October 4, 2012

Q & A: How to Gift the Correct Way

Happy Thursday friends! I am happy to be here and blogging. Even more so, I am glad that you made it back today. If you are new, hi there! A week or so ago, I received the email below in my inbox and it of coursed sparked today's Q & A session.

Q. Hi Katie! I don't usually send emails to blogs, but I came across yours and I wanted your opinion on something. So here's the story:

I was at a wedding at the bride's father's country club so you know he paid a pretty, shiny penny for his little girl. "David" comes up to me and asks if I could break a twenty. I didn't so he went up to the bar, ordered a beer and got a $10 bill. He then proceeds to hand the money to his wife, who then places the $10 in a card and seals it up. I was so shocked, embarrassed and a bit upset to see this. Listen, I'm not saying they MUST bring a gift and sometimes money is an issue. I get it. But $10?! $10?! At that rate, just say no thank you and don't show up! Of course they proceeded to eat, drink and be merry for the rest of the night. Am I being a snob? This happened months ago and I'm still peeved!


A. Valerie, let me start by saying I love your banter. I know that if we lived near one another we would be besties (and I don't even like that word). It is so good to hear from you and I love that you took the time to email me. Now for your question:

You are not a snob, not one bit. I think I would react the way that you did. Shock, irritation and my mouth hanging open thinking did I really just watch that? As an one time planning bride, it would offended me but luckily the bride didn't see the exchange.

I do not want to come across as a snooty blogger. Any type of gift is such a blessing (including $10) and I know that as a bride I was just happy to have everyone there regardless of if they gave us a gift. I knew that not everyone would give us a present and that isn't the point of why we got married. The problem is making change at the bar for the gift and filling out your card at the reception. Sometimes I think people have lost their manners. On a positive note, that is one thing I hope to do with my blog, educate others. All we can do is kill people with kindness and treat them with the respect that we expect in return. Here are a few ideas for new couples or gifts to take with you to the wedding:

1. Gift cards. Some people may think this is tacky but I loved getting gift cards. Rusty and I didn't spend money eating out for months into our marriage and didn't pay a dime for groceries for a month or two (and that is with a monthly budget of $300 for groceries). Gift cards are easy and putting it in a fun card with a sweet note is a great gift! We also liked the idea of having a prepaid Visa that we were able to use how we wanted and were not restricted to use it at one store.

2. Something thoughtful or homemade. I love gifts like this. Gift the couple with a paperback journal to record their favorite moments in or a painting of the city where they met. Let your gift have meaning. These were my favorite. Hands down.

3. The official registry is always good. The registry will never let you down. Stores make it beyond easy to order online or pick out in store.

I was taught to always give abundantly. My mother instilled that in me and I love passing along love through a present. I am the type of person who searches until I find the perfect gift for someone. Try your best to already have the gift ready to go and wrapped before you arrive at the wedding. Throwing a ten into a card at the wedding reception is not appropriate. You are a guest that has been paid for by this sweet couple/family so act accordingly. Have fun, let your hair down, celebrate a beautiful marriage but remember to be courteous of the couple and the time they have spent to make this wedding happen.

I hope this helps with your question Valerie. Anyone else want to add? Leave your comments below! Happy Thursday lovelies!


  1. On a personal note - We got $15 from someone as a wedding gift and it didn't bother me at all. We're slowly coming out of a recession and for some people that IS a lot of money.

    1. I do not think there is anything wrong with the amount of money given. I think the problem is making change at the bar and throwing it in a card that is wrong. Like I said, ANY gift is a nice gift.

  2. I agree. Any gift is nice, but the WAY the whole thing went down is kind of cheesy...

    1. I agree. But I am also the gal who loves to wrap with pretty paper. I almost find it surprising not everyone else does this too. Kidding ;)

  3. Hmmm...I guess I'm the only one who thinks this guy just sounds cheap? If he just put the $20 in the envelope, that would be one thing...but to go up and buy a beer in order to break the $20? Ick! However, I'm really impressed by your response! You turned a negative into a positive by suggesting better ways to gift (no matter your budget)!


I would love to hear from you! Let's encourage one another.