moved our house. It was all a lie. Forgive me friends.

While I am finding grace in the process of moving, I am also being challenged by living with less and I am like bring it stuff.

Here is one lesson that God has taught in my 29 years...what you pray for you will be challenged in. I have prayed for downsizing and boy am I being pushed to learn about what I thought was a simple lifestyle. Even styling my bookshelves last night I kept thinking good grief...get rid of all this stuff. While I love things and how happy they make me, I am learning that things weigh me down. They weigh my family down. They weigh my aspirations down. Thus trying to learn how to live a simpler lifestyle.

Here is my biggest take away with minimalism: It will forever be a learning process for me. And that is totally okay.

It is taking me multiple tries. I read articles consistently on living with less. On living with more adventure versus things. And I am trying. I am learning. I am expanding.

Our garage right now is massively full of stuff that we are selling. And that feels great! BUT we still have a long way to go and much, much more to learn. For example, we knew we were moving the day after Christmas. That morning as we were gathering things together I took two boxes and put all our new gifts, clothes, toys in the boxes. Two full boxes of new things just from Christmas. And I get it. We live in a consumer driven world! I was raised on finding a baragin and multiple baragins. Still to this day I grab 20 things to try on in the dressing room and walk away with only a few. So did I really need all 20 of those things? Did I really need even one of those things? These are things I am talking through each day. And this post isn't a look at me! I am trying to be a minimalist! It is a post of honesty and what I am working on personally. If minimalism isn't for you, I promise to not turn my nose up at you. My journey to and through this is due to what I am discovering makes me happy.

Just know if I am writing about it (being any topic) it is so real in my life. It is pushing me. It is hard for me. It is real friends. No judgement here. None at all.

So cozy up to your screen, grab the coffee and let's dig in. This is a long post, if you couldn't tell.

Minimalism. It may be a term you have heard or may not but for those note sure what minimalism is it just think a simpler life. Less stuff. Less distraction. More doing. More being. I am barely scratching the surface with my part to minimalism but alas here is what works for me already.

THINGS I AM DOING TO IMPLEMENT MINIMALISM:

De-Clutter // Every few months typically with the changing of seasons I go through all our drawers, closets and storage room. I make a giant pile of things to toss, things to sell and things to donate. This little to do not only helps me welcome in a new season but it also helps me get rid of things we don't use. It makes me feel fulfilled. There is something to be said for the power of purging.

Capsule Wardrobe // This is new to me and while I do not fully commit to this I have slimmed down my wardrobe per season to just a handful of tops, pants and shoes. Can I just say the biggest benefit for me is getting ready in the morning for work? I almost always know what I want to wear and that makes me happy and efficient. You may be thinking that you could never do this and I get it. I felt the same way but am happy to say I am a sucker for a small and simple wardrobe. It has also helped me discover my personal style.

Unsubscribe // This is so liberating. Seriously. Give it a try. When you don't have emails coming into your inbox for the latest sale you don't feel the influence to buy. Unsubscribing also goes for more than your inbox. A few months ago I realized how much I had the urge to buy things. Scrolling through Instagram was giving me the itch to buy so I quit following accounts for baby onesies, t-shirts and home decor. Much to my surprise the urge to shop went away because I wasn't looking at these things all the time. I was only shopping for things we needed versus something that just looked cute or caught my eye. Remove it. Delete it. Take your name off the list. I think this point may be the best take away from this post.

Selling our oversized for us home // Say what? Are you crazy? The house that you have worked on for years and poured so much into? You are nuts lady. I get it. But yes, we sold it and so fast and easy that it just assured us we were making the right move. I LOVE our old house. I mean really love it and we say all the time that when we have teenage kids we are going to want it back but for right now it doesn't work for us. We remodeled so much of that home and still had a long, long way to go. With two young babies spending our money and time on remodel projects just didn't suit us. We wanted to be more invested in our kids than house projects of a large nature. We had two couples look at it via word of mouth and the second couple made an offer the next day. The house is also 3,600 square feet and with two babies and working I can't keep up with just the dog hair let alone the space, clean up, straightening, toilet scrubbing. We said yes to selling and we said yes to a smaller house. I promise to write about the new house soon (updated mudroom here) but we have a backyard people! Our old home (due to the addition) didn't offer a backyard for our puppies and babes. Now Skip plays outside 85% of the day. It is such a blessing to sell our old home but not one that was easy. I love that house.

My kids toys // My goodness. Do kids really need that many toys? Seriously. I counted Skip's ball basket last night. It included 20 balls and 5 bats of various sizes. That previous sentence does not include a single ounce of exaggeration. Actually on my to-do list is to go through his toys. Phase 1 is removing a large, large portion of toys. Phase 2 includes hiding them in my garage to see if Skip notices. Phase 3 includes donating all the toys. Phase 4 is going through all his books. See how it keeps evolving. One day I hope to teach Skip how to go through his things and give to those who need his clothes, toys and books. I also hope to instill healthy habits and lead by example when it comes to the fulfillment of stuff. Also how did he get this many toys? He must be working a secret operation with Santa. I kid but you get the picture.

The 3-6 month rule // This is a rule that I am sure exists for many but it is taking over all areas of my life. It is simple. If I haven't used, worn or needed it in a 3-6 time period then it goes. Clothes that haven't been worn in 3-6 months, peace out. Kitchen gadgets that haven't seen the light of day, adios. Makeup that isn't being worn, tossed. My real goal with this rule is to make it an even smaller time period. Things need to have purpose or an use in our home versus just there for comfort or because. Also this rule helps me truly evaluate if I need something or not before I ever purchase it.

Can I reiterate that I am no expert on minimalism? I don't have it together people. NOT EVEN CLOSE. To even say I am a minimalist is a joke. You should be laughing. But I am learning something new each day and for that I am grateful. If this lifestyle is for you, let's chat. If not, totally cool too. I like friends of all varieties and interest.

Post to come: some of my favorite articles, bloggers and real life people who rock minimalism.

Hey, thanks for reading. I think you are pretty rad. :)

Images here, here and here

Ramblings Upon Ramblings

 Skip not knowing mommy was taking his picture.

Sometimes I feel like my brain needs to just dump and here we are with a new blog post. My content is top notch friends. Top notch. (Also I just had to look up how to spell notch. World's worst/non confident speller ever.)

A post in the form of a list, HOORAY! You guys know I live for those lists.

1. Rusty did it. He became the old person who makes those recipes you see on Facebook BUT in his defense he made something new. The thing about my husband is he could eat the same thing every day and rejoice i.e. grilled chicken, roasted sweet potato and green beans. While I love those things I am all about new recipes or throw some new seasonings in or add more butter or where's the chocolate? I am totally picking at him about actually making something from Facebook but the joke is on me because IT WAS DELICIOUS! And we have leftovers. This gal is all about enough leftovers for lunch the next day.

2. All my pregnancy clothes are reaching that dangerous point where my belly is almost showing and really I shouldn't be wearing them out in public but here I am. Big belly and all. It is a lovely sight.

3. Speaking of that big belly, Clara is constantly moving and not just like a kick or punch. Her whole body moves and it is the weirdest feeling/sensation. She is so busy all the time which is just like Skip was in utero. <- That words makes me laugh when I say it. Yep, 13 years old.

About two weeks ago I was photographing an event for the college here in town. They needed a pregnant belly to show/discuss the career of radiology. I gladly hopped on the table. Our insurance pays for one mid-way through pregnancy ultrasound so a free one is like gold. Also I knew they told me Clara was a girl but what if Clara was really a Clarence? I always do weird mind games like that with myself.

The tech did a 4d ultrasound to show the on-lookers. The Farrins don't pay for those either (with either pregnancy). We have seen more that we are like that is a face??? and you paid $300 for that than ones where you are like AH! I know what your kid looks like before they get here. Clara looked right at us and I saw her face so clearly. She had pouty lips and fat cheeks and was an angel baby. I need a squish.

Skip knowing mommy was taking a picture and doing this face. Goof. I don't know why but this picture makes me laugh every time.

4. We are toying with the idea of listing our home. Is that crazy considering all we have done? I know. I clean the entire house and shout the whole time LIST THIS THING. IT IS TOOOOO BIG. But the reality of someone actually living it versus us makes me sad. You know I am all about smaller living, less stuff type but I do love our home. We have made it a home and I do love all the projects. Anyone interested?

5. I haven't talked about it much but I will be home 100% of the time with Clara and Skip as in leaving my part time gig. We tried this with Skip but with the ppd part time work was a healthy solution plus it all fell into place. I am excited to be with my babies. Honestly, it does scare me a bit but I am ready for a new normal.

6. The Bachelorette starts tonight and it is 100% my guilty pleasure. I always declare I WILL NEVER WATCH THIS SHOW AGAIN after the final episode but this time I didn't because I adore JoJo! She is down to earth (well my perception from the realness of reality tv ;)). Rusty always rolls his eyes at this franchise because some people (clears throat...Rusty) thinks real love and engagement can't happen in six weeks of meeting someone that you spend all your time with on extravagant dates and helicopter rides and on the beach. He is ridiculous. That totally mirrors our love story.

7. Send me some good and healthy freezer meals to prep before baby. I bought extra stuff for homemade granola bars. With Skip my milk supply was so low constantly that granola every morning or oats of some kind were a necessity. In case you want to try your hand at these oat cookies or these granola bars, go for it. I have been making those granola bars for years and typically gift them to new mommies. Thank you Summer for sending that recipe 5 years ago!

8. I mentioned to my sweet friend Rach that I wanted to schedule something after baby and saw that the Lumineers were traveling to Rogers. I text that it would be awesome to go and she texts back GOT US TICKETS! Am I was like I love you forever! She is seriously so fun and spontaneous with me (well when I try to be...who are we kidding?) I cannot wait to go and dance and drink a beer and not be pregnant.

9. I am working on June goals and while Clara is not due until July 6th I want to write as the only goal... HAVE A BABY. Oh and pack a bow for the hospital. I have nothing ready but the idea of her being born in June just like her great grandmother June (who got the name for being born in June) is sweet to me. I am all for babies cooking until the due date but a week early is when Skip came. I birth big children. She will be a big ball of chubby cheeks.

10. Tired of my ramblings yet? Yeah me too. Brain dump over. Bye!

6 Things You Don't Know About Me

That picture up above is from this past summer and I see that squish baby and wonder where he went. We are down to just ankle rolls. Thank goodness another baby is coming with the potential promise of rolls and tan lines.

I am not really sure how this post idea came to be but I have started and stopped it about 10 times. Do people really care? How personal do I get here? Are there 6 things people don't know about me? And so I write on.

Pizza // If I had to pick one meal that I ate for the rest of my life it would be pizza. I have seriously considered this friends. I like to celebrate with pizza for any life occasion. New business? Pizza. Kid sleeps through the night? Pizza. You got to work on time? Pizza. Give me any good pizza with toppings and that perfect box it comes in and I am happy. Also pizza is better on paper plates. But alas, one meal forever would be pizza. No doubts.

On being a creative soul // This point has been a struggle for me my whole life until recently and even then I still struggle with a creative spirit. The thing about a creative person is they have lots of ideas, lots of passions. While this is really, really cool it is also a negative. At times I feel I have so many ideas or passions that I never get great at one thing. I try different business ideas. I start too many hobbies. I can't focus. For the longest this has bothered me, at least others perception of me. What will they think of me if I try something else new? How can I convince them it isn't just another thing versus a passion?

But here lately I am learning to embrace that part of who I am and not worry what others say. It is a heavy burden to carry and I don't want to anymore. I am learning that if I try something new at least I am brave enough to try it. I am seeing the positive in being a creative body. I am learning that if I want others to believe in me and my work that the passion and effort behind it will say it all. Being a creative person isn't a terrible thing but a blessing of who I am. I never want to change that.

Music & my mood // Music can 100% turn my mood around. I can be in the worst mood or feeling unproductive but the right song comes on and instant mood changer. Music has always done that for me. Even since I was little I have felt these emotions. For example, driving down the road with warm weather and the windows down is fantastic (!!!) but add Your All I Need to Get By with Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell and you have pure, pure magic. And since you need proof finishing while reading this post, click this link below and hit play. :)

Lunch plans //  If I could have lunch with anyone it would be my grandmother before she developed alzheimer's. I am incredibly blessed to still have her around but her mind is gone. I pray the memories are not. We would have chicken salad on fluffy croissants with her beautiful floral dishes and fresh flowers on the table. We would indulge in dessert (chocolate of course...her favorite) and talk life, faith and aging. I miss her spunk so much but she is still as sassy as ever (even with the alzheimer's). And the best part is her knowing I am naming my sweet girl after her.

Terrible at focusing on one task // Throughout typing this post I have checked email, wrote down a task list, looked at domain things, reviewed images for a project. I have a bad tendency of not completing one task before my mind jumps to something else. I truly need help with it and you can leave your suggestions + tricks in the comments below. :) I do try to focus and check one thing off my list at a time but it never happens that way. Getting my list completed isn't a problem but staying on one task at a time totally is.

Deja vu //  I have moments of deja vu constantly. Just typing this post I was brought to a memory of this moment even though I was creating it at that moment. I am a visual person and a lot of times I will visual things I want/picture for my future. It can be in career, family, finances, anything. Sometimes I think that contributes to the deja vu but I will have the exact same vision months or sometimes years later. Isn't that a weird trait to have? How does deja vu truly work? I should probably find out. Is it even real? Also when I do have those moments I announce them to everyone in the room.

6 things that you all now know! This post sort of feels vulnerable but fun. Thank you all for reading and for that I am sending you the best vibes for your day. Hugs!

This Pregnancy versus the Last

In case you hadn't heard especially with the gender reveal video I posted last week, we are pregnant again! Here is the thing in that it wasn't something we were expecting and yes I do know how babies are made. I wanted to answer some questions (more or less once and for all) + discuss the differences between these pregnancies in a space that is safe and that would fill others in.

We are really, really getting excited about this baby! She will be making her arrival early July and is loving called baby firecracker (official due date July 6). She is healthy and breached which I believe because the kicks to my bladder are fierce. Skip is fascinated with my growing belly even though he doesn't quite get it all. We talk about sissy all the time and he points to my belly when I ask where the baby is. He likes lifting my shirt and looking at my belly which is really cute but he is starting to do it to other people. Ha!

Regardless, let's dig in to the difference between Skip and baby girl Farrin!

Time: Time is absolutely flying by with this pregnancy! When we were pregnant with Skip we kept saying things like, "hurry up!" and "we are so ready to meet you!" but with this baby we keep asking time to slow down. We are in a different stage in life but no matter what we are truly trying to cherish the time we have with Skip as our only baby. We have a trip coming up this May that we are so excited about! R and I were talking about it last night and how grateful we are to we have one more trip with bubs before another baby.

Gender: Obviously the gender is different this time. We are welcoming a little girl! When I got pregnant with Skip a boy wasn't even on my radar but I absolutely love being a boy mom. Skip is truly the sweetest little boy. When he says "mawwwwwmmmmmma" I melt. I will say that I was hoping for a little girl. I am ready for headbands and painting nails.

Health: I have made a 100% effort to be healthier in this pregnancy for various reasons. I was on bed rest for 6 weeks towards the end of my pregnancy with Skip and had to do two rounds of preeclampsia testing. I have tried to eat better plus exercise 4 times a week. It really helps to have Skip around. He doesn't give me much of a chance to lay around or not be moving which I secretly l-o-v-e even on those days I am stumbling tired.

Complications: I absolutely H-A-T-E using the word infertility in my case because I have dear friends who really know the struggle of infertility. I like to go with complications. We knew we would need help getting pregnant with Skip before we decided to give it a try. We had one round of chlomid when trying to get pregnant with Skip and it worked the first time! I showed all the same signs again: rare periods, months without them, no signs of ovulation thus we thought we would need help again. We were not planning on another baby now and possibly at all so God did what he wanted. I joke this is probably the only way we would have another baby is by surprise.

Name: Another time where the two are different. We kept Skip's name a secret until after he was born. We had our reasons to many monogrammed things, others giving their opinion... With this baby girl we are sharing it soon (we have with close family and friends). The biggest reason for me is early bonding with the baby. With Skip we worked so hard to not slip up with his name. My depression after Skip was born was so severe that I asked Rusty if this time we could say the name out loud now. I feel it will help me bond with the baby. He happily agreed. And with a girl bring on the monograms!

Motherhood: Last night I was talking with a girlfriend over dinner and I laughed so hard at my stance on motherhood before Skip. I had to have a natural birth. I had to breastfeed. I had to be home with him 24/7. I had to protect his little body from germs. And I did all those things for a while. This is the ONLY benefit I see to my postpartum depression is that it made my tightly wound thoughts of motherhood disperse almost immediately. Now I am all for what keeps mommy and baby both healthy and that looks different for every person and each season of life. My friend is exactly the same when it comes to doing what is mentally healthy for mom and bebe. Girl power friends or should I say mommy supporting mommy power.

Birth Plan: Birth plan 100% out the window not because we don't want one but this time I am open for whatever. I don't want an expectation or a have to with this birth. Going with the flow. I do hope that labor will begin naturally versus being induced due to health complications.

Body: This category is completely different too! With Skip I gained so much weight in the beginning and it just kept coming especially with excess fluid all over. This time I have put on about 12 lbs. by week 20 with baby girl. My body looks the same to me though. My bump looks the same and overall shape appears the same. My skin is so dry though! It is crazy. Between winter and being pregnant with a girl, my skin itches and my face is peeling like a summer tan. I just ordered honest beauty hydrating face cream and hoping this twice a day will help. Also it is anti-aging cream. Who am I?

Mentally/Depression: This pregnancy has me reflecting heavily on my pregnancy with Skipper. The signs of depression were evident way before Skip arrived (at least to me). I was talking to R about how staying home for three months before I had him wasn't healthy for me. I sat still, slept a lot and did little to nothing to motivate my soul, mind or body. I remember at 20ish weeks of pregnancy with Skip I was sobbing to Rusty on Memorial Day weekend about how much I hated being pregnant and mentally I couldn't handle it anymore. I can confidently say that at 20 weeks now I feel so far from that. I feel happy, healthy and nourished in many areas of life. Having Skip helps.

When it comes to postpartum depression I cannot say it won't happen again because I cannot control that although I + my family know the signs this time. I also know that showering regularly, resting more and laughter are great medicine. I am fully aware this time versus feeling so lonely last time. It is such a dark place that I hope to never visit again. I am just thankful to feel better altogether at this stage of the pregnancy. God is good!

Hopefully this isn't my last pregnancy post but in case you want to revisit some posts from when I was pregnant with Skip you can here, here, here and here.

All images via BLC Photography

6 Things I Learned While Overcoming Postpartum Depression

It has come and gone. Skip turned one and we celebrated his sweet life. It was such a good day.

Life with him is sweet and exciting and more familiar. I mean think about. You welcome this baby but have no prior experience or wisdom on child raising. Everyone passes on their advice and help but you have to figure it out. And we are.

One of the most open posts I have ever written was on postpartum depression something that wasn't anywhere on my radar when preparing for Skip. I mean I never once had a thought about it. I wanted Skip so bad, so, so bad that how could I get depression over having him?

A year later I am here to proclaim, shout, dance, rejoice that it gets better. So much better. Even normal again.

So what all did I learn about postpartum? Don't worry. I am going to tell you plus include pictures of Skip trying out gloves for the first time. Obsessed.

1. Postpartum depression is still so hush, hush so start the conversation. I may overshare that I had postpartum but I want people to know that is is okay. I have people retreat when I bring it up. I have women admit they had it too. I have women stare at me like something is wrong with me. I have seen it all. With something that effects a significant portion of mothers I don't get why it is still regarded as odd or something that you can control. Anytime I speak about it I am hoping to educate others and help those going through it. Make your words count and also the amount you

2. Start a schedule. Everyone has opinions on putting your child on a schedule and I get it. BUT it saved us. Truly saved us. Maybe it is my personality? Regardless, about a month into being home with Skip we started to develop a schedule. We walked every morning, we both napped. We did things around the house and most days we got out of the house. Even if it meant walking the isles of TJ Maxx for an hour, we escaped home.


3. Don't apologize for your behavior. This may sound abrasive but apologizing for postpartum depression is ridiculous to me. The ones who love you and know your situation don't care either. I would burst into tears while on the phone with a friend then spend 10 minutes apologizing that I was crying over not wanting to be with my child. Yes, postpartum depression makes you say and admit to crazy things but don't apologize. Get it out.

4. Explore time away from baby. Whether it is an hour workout or running to the store for something you forgot, try leaving baby behind. Rusty would immediately take Skipper when he got home from work so I could take a hot bath, run or roam the isles of TJ Maxx (reoccurring thing). Take advantage of this. At first I felt freedom and happiness being away from Skip and I was letting go of my control of him. Over time I even started missing him on my excursions. Missing him felt so good because I had never, ever felt that before. Make it a priority and create time for leaving your baby with someone you love. It is healing.


5. Find your healing. Not even two weeks after Skip was born I began medication for ppd. That was only part of my healing. One thing I learned that contributed to my ppd was lack of sleep. It is different for everyone but that one factor really threw me for a loop. I began resting when Skip did. I went to bed earlier. I rested more. I also started eating better and simple exercise. I worked to find what helped me personally heal. I started journaling more and reading scripture regularly. Little things helped me. I even got up pretty stinking early for just a few moments of alone time to sit in the quiet and sip my coffee.

6. It goes away and you love your baby abundantly. I kept waiting for this step to happen. Around month one I started to bond with Skip. He became less fussy and so did mommy. We started connecting and he started to smile. By month two I was head over heels in love. Most moms get that feeling at delivery but it took me longer. But guess what? It came. I tell Rusty and Skip every day how much I love them both. I kiss Skipper constantly. I laugh at him. We dance together. He is learning from me. And then more kissing. By month five, on my own accord, I began to cut back my medicine and by month seven I was completely off of it. I did what worked best for me.

Postpartum depression isn't a lifetime sentence and it doesn't even happen with every baby. Have you dealt with ppd? Overcame ppd? Helped someone going through it? What worked for you?

Let's make postpartum depression talks worthwhile and beneficial.

30 Things I am Thankful For in October

Two years+ ago I wrote a post similar to this one. Counting all the things I am thankful for some may seem like a task but once I start typing the blessings/gratefulness just flows. I highly recommend it. Happy or down, making a list of things you are thankful for is a must. Day maker in fact.

While I love the month of October I didn't want it to be numbers 1-30 (although it could be). These next three months I feel always go by in a big blur. And then when I bring in the new year I am sad that I cannot always remember the feelings on Thanksgiving or Christmas. So reminiscing posts like these help me reflect and remember.

30 Things I am Thankful for in October

1. Jane the Virgin on Netflix. Obsessed.

2. Completing one of my post baby goals of completing a half marathon. Still a bit sore... two weeks later.

3. The month of October all together. See, told you.

4. The massive amounts of leaves in the yard.

5. Snuggling a little longer under the covers in the morning.

6. This article on My Domaine. Women who encourage you through their careers; I always love those articles.

7. Traveling each weekend this month visiting friends and family.

8. Skip developing quite the personality. He stopped playing and came to hug me. It was one of those moments.

9. Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Especially granitas.

10. Laying on the couch with Rusty watching football every night of the week. Almost.

11. Pinning, pinning, pinning.

12. This blog.

13. Family dinners around the table.

14. Quiet moments throughout the day.

15. Rest. Learning that rest for me isn't always sleep but also those quiet moments mentioned above.

16. Dreaming of cold weather and oversized scarves.

17. Easy tips for indesign.

18. Planning a fall baby shower. Pumpkins and magnolia leaves accepted.

19. Editing photos of Skip dressed in a pumpkin costume that Rusty wore when he was a baby.

20. Decorating my front porch.

21. Our sweet neighbor that comes over to play with Skip. She has the kindest heart.

22. Listening to my Frank Sinatra record while making dinner.

23. Thrifting pumpkins to decorate our home with.

24. Evenings outside with Skip. He loves playing outside (begs for it actually). I try to prep dinner then go outside until Daddy gets home. He gets to play and see Daddy drive up.

25. Morning quiet time with hot lemon water and the bible.

26. Possibly the end of nursing. Skip is starting to show signs of being done with nursing (13+ months later). I am not like most nursing moms in that I am ready for it and not emotional about it at all. The only thing that gets me is seeing him show less interest aka making his own decision. That gets to me.

27. Baking pumpkin bread that was absolutely divine. Three ingredients and recipe here.

28. Downtown El Dorado and how quirky, refreshing and eclectic it is.

29. Thrifting our Halloween costumes.

30. The fall apple candle that burns constantly in my house.

Okay, now it is your turn! Happy October friends. And may we be so present in each moment. :)

A Note to Myself on the Day After I Turned 28

Dear self,

You turned 28 years old yesterday. The celebration was truly sweet.

Literally until this year your birthday has been a big production. Lots of shouting it is your birthday, celebrating for weeks, lots of cakes, multiple parties and while I do love that stuff (give me any reason to celebrate something) this year you kept quiet.

You didn't really speak about your birthday.

For some reason it was different this year.

Maybe having a baby? Maybe all the stress of moving? Maybe all the excitement of the unknown in our new town? Maybe growing older? Regardless the change was sweet.

A great day that wasn't too out of the ordinary but some indulgence was included.

You made 28 years and there is a lot to show but thank goodness that growth is waiting on me too.

But you are here and that deserves celebrating.

It was a treat to wake up to your family. Your family that loves you unconditionally. Rejoice in that.

It was a treat to see your baby happy and healthy. A baby that loves you and never knows where you fail as a mother. A baby that makes your heart skip a beat.

It was a treat to spend the night surrounded by family. It was a treat to sit around the dinner table and laugh with friends. It was a treat to stuff myself silly of mahi mahi and shaved brussel sprouts.

But the biggest blessing were all the words of kindness. People expressing their affection for you. Take that in. Don't turn it away or deflect it. Revel in it. Be encouraged by it. Go back and read those words days and weeks from now. But more importantly, pour that back into those people. Show them the same love and kindness. They deserve it. You deserve it.

Happy 28th birthday gal!

Now go finish that last piece of banana split ice cream cake :)

What Does Your Name Mean?

Welcome friends. Two days ago was one of those fun holidays. Not as fun as national pancake day (earlier this week) or National Puppy Day (later this month) or even National Cheese Pizza Day (September 5th) which should never, ever be missed.

Alas, it was What Does Your Name Mean Day and I couldn't be more excited.

When I was younger I use to remember what my name meant but first for those who don't know my first and middle name let me tell you. Wait for it because it is a dozy.

Katherine Irene.

Yeah, Irene.

There is a joke that goes on between my mom and I. When I was in high school I was given the photo of my great grandmother whom I was named after. I have always kept the photo and moved it to each place and home I have lived in. It is an old black and white with my great grandmother and her miniature pony. When I first got the photo I asked my mom if this was who I was named after. She replied a simple yes then added that I was in fact named after someone in the photo, the miniature pony named Irene. Isn't my mom funny? Obviously the pony wasn't named Irene but my mom just laughs every time. She is clever, that one.

And after typing that story I see where my sense of humor comes from because I would totally do that to my child and laugh about it.

Regardless my name has meaning. It is historical and significant to my family but what about its worldly meaning?

So I looked it up. The ol' Google did me well this morning.

Katherine means pure.
Irene means peace.

Pure peace.

That struck me immediately. I feel like I needed to see this. I needed to find this. My name represents peace and pureness. I am to represent peace and pureness. It is encouraging. It is challenging. It is just for me.

And if that isn't reason enough for me to be happy I don't know what will.

What does your name mean? It may be something you need to find out.

Image by the lovely Felicia Hausman Photography

How Mommy Is Getting Her Groove Back

If you read this post, you know that having a baby was a big high and a big low for me. BUTTTTT all is getting better...

Thank goodness.

So how did this mommy learn to get her groove back?

1. A new bible study. I am currently reading this one from She Reads Truth and going through the workbook. It has brought new life to me. Some days I get 5 minutes in while other days I get 30 minutes in.

2. Exercise. I seriously hate that word and hope that those feelings change but it has helped tremendously. Whether a run or a walk around the block, I am thankful for that time. I really want to get back in to half marathon shape plus be able to run when pregnant again {Yes, I am already thinking about our second baby. ;)}

3. Mommy time. Thus far this includes bunko once a month and coffee while blogging (hello this post!) at the local coffee shop. It is amazing what a little time away from your baby can bring to your mojo. Don't get me wrong, I hate leaving Skip but an hour to myself is so nice. I always love coming back to kiss those cheeks.

4. Music. Skip and I love to dance and sing. We firmly believe in turning on the record player and dancing to our hearts desire. Music warms my soul. It is a daily must.

5. Getting dressed or at least changing my outfit. When I was pregnant a friend of mine told me to get dressed every day, put on make up and do my hair. She said it was so helpful when she was a stay at home mommy. While I hardly ever get make up done, I am putting on an outfit each day that makes me feel confident. I also try to maintain this curly mop.

6. Knowing it is okay to be away from baby for a little bit. This was hard for me. The first two weeks of Skip's life I didn't leave his side. Not a moment away. I oversaw everything and realized that I am not happy living that way. Being away from the baby is good for both of us. It really does let us grow fonder of one another. So whether it is a walk by myself, a pedicure or just a drive, I try to get away from him once or twice a week.

7. Making a new routine. Adding a baby totally changes your routine. Yes, some things stay the same but we also made a new routine that works for both of us. Breakfast with coffee is a must. Exercise each day. We also have a set time to run errands. Getting Skip to nurse and nap on a schedule has been the best thing yet.

Adding a baby to the mix is a blessing but learning how to make it all work and be happy is a priority. How did you get your groove back? And remember it takes time.

Mentions of Kitchens, Frozen Yogurt and Fall

I knew that title would pull you just right in. This post is a compalation of things that I have been thinking about lately. Some things may interest you but if not move onto the next point. And everything is in list form because you know that list is my middle name. Katie List Farrin. Wouldn't that be weird if that really was my last name? Oh no, it probably is someone's name or a celebrity baby name. Am I in trouble?

Moving on.

1. I am so ready for Fall. Leaves, boots, our son, pumpkin everything and mostly, cooler weather.

2. I sweat all the time. It is summer and I am pregnant. I have quit making excuses or apologizing for sweating. I just let it go. Attractive, I know.

3. When you are pregnant two things happen: 1: Men are more attracted to you. I swear it y'all. I don't know if I am giving off a vibe or a smell or my sweaty forehead?? I seriously don't know what it is but I have had more men hit on me in the past eight months than in the last two years. I mean, whatever. I guess. Ha! 2: People love to help you (for the most part). People grab the door, take your cart for you, put stuff in your trunk, bring you jam, understand when you put your feet up on their coffee table. It is just so kind and I love seeing how kind others are. It is encouraging. Everyone told me that people try to help when you are pregnant and they were right.

4. Am I really putting baby clothes into a dresser for a child? Is this real life? I will take it though.

5. I am working on a post about our birth plan and why I think it important for Rusty and I to have one. Everyone laughs at me when I say the phrase 'birth plan' but oh well. Birth plan it is.

6. No more pregnancy talk in this post. I know. It gets old for those not with child or already moms. Daunting.

7. Do you take extra time for yourself? I have recently started thinking about this and it may spur from some blog posts that I have read lately but think about it. Do you have a workout routine sans kids? Do you have date nights? Do you put on your favorite dress just because? Do you occasionally splurge on new undies or a purse? What about your nighttime skin care? Just a thought. How do we get so busy that we put ourselves on the back burner? Are women programmed this way? Do I ask enough questions? Ha. I guess I want us to make more for ourselves. Confidently, say no to something to make time for us. What an idea!

8. Go get a sno cone. Let that picture above persuade you. Or frozen yogurt. Speaking of frozen yogurt, El Dorado got a little yogurt shop and they have carmel and green apple frozen yogurt. It may have been the best thing I have tasted. It was so good and normally I get tons of toppings but this was so good I just wanted yogurt.

9. Rusty and I are wanting to remodel our kitchen in the next two to three years. It currently wears the prettiest 1980's floral wallpaper. A real charmer, you know. I am finding that our new design ideas fit together but our style of how we should decorate with doesn't mess well. I also wonder about products and how they work. For example, I l-o-v-e wood counter tops but they have mixed reviews. So many people swear by them while others hate them. Bah! If only there was a way to try out products before you bought them.

10. I am currently addicted to Pinterest. It comes in waves and I am riding the wave high these days. It is just a place of pretty inspiration and happiness for me. Also when I wake in the middle of the night fully awake it helps.

11. I have a problem and there may be no cure. I talk to my dogs.... a lot. It has gotten worse since I am home more. Even Rusty stares at me blankly. Anyone else? Surely, someone. Help.

12. :)

Birthday Happy List

Let's be honest. This post is for my husband and mom but hey, it keeps being a yearly tradition on the blog. I cannot believe that in a few short weeks I am turning 27. I remember playing hotel with my best friend (yeah, we ran a hotel business and it was wildly successful) when we were little and pretending to be 27. My idea of 27 then was running a business, living in a big city and having multiple boyfriends. While my best friend is living that life (and she is so awesome), I am married, a homeowner and going to be a mommy. A little different but even sweeter.

So what made this years birthday list? 

//Bringing Up Bebe//

I have heard such wonderful things about this book. It is from the perspective of an American mom who finds herself raising her child in France. The approach of French parents is so intriguing to me. I cannot wait to dive into this book.

//Ice Cream Cake//

Duh.

//Instax Camera//

This one is more for me and baby. I adore this little camera and the idea of pulling it out to use all the time especially in the first year.

//Cinema Gift Card//

One thing I use to do all the time was go see a matinee. And I want to do this again. Sneak in snacks and watch a movie. Sigh, it makes me happy.

//Diaper Bag//

I really didn't want to put anything on my birthday wishlist that included baby but I love this bag. I love the look and style and it just so happens to be a diaper bag which makes it even better. I have bag goo goo eyes. Isn't she a beaut?

//Pedicure//
I really may set up a camera and film me painting my toes. At 31 weeks pregnant, it is quite comical and tiring. Who would have thought it could be such a workout? Someone massaging and rubbing my feet and legs = heaven. Honestly, this gift would complete my birthday.

In case you want to see last year's list. I love birthday's and considering this is the last one before baby it makes it a little bit more special.

One of Those Big Decisions

It has taken me a while to write this post. I have started and stopped it for about two months now. It is hard to write for several reasons but here I am. Writing and using this blog as free therapy. Thanks Blogger.

Let me start with a story...

Yesterday I had a mentor/mentee meeting within our school district. Our district has this great program that allows you to be mentored by a veteran teacher in your first two years of teaching. I have been graced with the best mentor. She is blunt, hysterical and has the best taste in music (I know that is weird but she plays music every day). Regardless, I was not down for this meeting. It was pouring rain and I wanted to sleep. (Surprise comment from this pregnant gal) Again, this was the last place I wanted to be. I will come back to this story.

Almost a year ago Rusty and I moved to El Dorado to start a new chapter, in a new(ish) town. I had time to look for a job and saw an ad in the paper for the Journalism teaching position at my Alma mater. As most of you know, I took it. Without hesitation.

And boy let me tell you. One day I will write a post all about my first year of teaching. But that saying that anyone can teach. Yeah, HA! Again, another post.

I took the job and while I am still not sure on being a teacher I l-o-v-e my kids. My kids are great. I have formed relationships with most of them that make them each special. I really love my kids. I know, I have mentioned it but my hearts swells up for them.  Even the ones who gave me the hardest time at the beginning of the year mean the world to me.

I can remember my first three weeks of teaching. As soon as the 3:15 bell rang at the end of the day, I sobbed. Teaching is so hard. It isn't like the movies or the same at every school. I would go home, cry for an hour or two then get ready for the next day. Yes, I finally got over the crying and learned how to work my classroom. And then fell for my kids.

When we found out we were pregnant, well technically we didn't think it would take on the first try, we were elated! The timing happened faster than we thought (like a full year - we have some minor infertility issues). We expected trying for a few months and things working to having a baby around Spring of 2015. Well, it didn't. Badda bing, badda boom, month one. We couldn't believe and I still cannot believe how good God has been to us during trying for our first baby. He shows up with each moment of this pregnancy (even the gross/weird/what in the world is happening to my body moments).

When March rolled around, Rusty and I started talking about one dream that I have always been clear and vocal about, being a stay at home mommy. Before Rusty and I ever got married we talked about how much I wanted to stay home with our babe(s). After much analyzing, pray, thinking, talking, list making, I have decided not to return next year to teaching. I thought Rusty would be hesitant but he has supported my dream and is getting so excited. It is so awesome to see my husband getting excited about a baby and a wife that will be home. He has worked so hard to create a budget that works with all our bills, student loans (which we are trying to pay off like crazy people) and our new home. He is working so hard and I love him even more for that.

But I will be home next year with our baby. And I cannot believe it. God is so good. Dreams are so good. And this baby, my goodness, it is so good.

Yes, I could realize that it isn't for me but work is always there. For now, it is all about being a mommy.

I have cried a bit over missing my students. I have formed such amazing bonds with students that I would have every year in my classroom due to the subject I teach. But I am leaving with one fabulous year of blessings. One year that has impacted my life not only with teaching but education. I didn't realize I could love other people the way I have learned to love these students. God is good. And he closes the door when it should be closed. I am trusting him but I am also preparing for a lifestyle at home.

One thing I have struggled with the most is whether or not my kids would be upset. I didn't want to let them down and the fact that I will not be returning to see them graduate, date, play sports, make me laugh, has been hard to grasp. Back to yesterday. A teacher that taught me in high school put every little moment of worry, fear, anxiety, sadness into perspective with leaving. She said, "Katie, you will never ever regret staying home with your baby those first few years. They need you. But you may regret keeping a job that keeps you from following your dream of staying home with your baby." It blew my mind. For months now I have needed confirmation, verbally. Not just an answered prayer. I know it is silly and selfish but I needed someone who has been in my place say that to me. And she did. And I cannot thank her enough. I told her I loved her and I needed her words.

It is so true. I want a life that doesn't reflect what others wanted or thought of me but what passion ignites in my heart. This life is a gift and I have never understood that as much as I do now. I never want to look back and regret. Ever. I want to see the growth and feel the experience and be moved by my life. Do I make any sense? I feel like maybe I just might.

Image via Sarah Tucker - Her blog is 100% fabulous.

Life Lately // Volume 3

Oh life. I am really digging you. Especially through the eye of my lovely camera phone. I promise some day to use a real camera. Maybe when I grow up.

Sorry for the iPhone picture. One of our goals is to get a new camera before baby. This is at ll weeks and 6 days. Now my belly is not that big in the morning but after each meal I get big. I love my belly.

Our baby bear in photo. Oh tears.

A few baby purchases (little in price) are happening. I may or may not be obsessed with baby hats. A hat for our little bunny.

Fitting for our family.

My sweet yearbook kids donating to the Arkansas Children's Hospital. I love them all.

Just a little fire and good conversation.

The thing about working at the school you went to for high school is people stick incriminating photos in your mailbox. This is my senior year at our athletic banquet and sweetheart court for school.

Jane napping. I love this little bitty.

We have a morning tradition of the puppies eating breakfast then getting back in bed with Daddy. I wrap them like burritos. This is a Marcy burrito.

Maternity shirt shopping. I love maternity clothes. They are so comfortable. All clothes should be this long.

Payton spent the afternoon with us one day a few weeks ago. He played outside all day. As his mom came to pick him up, he got still and fell asleep. He is the sweetest.

Jane and I did some yoga outside. She knows something is different with me and has become very protective. She is the best.

My niece, Sadie Rose, wearing her new Haddie Mae headband. Get yours here. Seriously, I love mine.

The only sign of spring in our yard. I just sit and stare at it. Spring, I can feel you!

I finally bought a pair of Toms. I don't like regular Toms (to be honest). But I saw this pair and loved that they lace up and I got them almost $20 off from Zulilly. I am so ready for warm weather and Toms!

2014 is the year for Following Your Heart! Y'all Ready?

Guys, I have missed you so much. Really I have. And it is a new year. It is 2014, a date which I have not written yet. Isn't always weird when you write the new year for the first time?

I love a new year. It is a blank slate, a clean palette, a new beginning and all those other happy thoughts. It is a time of reflection and rest. It is a time for new goals. It is a time of joyous aspirations. Everyone is so happy, healthy and encouraging. I love all the goal posts. It is refreshing y'all.

A few days ago I finally got some quiet time and had no plans (Christmas break was b-u-s-y but p-e-r-f-e-c-t). I found myself really wanting a mantra for this year. I wanted something that I could cling to in every emotion of life and that is when I was thinking about my favorite sweater. It reads Follow Your Heart. When you are upset, follow your heart. When you are overjoyed, follow your heart. When you need to lose 10 pounds, follow your heart. When you give or need advice, follow your heart (and pray!). When you are contemplating that new pair of shoes that would be perfect for date night, follow your heart (and budget. ha.) And if y'all didn't rock already you all sent me encouraging words and fuzzy hearts. It was so good for my soul and the first step in the right direction for 2014. Follow me on instagram here for more fun. (It is set to private because I am a shaper of young minds but I promise to give you the thumbs up. Also this is a shameless plug for more friends that I can get to know on ig.)

So here I am following my heart and well, it is time for goals, dreams, aspirations, 2014 stuff. You with me? I made two lists. One personal, one business. Side note: this was the year of notebooks for me. Everyone who spends two seconds with me knows my love for paper goods and journals. After journal number 3 I decided I am a lucky lady with folks who spent their money correctly on me this Christmas. I loved writing my notes in my aqua journal with a cover that says Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle. A kick in the pants and perhaps a goal down below? Did that create suspense for you? Knew it. Let's do this.

{Personal Goals}
+ Make/find a career that I love. Yes, I do teach but I am not sure where that is taking me. I am still learning a lot about teaching. I am a bit hesitation to share this. I love to write. I love pretty things. I love a good party. I love paper goods. I love the outdoors. Now how do I combine all that? A few goals down is one on trusting God. It all comes back to listening and trusting god.

+ Make our house a home. I have loved having time to decorate, clean, organize but we still have a long, long, never ending way to go. I have to pace myself and our budget on repairs, updates and changes. We are really enjoying the process so far. I am creating a home with R that we hope to pop the top of champs in, bring home a baby in, welcome a new puppy in...oh wait, I already did that. You are welcome R! ;)

+ Make an effective budget and stick to it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I need it, blah. Apparently I need an attitude change about this too.

+ Do more of what matters in life. Oh my goodness, this one challenges me. It really does. I have a few days of so much joy doing what I love and then wonder why I don't continue that atmosphere and attitude each day. Crazy lady?! I want to breath it in (what matters most that is). I want to find out new hobbies that I didn't know I could love. I want to spend more time writing notes to friends (actual pen and paper). I want to be focused on a God that changes lives. He is so God and he matters most. Everything else falls into place after that.

+ Create + embrace true God given joy, success and learn 100% how to trust him. Learn how to trust. Gulp. I know God has more for me in certain aspects of my life and it is time to find them. I want to walk each step with him, wait for it, consistently. Embrace my God and who he is.

+ A vacation. A big ol' vacation with my good looking husband and maybe a few little ones thrown in there. I need sand in my toes, fresh mountain air in my lungs, good food in my belly and time to 1,000% unplug. Fingers crossed for a trip in late March.

+ Go to bed with my phone in the other room. This may be the second most important thing for me. Gah, I love social media but I hate it too. Luckily R got a new alarm clock. We will see how that goes.

{Business Goals}
+ Give LBP a new look, new social media face lift, a new name (say what?), a new everything. I am ready for a fresh new look. I want a blog that I love. Every.square.inch.and.post.of.it.

+ Work more effectively. This is my Achilles heel. Straight up y'all. I love to turn the tv on or pull up social media or fold laundry (totally kidding on the laundry part) but the point is I get distracted. Follow through and effectiveness is my new middle name. Katie Effective Farrin. It works?

+ Change up my content. One of the biggest changes I am making to the blog is changing it just from weddings and relationships to a lifestyle blog. SURPRISE! Ha. I will still feature wonderful couples and weddings but I also want to throw in a fun recipe I make, a cocktail that changed my life, a photo of my new tulle skirt, real talk about life. I want more real. Real life, real mistakes, real dreams, real love.

+ Make stronger business friendships and connections. There are so many times I want to email, comment and hug other bloggers, business women, photographers, shop owners, fabulous people but fall away to fear. Is it silly that I am 26 years old and live in fear when it comes to my dreams? I need to make no apologies for who I am and what I stand for. I want to build friendships with lovely people that are encouraging and who can inspire me with their awesome, spectacular lives. So hi to anyone new here today.

+ Create a brand I love. Yes, this goes back to giving LBP a new look but also content that excites. I cannot wait to share more. Eeeep!

+ Create more pretty. Pretty in my book is making others happy, making myself happy, sparkle, crisp images, gold everything, flowers, laughter, laugh lines ;), time with my favorite people, mentoring, encouraging others, life. I want all that here. On these pages, uh, blog posts. Thank you Lord for three years of blogging. It has been a constant. I love this space but it is time to really make my own. It only took two years of trying y'all.

So what do you think? What are your plans? How are you making things happen? I hope that I can help and encourage you along the way. I hope that 2014 is a year of bliss, change, letting go and most importantly, following your heart. 2014, I see you and I am coming full steam ahead.

Image via Stephanie Sterjovski

Making, Reading, Wanting + A Christmas Tree Picture

I originally saw this post done on The Day Book Blog. Side note: If you aren't reading Sydney's blog, go now. I give you full permission to leave right now and go to hers. Sydney is the perfect mix of mommy, wife, blogger, positive light and bohemian style. She gets an A in my book.

Making : a hot cup of coffee. My secret Santa at school treated me to vanilla coffee and it is delicious.

Cooking : yeah right. Cooking went out the window when I started teaching. Sorry R.

Drinking : coffee with a splash of peppermint mocha creamer. Peppermint mocha creamer, always a good decision.

Reading : Summer Sisters by Judy Blume. It comes highly recommended plus I got to meet Judy a few weeks ago.

Wanting : Christmas break to get here. I need a break.

Looking: at pictures of Christmas in New York. Surprised? I didn't think so either.

Playing: Bing Crosby Christmas radio.

Wasting: time that I need to get ready. It is okay though. I love early mornings and blogging. It makes for a heart warming combination.

Sewing: hopefully a cranberry garland for the tree.

Wishing: I had a record player. It is on the Christmas list.

Enjoying: the fact that I get to play a Christmas song for love song Friday tomorrow.

Waiting: for our school's Christmas concert today. I love watching our kids perform plus it is a Christmas theme. My favorite is Carol of the Bells. (They still sing it at the high school just like when I was there).

Liking: our new, big bed. It makes it harder to get up in the morning but gives us a reason to snuggle in a little longer.

Wondering: about starting a family.

Loving: this quiet morning. I love these quiet mornings and the glow of the computer.

Hoping: my kids ace their final. It means so much to me.

Marveling: at how much I love Rusty. The love for my husband is something I have a hard time putting into eloquent words. That man just makes everything happen. Everything.

Needing: girls night. I have one tonight with some of my favorite people. I seriously love my friends I have made with teaching. I just cannot explain how many times I have gone to them crying, rejoicing, excited, frustrated, exhausted and over joyed and they are right there with me. They know the right words to say, the perfect amount of squeeze to put into their hugs. They are so good for my soul. And let's just say they know how to throw a girls night...

Smelling: the cold morning air. I wish I could bottle it up.

Wearing: my favorite purple corduroy skinnies and thick gray sweater. More than likely I will have a stunning hair day with perfect curls and a pretty velvet bow adorning my main my hair in a pony tail. It is still yet to be decided.

Following: my favorite blogs. A few Hey Natalie Jean, the Day Book, Nancy Ray Photography, Lara Casey, A Fabulous Fete, A Beautiful Mess, A House in the Hills...I could go on for hours.

Noticing: how my style is becoming a style I love. A student told me yesterday that I dress like I am not 50 like the other teachers. Thank you sweet child, thank you.

Knowing: Christmas break is so close. What? I am already mentioned that? No.

Thinking: about acts of kindness I can give to others this time of year but also how I can continue it after the holidays. Ways to keep it going, you know.

Feeling: so gracious that our family is all traveling to us this year for Christmas and that we have a house perfect for hosting now.

Bookmarking: This post of holiday tablescapes by Jacin of Lovely Little Details. Everything Jacin touches is magic. I want to incorporate magnolia leaves straight from our yard into my tablescape for Christmas lunch. I love using things from the yard.

Opening: my bible. I thrive by spending time in God's word. I put on the armor every day. I want to make him proud.

Giggling: no giggles yet but I know my kids will make it happen today.

Feeling: so glad and thankful to be blogging. I love this space and I am glad you come here. Really, I couldn't do it without you guys.

Your turn now. :)

Image via Hey Natalie Jean

Learning to Rest

So last week I spent two days on the couch. Between blowing my nose, back aches and running fever, I laid in misery. And then I read this post and it changed everything.

You see, if you know me, I love to think that I simplify my life. You can read further evidence here and here. I get in these kicks where I want to start over. Purge my closet. Stop spending. Slow down. Make healthier choices. These things are always present but my follow through can be shoty. At best.

I ran myself down.

My freshman year of college was so bad health wise. I had numerous sinus infections, the stomach bug twice, mono and a few other aliments that practically put the typical freshman year of excitement on hold. I even had to come home (I went to school 4 hours north of my hometown) and spend an entire week off from college. My teachers allowed me to work on school work from home. It was also the time of my sorority initiation. I missed all the activities leading up to our big day of becoming true members of AGD. It was all so hard and devastating and upsetting. I was missing out on so much life due to being sick. My mom decided that something needed to change and that summer I underwent a surgery to have my tonsils removed. Yes, most kids have this done when they are really young. I was 19 and the older you are the more serious this surgery is and the harder the recovery. It is amazing that a 20 minute outpatient surgery left me in agony for about two months. Needless to say, it is what my body needed. I was harboring too much sickness. I also decided to start to make some small changes to be a bit healthier. I worked out every day. I ate somewhat better.

With all this being said, I learned the true value of listening to my body. From that point on I could tell when I needed sleep or I was coming down with something. I could tell that I needed rest.

So why do I struggle so much with rest? With being still. Why is that such an issue? The more I think about it I understand that my personality is go-go-go. My life is a list. I love that though. I love checking things off. I love the feeling of accomplishing things but here I was right back to being sick last week.

I know that I want and need rest. I need rest. You need rest. We need a sigh of relief and rest. I decided the best way to be okay with rest is reading about it more. I needed a better understanding and that is when I discovered Naptime Diaries post about being free to rest. I immediately was changed by the word free. Not free as in it came cheap but free as in it is a freeing concept.

I spent so much time over those two days last week thinking and reflecting. A lot of time. I realized that I have three things that I really struggle with when it comes to understanding and accepting rest.

{Breaking the myth: Being lazy}
This is numero uno for my biggest draw back to resting. I feel like it makes me appear lazy. If on a Saturday afternoon I read on the couch for two hours I fear my family will think I am lazy. So I asked R what he thought. Breaking through this myth, he said he didn't see it that way at all. He knows how hard I work at school, with grad school and on being a wife. He is happy and actually thinks I deserve rest. In no way are we lazy if we just stop and rest. Taking a nap or spending 40 minutes catching up on your favorite blogs is not lazy. You deserve to partake in an activity that is restful and enjoyable. I am not lazy if I do these things. Neither are you. Recharge. Rest.

{Breaking the myth: Things will fall apart}
I have this idea that the world cannot exist without me constantly going. It may sound conceited but work with high school students for one day and you will understand where I get this idea. If I take one afternoon out of 7 days in a week to do something for me things keep going. I have lived to tell about it. Things will keep revolving. The world will not self implode. Rest.

{Breaking the myth: I will miss out on something}
This myth irritates me. I bought into. Well if I take a week off Instagram I will miss something. I will miss a picture of a cute puppy, baby, wedding, DIY project. I will miss something. So I challenged myself. This week I am taking the entire week off Instagram. I am not even clicking on a picture someone posted on their Facebook or Twitter. I am already starting to forget the logo (kidding) but it is so rewarding. I was completely wrong too. I haven't missed anything. I am actually finding that I am seeing more than before. I have been missing out what is happening around me. I am capturing more in my every day life that I was too busy worrying about Instagramming. I am not trying to hurt those who love Instagram because I still do (and will be back on it eventually) but my goodness it feels good to put. the. phone. down. The picture above is the picture of the sun rising as I drove to school two days ago. I pulled over and got out of the car to take this picture. Aren't fall sunrises and sunsets the best? And instead of posting it to Instagram immediately I stood there in the road marveling at how good God is and thanking him for his promises. I am seeing so much more. So much more.

So I don't know if this post is for you or not? But rest is good. Rest is healthy. Rest is needed. I challenge to you to learn more about rest. I challenge you to rest more. I challenge you to see the world with a rested heart. I have learned that me at 45% due to being tired, overworked, cranky is no good. 100% is where it is at y'all!

And in case you want a bit more on rest and learning to rest here are a few more articles:

Learning to Rest on Finding Joy

Learning to Rest on Darling Magazine

We are Free to Rest on Naptime Diaries

What are your thoughts on rest? Do you struggle with being still? We are allowed to rest. It is good to rest. You deserve to rest.