Q & A: Joining Finances or Keeping Things Separate

Thursday Q & A time folks. First, how about a small celebration that it is almost Friday. This week has been a week of readjusting. Sometimes I love vacation but then getting back on track and caught up afterwards can be tough. Like I mentioned, it is almost Friday. :)

What does that picture up above have to do with finances? Oh, nothing but isn't it the prettiest? I stumbled upon Our Labor of Love and am captivated. I scrolled through their work and love it and I know you will enjoy it just as much.

Today's topic covers finances. I always grew up thinking that couples automatically joined their bank accounts together when they got married. Rusty and I made the decision to create one account when we became engaged. Without hesitation we joined our finances but we did talk every scenario through. It wasn't until a few months later when I started asking girlfriends if they had joined accounts that I learned some couples keep things separate. To be honest, the concept blew my mind. Of course I listened to their stories and the more I learn about couples and finances and bills, I truly believe that each couple is a case-by-case decision.

I know finances aren't that exciting. Contain yourself but money is a big deal in relationships. A big deal. I have said this before but the only arguments that Rusty and I have had during our marriage is when it comes to our spending and bank account. One study I read stated that the term financial disagreement is one of the biggest reasons for divorce and that couples who disagree about finances more than once a week are at a higher risk for divorce. Now do not let that statistic scare you. Like I said, each couple is a case by case. Since money, bills and saving is a key component for each relationship I thought I would bring in Rusty for a little help with this post. He actually responded positively and took this blog post really seriously.

1. Talk it over then talk it over again. This may seem extremely obvious but communication with money is crucial whether you have one account together or separate accounts. Your decision is a big deal. There is just no way around it. The principles you have with money effect many aspects of your life and especially your future. Whether joint account or separate finances, communication is something that no couple should avoid. It may take a few chats but it is worth it.

2. Do what suits your lifestyles. If you decide to join your accounts then go for it. Try out what works best for you. It can be easy to be swayed by what others tell you to do. Everyone has the best advice in his or her mind but pick what fits into your every day life. Who knows? A friend may have some inspiration you didn't think of but your finances are your finances.

3. It is not long yours and his but ours. Or as Rusty corrected, it is no longer yours and his but mine and ours. So not true husband. Ha! All kidding aside, getting married brings in new bills and a different way of accounting. Regardless of which way you go (joint or separate banking accounts), it is no longer just you. Keep your partner in mind, what you will pay in bills, what you should save and where you want to enjoy.

4. Find what works. This was difficult for Rusty and I. It has taken us several different tries but we are starting to find the right balance for us. We have tried giving each of us a cash allowance to due what we want, we have tried separate "fun" accounts and we have tried to do everything from one account. Do not worry if it takes you a few times or tries. You are not failing but finding the right fit. That is so important!

5. Make sure you discuss spending and saving. You and your partner should have similar theories and practices when it comes to how you spend and save your money. If you do not see eye to eye, a joint account may not be the best idea for your relationship. You should at least agree on the basic principles. Talk, talk, talk.

I hope that these tips help. The biggest thing is talk about it all and find what works for you. What works best in your relationship? Joint accounts or separate finances? Any advice to pass long? Let me know your thoughts!

Two Years

{Daniel Holman Photography}

Today Rusty and I celebrate two years of marriage. I thought another honest heart felt post was in order. I have come to learn this past year that being married to Rusty is not easy but I also know I am not easy to be married to. We have argued. We have had different ideas of where our lives should head. We have also met the death of someone special to us. But most importantly, we have loved each other completely.

This year has taught me a lot. The number one lesson I have learned is I am ridicuously blessed with the man that picked me. I can find myself getting laugh lines because of him. I wear my laugh lines proudly. I find myself being challenged. I find myself picturing what our one day babies will be like. I picture all the fun adventures waiting for us. I know that no matter what my life brings, I will forever be grateful for this man. He gave me hope for "the one" when I really didn't think it was possible. He lifts my spirits. He tells me I am pretty. I really did luck out with this one but if that is where all my luck went, I am okay with that.

To the man who loves me, thank you for that. To the man who asked me to be his bride, I am blessed. To the man who has taught me a lot about myself, my ambitions and my need/wants, I am forever thankful for you. Marriage is something I cannot explain but I know I want it. I want it every day with Rusty. He is my heart and I do not think I can tell him that enough. Rusty, you are hands down my great accomplishment in life. I am so proud to call you mine. Happy anniversary love!

P.s. We may have done a little photo session with my favorite Daniel Holman Photography but you have to wait and see the rest!

Meeting a Man...Oh the Pressure

{Julie Wilhite Photography via Style Me Pretty Texas}

This post is for all the beautiful, single gals out there. Whether you are in a relationship, newly dating or browsing, this post is for you.

The other day I was walking into the grocery store with Rusty when we passed a lady with her two sons and daughter. She was getting the little girl loaded into the buggy when I heard her say, "You will need to find a husband first." And just like that the start of a cycle begins.

At first, I laughed because the girl was maybe 6 and her mom was just joking. I knew that but I started browsing the produce section and really thinking about what she said. This really is how it begins, I thought. I can remember from an early age what it was like feeling pressured to find "the one." My grandmother is 100% a southern, sassy belle. She was married by the ole ripe age of 19. I remember dating a boy in high school who my grandmother just knew I was going to marry. She would tell us all the time. Update: We didn't get married.

I feel as women the world around us is constantly changing. Not as many women get married in their teens anymore. The latest census shows that the median age of women getting married is 25. My grandmother would have a stroke if she knew. Women are building independent lives before deciding to settle down. Women are more prominent in business and politics. Women are amazing.

With all this marriage chit chat, I just feel so many ladies feel pressured to settle down. In college I had a core group of 5 gals that I always hung around with. Within a year of graduating college or soon after we graduated college, they were all married. All of them minus me of course. I was in a new relationship with my now husband but we still had things we wanted to do before making things official. I know each of my girlfriends are in happy, healthy relationships and that was the next step. For many girls leaving college it is the "thing" to do.

Now back to the lady at the grocery store, I know she meant no harm to her daughter but the doubt in your self builds. When all of your friends are getting married, you start to question what you are doing. Your mom is asking who you are dating. Your grandmother is wanting to get you monogrammed towels but needs to know your unknown husbands last name. There is a lot of pressure. Guess what? Take your time. Be you. I know that is easier said than done. I know that when everyone is doing it you think you should too but wait for him. I 100% guarantee there is someone special for you. Yes, it may takes years but wouldn't you rather give your whole heart to the right man than be unhappy with the wrong one? If you want to travel before marriage, do it. If you want to get a job (which I recommend) before getting married, then do it. Now is the time that you get to spoil yourself. Treat yourself.

You will find him. I know you are going to roll your eyes at this next statement but he will show up when you least expect it. He may already be a friend and you just haven't seen him in "that way" yet. He may be a complete stranger that you bump in to at the bar (me and R). Regardless, he loves you and is going to be the best match for you. He will compliment you. He will balance out your personality. He will make you smile daily. He will make life that much richer.

So push all the pressure aside. Do not let your mom, sister, friend or crazy co-worker make you feel bad for being single or unhitched. Just smile at them and nod. They were single once too. Let them know that you still get lots of you time. Let them see how successful you are. Do not let their words or the pressure of womanhood bring you down. If you do, it is okay. There will be days when you do wish you were married. Just know that is your heart preparing for your amazing future. You deserve bliss and one day it will happen. Until then celebrate who you are and the surreal life you are living. Celebrate your accomplishments. Celebrate your happy heart.

The good news is once you are married, the pressure is off. Well, it is off for about two weeks before the baby questions begin. Ah, life.

Real Love v. Book Love - Yeah, There is a Difference

{Braedon Photography via Green Wedding Shoes}

Tis true. Regardless of the mixed reviews, I have started reading 50 Shades of Grey. Now before you close this out tired from all the talk I wanted to share a few thoughts about the book and relationships. Gasp, another relationship talk. Buckle up folks and I won't give much away for those who haven't read the book yet.

I purchased the first book on my snazzy Kindle and read it in 3 days and now the second one in two. If I could have my head in a book, all day every day, I would. It really does make me happy. I read these books and they make you happy. They make you turned on. They make you a hopeless mess. They make you cry. Now while it did take a while for me to get into the book (for literary folks...it is bit rough/choppy), I love how well developed the characters become.

Surprised I am talking about such a steamy book on the blog? Well while I do find the book seductive (sorry mother) I also find it somewhat funny. Funny you say? I do find it funny because it is not all that realistic. Now hear me out. For years I have been reading romance novels. I have read stories of strong women who just happen upon the most incredible men. They fall in love. They over think love. They almost give up. They get back together with an exciting scene most involving something dangerous. They realize they can never be apart. They profess their love and live happily ever after.

I am the first to admit that when I started reading romance novels 24/7 I felt like I was given the wrong representation of real life love. Yes, I believe in the fairy tale but I also believe in what really happens in life. My relationship with Rusty has definitely been amazing. I love my husband and his heart but that doesn't mean that there were hard times to get where we are today. I also know realistically there will be more hard times ahead.

I want every woman to feel warm and fuzzy when it comes to her lover but I also want woman to be truthful. Every relationship is different. Make sure you know real life from book love. Book love is meant to be all roses while real love may have a few hiccups. While I want us woman to be smart, I do think the book has a great portrayal of not bringing past relationships into the mix (i.e. Mrs. Robinson). It isn't helpful. I also think the book is accurate when it comes to mixing lives. It takes a bit of an adjustment bringing two lives together.

While I like how intimate the book is some of it is just not real life. Yes, we have moments where behind closed doors is hot (most of the time). Yes, sometimes life is dramatic. Yes, sometimes we argue with our other half. Just remember that your relationship is your own. Don't compare it. Don't start it with guidelines in mind. Keep it fresh and if you want to be intimate on top of a desk....do it. Just make sure it is sturdy. Ha! Keep yourselves happy y'all.

I am the gal who observes things. Just hear me out...

1. They never brush their teeth. Well technically she borrows his toothbrush but lets be honest morning breath is not a turn on. I am more than happy to overlook it but it happens.

2. Do they ever pee? Just curious.

3. Time moves so much slower. They always have time to do stuff and the day just ticks by. I am lucky to have enough time in the day to shower, check my email, work and get 4 things checked off my to-do list.

4. Christian Grey is really wealthy. Just an observation. Really wealthy y'all but in the book he doesn't seem like he works that much. I mean he does work on Saturdays but I am a small business owner who works on Saturdays and I still don't make $100,000/hour. Some wedding video that would be.

5. They have sex up to 4 or 5 times a day. Who has time for that much sex? Who has enough energy for that much sex? How do they get anything done?

6. They always cook the best food. Stir fry. Salmon cakes. Chocolate cake. Lots of wine (which technically they didn't cook). I want to live in a love stories book kitchen.

7. The bicker...a lot. At times I find it exasperating and I flip forward a few pages just to escape it. I would tell any girlfriend or guy friend to take a chill pill if they argued that much with there significant other.

8. This is about to get personal but sometimes the sex and its location just make me chuckle. I am the first to admit that I find it exhilarating to be intimate with my husband but I also know that the time and location are real.

9. Does she ever style her hair? It just comes together perfectly every day. That just isn't fair. If only you could see my hair now?

I think that if you want romance all the time you have to give it all the time. Each person is different in relationships. Make sure you are with someone who makes you happy, romance book or not. Love is sweet and sensual but we also have to go to the grocery store and fill up our cars with gas.

See mom. I didn't talk to much about s-e-x. Yeah, I planned on talking about my September goals but who knew this book would make it into a post. What are your thoughts on the book? How is book love and real life love different to you? Now who will star as the all together steamy Christian Grey for the movie?

Q & A: Finding Happiness in Yourself & Relationships

It is a funny thing. I do love to blog about weddings and flowers and pretty but I get the biggest response about relationship posts. I know because it surprises me too. I am absolutely no expert on love but I have lived a little. I have also dated. I also have found an amazing man to spend my life with.

So the biggest thing that I have to catch up on for Thursday Q & A is relationship topics. I will try my best but can I repeat again that I am no expert. Sound advice time.

Q. I have been with the same man for quite sometime. Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am not. I seem to be in a funk. How do I know if I am sticking around for the right reasons? What do I do?

A. First, I hope I don't talk your ear off. I can confidentially say that each and every relationship is different. I feel your decision on what to do in your relationship is specific to you and may not be the same for another couple. You should also understand that your relationship is 100% different than everyone else so do not compare. Smiling pictures of a couple on Facebook doesn't equal a happy couple. Trust me.

Now that you are not comparing yourself to someone else you have to understand the next thing I am about to say. I have said it on this blog. I have preached it to my friends. I have learned it myself. I have a t-shirt that says it. Well maybe not that last thing but understand this: You cannot be the best you or offer all of yourself to another person until you are confident and happy with who you are and know what you stand for. I will say this until I am blue in the face. If you are not a confident woman, if you do not know who you are, if you do not have a sense of what your beliefs are then you will not be able to be 100% in a romantic relationship and that relationship will not satisfy you either. Yes, your sense of self will adapt over the years. Yes, your taste in style will change but you are who you are. You should be open to growth but regardless of all these factors, you should be happy.

If you are dating: Are you not seeing eye to eye with your other half? Are you enjoying your time with him or her? Are you smiling and feeling happy? Sometimes you think you are but I ask you to look a little deeper. If you are happy 100% I am so happy for you. If you are struggling, this relationship may not be for you. Here is the kicker: only you know the answer to whether your relationship is the right relationship. Be true to yourself. I was the gal whose best friends all got marries or engaged after college. I could have done that with the guy I was dating but thank goodness I didn't! I would have missed out on Rusty. You decide your fate and that should include a really good and dreamy guy.

{Benj Haisch via Green Wedding Shoes}

If you are married: This one is hard. I couldn't imagine marrying someone who didn't make me laugh 24/7 but I also know people change. Remember that things will change in your relationship but it should be for the better. Your taste for life may change but with that, your partner should be right there with you. If you aren't happy, try talking with a mutual party like a mentor or counselor. I believe that if both parties try your marriage can be a happy one. We are women and we are emotional. When you have a spat with your husband try to remember that it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we think things are worse than they are. If things are truly bad then you need to try every possible resource to improving your partnership. You both should be happy and healthy!

SO what if the problem is not your relationship but your happiness? I understand. I know first hand what it is like to struggle with what you want to do in life. A few ideas for finding happiness: write down what you enjoy and go from there. If your list involves taking pictures maybe photography could be a new hobby. Try volunteering. I can guarantee that will bring you joy. A mother of three? Start a mommy and baby coffee house date or a book club. Find your outlet. I think sometimes we know what would make us happy but it may scare you a bit. It may seem bigger than you. That is good! Fight fear. Remember that you deserve happiness but you also have to be patient and strong when it comes to finding your niche.

I hope that this post makes sense. I truly believe that every woman can be smiling and that is what makes you beautiful ladies. Happy Thursday!

Lovebird Spotting: Candace and Myron

I am beyond thrilled to share my July 8th couple with you. I first met Candace and Myron last September when this sweet couple approached my booth at the San Antonio Bridal Extravagnza. I was still very new to Texas and wedding videography. They were so kind and from the moment we started talking I knew this two were the perfect fit for me. About two weeks later, the papers were signed and I was an official vendor for their big day.

Candace and Myron are probably the sweetest people I have ever met. They are uplifting, tender hearted and special. I am so excited for their big day! Now for how these two met and fell in love:

1. Tell me how you two met.

Shockingly enough Myron and I met on Christian Mingle. I never would’ve though in a million years that I would meet the man that God designed with me in mind on an online website. My mom encouraged me to get on the site due to my tedious schedule as a 1st year school teacher by day and a grad school student by night. She knew I didn’t have much time to date so she suggested that I try out something different. I signed up for the 8 month membership and browsed different profiles in the first couple of months. When I didn’t find any one I was interested in I took a bit of a break from this online site. In January I got on the site and browsed through different profiles and saw Myron’s picture. I just loved his smile and when I read his profile I was intrigued on how he spoke about his son. I decided to be bold and sent him a “smile” in return of the smile his profile gave me when I looked at it. He responded immediately and sent a “smile” back. We began e-mailing each other on the site and ended up exchanging numbers. We texted each other non-stop 24/7.

2. How was your first date? What did you do?

Well it had been a week of Myron and I texting and we hadn’t spoken on the phone once. It was a Friday evening after work and Myron texted me stating that he knew it was probably soon but he would love to see me this evening. Excited and nervous I said sure and hurriedly rushed home to get ready. He wouldn’t disclose the location of our date but did tell me to wear comfortable shoes because we would be having some fun. I decided to wear a cute top, jeans and some nice boots. I arrived at his apartment and for the first time I had to call so he knew I made it there. He gave me the gate code, directions to his place and I waited in my car for about 30 seconds tops. He came out and sweetly greeted me with a handshake and hug. He opened the door for me and helped me in his Tahoe. He was very talkative so I could tell he was nervous but he asked tons of questions as he was trying to get to know me. We finally made it to our dating destination…….Dave & Busters. Did someone say FUN, FUN, FUN? As soon as we were seated I was impressed. Myron didn’t even touch his menu. He continued to ask questions about me and kept complete eye contact. He was such a gentleman at all times even when the waiter came to the table and he always ensured that I got what I needed. The conversation we had was great. There was a lot of learning about each other and much laughter. Next, the games began…literally. We played ski-ball, basketball, air hockey, and even had a blast in the fake roller coaster ride. I enjoyed his company so much. What a fun first date!!


(P.s. Dave and Buster's is huge in Texas. People love that place. I haven't been but hope to!)

3. What is your favorite memory as a couple?

My favorite memory as a couple was in celebration of my 25th birthday. Myron surprised me with a getaway trip to Dallas. He took me to Embassy Suites and as soon as we arrived he told me that we needed to walk to the second floor where the spa was located. I was treated to a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure and a tasty lunch with champagne. After my special treatment, Myron brought me back to the hotel room and it was decorated with fresh rose petals, balloons and an “I Love You” picture. We had a great time swimming at the hotel pool and hanging out on the balcony watching a free baseball game. This was truly a fond memory that we will always treasure together.

4. How did he propose? 

As a school teacher I have a lot of training to attend prior to the first day of school. August 17, 2011 was no different. Myron’s father and step mother were coming to meet my parents in San Antonio that evening. I got out of training late and was going to have to rush to my parents’ house. When talking with my mother she told me to wear a nice shirt but I told her I was too tired to do that. After quick contemplation I knew I didn’t want to disappoint my mom so I grabbed a nice shirt from my apartment and headed to San Antonio. When I arrived I changed my shirt and tried to relax before Myron’s parents came over. When Myron arrived he was dressed very nice, which was already his norm. Our parents introduced themselves and we sat and talked with each other, just getting acquainted. My mom began to talk about Myron and I and how blessed she felt about our relationship and how family is very important. In mid sentence Myron interrupted her and said, “I have an announcement to make.” I gave him an awkward glare because he cut off my mom and then I had no clue what the announcement was. Myron looked at me and said, “Candace I love you very much.” I told him that I love him too. During this time I noticed my mom sliding the video camera to Myron’s half brother and I began to freak out. I knew what was about to happen. Myron got up from the bar stool and got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. With much excitement I told him yes of course. Family members began hugging each other in bliss. August 17th was definitely a day to remember.

{Images: Clark Patterson}

5. Details about your wedding. Date, color scheme, theme, location… 

Our wedding will be taking place on July 8,2012. We are getting married at Granberry Hills on the Gardenside. Our colors are pool blue and silver. We don’t have a specific theme set for our wedding.

And lastly Candace's advice: 

Do as much as you can after you get engaged to alleviate stress of all the details involved. Get your fiancé involved to help out. If he is ready and willing don’t deter him from that. If he’s not, remind him that it is both of you that are in the wedding and his involvement is important to you. Go to pre-marriage counseling. It helps you address any issues that at times are not brought up in your normal relationship routine. Pray together! There will be a lot of trials and tribulations that will come your way but prayer with your mate is very important. Last, but not least...enjoy the process, it can be tons of fun!

I told you they are great! I cannot wait to show you a few treats from their day. Happy Tuesday friends!

Q & A: How Can I Get Him to Help More?

Elizabeth Messina via 100 Layer Cake

So Thursday is already here. Sorry I was not around yesterday. I have been a tad under the weather lately. Apparently no rest and over doing things results in feeling yucky. Who would have thought that?

Typically I post a Q & A session on Friday mornings. Lately I have received so many kind comments on Q & A posts. Sometimes it is weird to know people are reading this blog. Yes, that is the whole point but when people let me know they are it kind of throws me. Thursday will now have a Q & A session so that Friday can be light and fluffy with Love Song Friday. The post may cover relationships, money, clothing, happiness, weddings or whatever your heart desires. Surprisingly the favorite question sessions have been focused more on relationships than wedding questions. Planning brides do not fret. I still plan to tackle those tough questions about lighting, cakes and bouquets.

For every woman you are in some kind of relationship. Regardless of where you are in life, whether planning your big day or 10 years married, we all go through similar situations. Now I am no relationship expert but I do know a thing or to about dating, love and life. I figure if I can help then why not?

Today's question is for any woman, wife, girlfriend or bride. Let's see, that covers every type of womanly species.

Q. How can I get my significant other to help more around the house?

A. Ladies and possibly 1 % of gentlemen, we have all dealt with this. Your husband comes home from work and wants dinner done. Don't forget the clean clothes and freshly dusted house. Sometimes I think our spouses or significant other doesn't mean to be an added stress but it can come across that way. Now this post is not a rant but before we continue any further if you are in a relationship now where the man does not help you around your house these are the best options for you. If you are married with this problem completely disregard these next two points and skip to the bottom.

1. Ask him for help. Kindly talk with him about pitching around the house a bit more. Be positive and uplifting. A loving man will agree to help. Do not nag. Stress how pitching in around the house will result in more time for you two to spend together or more time for him playing video games. Yes, the last thing may make you roll your eyes but regardless kindly ask for help.

2. If he continues to not help or is unresponsive, evaluate your relationship. Ladies, this is the man you are going to be with forever. This period you have dated is just a glimpse into your future. If no changes are made and no help is given, then know there is someone better. Plain and simple. Yes, that is harsh but you deserve a man who is going to give you their best. If talking to him a few times (kindly and encouraging) doesn't work and he shows no improvement you really should consider your future. Chances are there are serious issues in other areas of your relationship as well.

But Katie you can't be serious? Why yes I can. There is a man who can help you. I am not saying that he should do the laundry and mop the floors but he can help you dry the dishes and take out the trash. Times have changed. In the past woman did everything...and I mean everything. When we first moved here I did everything as well but I also didn't have a job. A man who is willing to help around the house is a form of respect. Every relationship needs equal respect to be healthy.

Now for the women who are married with a husband who is lagging behind, try these simple methods:

1. Again talk to him. There is a difference between communicating and nagging. If you need help with that I can give you assistance. Politely ask him. Shouting or pushing him continually will result in him never wanting to help. It helps to associate completed house work with how it will benefit him and you. Let him know how much you need him and his manly help.

2. Post-its. Write one word down and put it right where he can see it. Write DVD and put it near the TV so that he knows to pick up the DVD's that may be lying around. Don't take this as a free pass to write paint, cut, sweep, mop, dust, wash, mow and other tasks all over the place. Just to throw him off the post-it trail throw in a fun message every once in a while. A perfect example of a fun post-it in one word: lingerie. Promise he will like that.

3. Assign chores. Don't be afraid to write down what needs to be done every week and agree upon chores that each spouse will complete. It may seem like a small child getting their chore list but if you both know when things need to be done and who is doing what it makes for a smoother week and happier home.

4. Treat yourself. When it comes to yard work Rusty and I break up responsibility. He typically mows and I pull weeds. Regardless we work hard to get the job done...together. Afterwards we always treat ourselves. It may be a movie or a DQ blizzard but reward conquering your large tasks that just need to get done.

Regardless of how helpful he may be right now, ladies you must remember that men sometimes forget. Helping around the house is not natural for a majority of them. It takes time too. Always encourage him. Let him know how grateful you are for him. They put up with us!

Hope you find this post uplifting and not a drag. I want to encourage you and offer healthy solutions versus solutions that just don't work. If you have other suggestions, comment below! As for more questions, keep those coming too! I love answering your questions! Happy Thursday! :)

P.S. The picture posted at the top is just a peek at an insanely spicy and fabulous engagement session on 100 Layer Cake. Check out the rest for a little pick me up! Just click here friends!

Making Your Marriage A Priority

Thursday it is! Happy day friends. I am glad that you stopped over. Hopefully you are on your lunch break, coffee break, run to Sonic break, grabbing a kit kat break or ignoring your pile of work break. You get the point. Really any type of break will due right now. We all need those breaks in our busy schedules. I know something that will help relax you. See below.

Ryan Ray Photography via Wedding Chicks

Doesn't that picture make you want to pack your bags and go on a little getaway. Rusty and I did that this past weekend. It was long overdue and just what we both needed. It was time for us to get back to us and take the time to smile about those little moments. Here I am again talking about life after your wedding. I hope that you do enjoy reading these types of posts. I recently read an article that has been making the rounds about 15 things for your marriage. It made me laugh because I start posts with specific topics to then have a better article written by someone else come along. That is okay. I will still write.

I may be still technically new to marriage (1.5 years) but I have learned a lot. Rusty has taught me a lot and shown me what patience really is. I have a good husband. I could probably write a book on priorities in your marriage let alone making sure your marriage is the biggest priority but I will keep it to just a few things. These things are things that I have rediscovered, learned or reaffirmed. Regardless of these points you must take care of yourself and your happiness before you can make someone else happy. Shall we begin?

1. Set a date. This is probably the hardest thing that Rusty and I struggle with. Whether it is your vacation or just a two day trip, picking a date to go is hard for us. I have a problem saying no to others. We also let other peoples plans affect our schedule. Take the time to sit down and pick a week or a day to spend it together. Date night is important. Vacation's together are important. Invest time together.

2. Intimacy matters. I normally don't ever mention sex on the blog but today I am. First for everything, right? Being intimate with your spouse is beyond important. I know for women sometimes it isn't always about rolling in the sheets so make the most of the lingering glances, hand holding and sweet forehead kisses. My husband is the best at forehead kisses.

3. Do it Yourself. I have to be honest. I am a perfectionist. I am slowly learning to not knit pick. I do have a certain way I like to fold clothes but if Rusty does it himself versus me doing it than I need to be grateful. If it is something that will drive me nuts I do it myself. I am learning that somethings my husband will just never enjoy doing. I can do those things and trade off a few things that he would like better. Remember the things he does without you asking. He provides. He gets the oil changed. He mows the yard. He lets me shop. He is a good man.

4. Affirmation. Watch what you say and think about it before you say it. Positive words can move mountains in your life.

Gals, just like anything else in life if you don't make something a priority it gets left behind. It you don't make fitness a reoccurring thing your body shows it. Marriage is the same way. If you don't water your love fern (thank you How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) then it won't grow into something lush and beautiful. Well, if ferns are your thing and all. Go with your favorite flower if they aren't. Always remember what a blessing it is to be married and spending your life with your best friend. That is all the rainbows and glitter that I have for today.

Keeping that Spark

Good morning sweets! We are rolling right into Tuesday. Rusty and I recently celebrated our three year anniversary of meeting. We are also a few short days away from our two year engagement anniversary. We are big fans of October (wedding month and Jane's birthday) and April (we met plus engagement time). I know I have said it before but Rusty really is my other half. He knows my needs and fulfills them. I am starting to work 5 days a week at River City which means more balancing of home, office work, blogging, planning Rachel's wedding and editing for Lovebird Productions. We talked about more hours and Rusty is just so encouraging. After our talk I went to fold laundry and without me asking he came to help. You may be wondering how is that groundbreaking? I don't know about your house but up until today I worked three half days a week and was home two full days. There is no reason for him to help with laundry because I always had time to do it. Today he realized how full my plate is and knew he needed to help out. That is why my husband is amazing. I am not saying things are always peachy but I cannot complain one bit.

With all this laundry talk I thought I would talk about a topic that I think so many couples are just not willing to do anymore. Guys, I have said it before but marriage can be hard. Not every day is glitter and rainbows but the occasional hard times can never outweigh the good. My mom told me that some mornings you have to wake up and decide to make your marriage work while other days it is pure bliss. I thought we could talk about a few things to help keep that spark lit. List time...

1. Tell him your favorite qualities about him. I love reaffirming Rusty. He is a confident man and extremely good looking. Well, to me he is very handsome! Even though he is confident it is nice to express the qualities I love about him. He is hard working, honest, brave, funny and one of a kind. I know how much I like to hear how much he loves me so getting to tell him the same thing is a blessing.

2. Don't let date night be an option. Whether it is once a week or once a month, make time to be with each other. Take moments out of your hectic life to disconnect from your phone, stop answering emails and pay attention to one another. Have dinner around the dinner table. Go to the movies. Go parking. ha! Just kidding about that last one...kind of.

3. Laugh together. I cannot explain how important this point is to your marriage. We do argue. Every couple will. We do not always agree but we do love to laugh together. Not only is my husband hysterical but the jokes he makes become our inside jokes. Have I mentioned how much I love inside jokes with him? Am I bragging about him too much yet? Sorry I get carried away. I am lucky. Life can be hard and tough but laughter really is the best medicine.

4. Surprise each other. I am not a big fan of surprises but I love to surprise Rusty. Maybe I don't like surprises because I always figure them out. I love giving Rusty a fun gift he has been talking about or making his favorite dish out of the blue. Surprises are fun and keep you guessing!

5. Respect one another. No explanation needed. You have to respect the one you are with. Give him a reason to respect you and he will. You must also show that same respect. You each bring something different to the relationship so learn to love that about one another.

6. Slow dance. Rusty and I did this last night. It may feel funny at first but then it turns into something really sweet. I love slow dancing to our first dance from our wedding. It brings back happy memories and happy tears. Yeah, I tend to cry when reminiscing living life.

7. Don't forget the little things. Plain and simple. Take the time to do little gestures of love. Take 5 minutes to write a kind sticky note to leave on the mirror. One of my favorite things to do is stop at the bakery and buy two cupcakes. It may sound silly but we love cupcakes. We get to have a little dessert after dinner. A little gesture makes you smile and goes a long way.

8. Do what it takes. You made vows. People these days are just giving up. You are deserve a happy marriage but you also have to give to get.

I know these are things you might already do but at least take the time to love your other half tonight. Send them a text saying, "You are the best!" or buy them frozen yogurt (clears throat...Rusty). Marriage can be hard but no matter how hard it is at times, the benefits and love from your happy, healthy marriage are beyond worth it. Celebrate your sweetheart!

Lovebird Spotting: Lindsey and Joseph

I am beyond excited to introduce you to my March 17th couple! Warning: Lindsey is gorgeous. 100% naturally beautiful. Lindsey contacted me a few months ago about filming her wedding. From the beginning she has been so sweet and a lot of fun! We met in a round about way. She is friends with two of my sorority sisters and we met years ago when I was still a tot in college. Fast forward to now when my friends passed along my information and Lindsey contacted me. I couldn't more excited about filming her big day!

As I was pulling this post together I began reading her answers to my bridal interview questions. Her and Joseph have something special. After you read their story you will be just as smitten by these two and excited about their future as I am. Normally I wait to show you the pictures last but my goodness this couple is just too pretty. I thought I would sneak one in sooner.

1. Tell me how you two met.

We actually credit our little sisters. They were in the 6th grade, best friends, and had been scheming for some time to get us together. It didn’t really work out as soon as they’d hoped; Joseph was in school at Fayetteville and I had a boyfriend but they never gave up. Joseph moved to Jonesboro, things ended between myself and the other guy, and their plan began to unfold as they’d hoped. My mom and little sister, Madelyn, had been at the mall one Saturday, looking for a sixth grade graduation dress. I met up with them a few hours into their shopping and began venting to my mom about the terrible morning I’d had. In the middle of my rant, Madelyn suddenly needed some new shoes from Gearhead Outfitters, a local outdoor clothing store, where Joseph just happened to work. Since Mom and Madelyn had been at the mall, Madelyn knew that Joseph was working that day and pulled the “I need some new shoes” just to get me in the store with Joseph. Needless to say, it worked. We struck up a conversation, realizing that we’d actually had a class together and had never spoken. I ended the conversation by saying that I had to get back to shopping with my family and that I was frantically searching for some wedges. Of course, Joseph didn’t know what I was talking about and so asked what wedges were. I told him that they were just a type of shoe, he wished me luck on finding them, and we said “goodbye,” without him asking for my number!!! I found my wedges a couple hours later and wanted to give him another chance to get my number, so I went to his store to show him what wedges were and thankfully he asked for my number that time. A few days into dating, he confessed that that he’d felt like kicking himself for not asking for my number the first time I was in the store but was glad I was concerned about his not knowing what a wedge was, in turn, giving him another chance. Just a few weeks later, we attended our little sisters’ sixth grade graduation together, as a couple, and I wore my new wedges!

2. How was your first date? What did you do?

He took me out to dinner but we never ate! We ended up talking through dinner, neither one of us wanting to be rude to begin eating while the other one was talking. So we got our food to-go and rented a movie. We ended up talking through the movie, as well, and until 4am! We both knew after the first date that we’d found our “one!”

3. What is your favorite memory as a couple? 

We had only been together for one month when Joseph left for an entire month. He’d had this NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School) trip planned months before we met. According to me, he went to Wyoming to climb a mountain and live outside for a month with very little food and no bathing. But it was a mountaineering course (Joseph is very outdoorsy- which I LOVE!) that he’d wanted to do for years and absolutely loved it. We both had doubts while he was gone, as there was no way for us to communicate during that month, that we would still like one another when he came back. But our favorite memory as a couple, besides the proposal, was the night he returned and we saw each other in the airport. We both knew at that moment that our feelings had only grown stronger for one another and we were so happy to see each other!

4. How did he propose?

It was all a total surprise to me. He told me that we were going on a date and how to dress because we would be outside, but that was all that he told me. He’s very romantic and has always taken me on new, adventurous dates and weekend getaways, so I didn’t think any thing about it. It was just another Saturday date to me. Which is why I didn’t understand Joseph’s stress level that Saturday morning when it was raining outside. I kept telling him, “It’s not a big deal, I’m sure it will stop by this afternoon, and if it doesn’t, we can just do something else.” HAHA! He took me to Memphis to the Dixon Gardens, which is a lovely, large botanical garden-like place with a museum. There was a symphony playing that night in the gardens and he’d packed a picnic for us, which I so obliviously thought he’d just thrown together last minute. He kept trying to get me walk around the gardens with him, but I told him several times that I was really hungry and those stuffed olives were just too good to put down! I ate for so long, that my legs ended up falling asleep, so we had to wait for my legs to regain feeling before we ventured out into the gardens. This particular night was evidently a family-friendly night as there were hundreds of kids running around throughout the gardens. I later found out that he had tried several times during our walk to propose but then a kid would pop up! When we finally had some privacy, he finally proposed, as two little girls were taking turns peeking around a tree. I didn’t believe it was actually happening because we’d had several talks about how we would wait until we were finished with school and had “big people” jobs and I’m still in school. So as he was proposing, I just kept saying, “Are you serious? I don’t believe it! No way!” over and over. I can’t tell you any thing he said to me that day but we were both crying and I said “Yes!”

5. Details about your wedding. Date, color scheme, theme, location…

We are getting married at First United Methodist Church in Jonesboro, AR and our reception will be at the Cooper Alumni Center on Arkansas State University’s campus. It just happens to fall on St. Patrick’s Day but it is the weekend before my spring break in school and we are going on our honeymoon during spring break. My bridesmaid’s dresses are a light sage green (not intentionally) and my flowers will be all white. We are pretty traditional, so our decorations will reflect that. But we did decide to have a little fun with our wedding date being St. Patty’s Day and will be having a green cake!

And lastly Lindsey's advice:

Get addresses for invitations from your families really early. That was the only thing that really stressed me out- having a lot of new addresses still coming in within one month before the wedding and having to print envelopes, put the invitations together, and send them out so late (I felt). Otherwise, it is just such a special time so enjoy planning! It really does fly by. Also, let other people help that offer to help. So many of my friends and their family had connections to people and things (decorations, florist, cake baker, etc.) I would have never known about had I not talked to them about all my plans. They all made planning so much easier on me! 

I know. She is wonderful. I love her spirit! Just reading these questions and answers lets you see just how happy Joseph and Lindsey are and how much they cherish their relationship. I know I brag all the time about having fabulous brides and Lindsey fits right in! I cannot wait for their big day! Their engagement pictures were taken by the talented Liz Boren of Simply Stated Photography.

And my favorite....

Photo Source: Liz Boren via Simply Stated Photography

Love in Hollywood

Celebrities. I have a confession. Ever since I was in high school I have been a tabloid junkie. I love E! News, US Magazine and Wetpaint. Yes, most people call that junk and I understand why. Sometimes I even roll my eyes at myself. It seems like lately all the headlines are about celebrity couples that are divorcing. Now I tread on this topic lightly because you never know the history of the relationship or their situation but marriage in Hollywood seems so short lived. Recently Kim Kardashian was married 72 days. 72 days. I don't think I even had all my thank you notes completed or wedding gifts put away in 72 days. Like I said who knows the real reason behind celebrity divorces?

One couple that have separated is Heidi Klum and Seal. When I saw this I was so sad. The sadness is in result to feeling like you know these people (durn tabloids) and the fact that this effects their whole family, kids included. We all know that it takes an effort for any relationship to work and thrive. Sometimes I wonder how stars view marriage? Do they really try to make it work? Do they try every type of possible solution before calling it quits? These may be questions that remained unanswered until I get that first sit down interview with Heidi.

I thought we could take a look back at my favorite couples that have parted ways and celebrate the ones who I hope never split up.

Wish They Were Still Together:

Brad + Jennifer

Photo Source: US Magazine

Nick + Jessica

Photo Source: US Magazine

Heidi + Seal

Photo Source: Radar Online

Hope They Last Forever:

Kelly + Mark

 Photo Source: US Magazine

Faith + Tim

 Photo Source: US Magazine

Jennifer + Ben

 Photo Source: US Magazine

Beyonce + Jay-Z

Photo Source: US Magazine

Katie + Rusty

Total joke but I thought it was funny!

I threw in this video just for fun...

Vera Wang Does it Again

If you have read this blog at least twice you know that I have a small love affair with Vera Wang. Well, more like a big love affair. She is brilliant and unbelievably driven.

She creates stunning gowns, clothes, accessories, perfume, shoes & handbags. This woman does everything.

Everything.

This past fall Vera struck again when she started creating a jewelry line at Zales. I may be late to the game but I was just getting around to looking at her collection. Just like every other thing Vera touches, the jewels are fabulous. One thing I love about her is that she creates something for everyone. If you want to spend $10,000 on a diamond she's got it. If you want to spend less, you can do that too.

Let's take a look at some of my favorites:

Price: $3,500 Photo Source: Vera Wang LOVE Collection

Price: $3,300 Photo Source: Vera Wang LOVE Collection

Price: $10,000 Photo Source: Vera Wang LOVE Collection

Le Sigh for Vera. She also adds a pretty sapphire to each ring. Thank you to Vera Wang for ambition and impeccable style. We would be lost without you. For more on the entire collection click here.

Have you seen the collection? Which ring is your favorite? I would love to hear your thoughts on the collection. Happy Tuesday friends!

Kendall Plantation: Southern Charm and Then Some

A few months ago I introduced you all to a new venue being built in the hills of wine country in this post. Kendall Plantation was still being constructed but was projecting completion and their first wedding for this past October. Talk about pressure and a brave bride but one look at the concept of this place and you can understand why she snatched up this venue. It went from this:

To this:

And this:

To this:

And just in case you can't get enough of this sweet southern plantation home:

Photo Source: Kendall Plantation via Facebook

I know. I know. I can't get enough of it either! The photos above were taken at a recent wedding they hosted. I am amazed at the transformation. This venue has stunning views and has plenty of southern charm to go around. They are booking quick so any bride interested better check them out. This weekend alone they have two weddings and a shower! I also got the privilege of meeting the crew of Kendall Plantation at the San Antonio Bridal Extravaganza and they were so kind. For more on Kendall Plantation visit them on Facebook here or check out their website here. Hopefully one day I can film a wedding here! Who knows? I may just go check it out anyway.

What do you think of the finished look of the venue? Would you get married at a southern plantation home? I would love to hear your feedback!

Picking the Perfect Honeymoon

 Photo Source: Fairy Tales Are True

Every day I am constantly brainstorming ideas for this blog when I realized that I have never talked about picking your honeymoon destination (one of top three favorite things involving planning our wedding.) I have discussed picking the perfect dress, selecting your first dance jam (yes jam) and finding your venue but never honeymoon locations. Can you guess how I am going to tell you tips on picking the perfect honeymoon destination? If you guessed a list, well then you get 1,000 points. What do points earn you? Uh a lot of love from me? Candy bars? Well, the points are like Whose Line is it Anyway where the points don't really matter. You are still special in my eyes and really talented at ad-libbing Irish drinking songs.

Onto the list.

1. What is your style? When you think about a vacation what do you envision? Skiing the slopes and hiding in a rustic cabin, traveling scenic streets and visiting historical landmarks or lounging on the beach with a fruity cocktail in hand? Finding your vacation style is important. When you picture a week together what are you going to do? That helps determine the style of vacation that will make your honeymoon unforgettable.

2. Scout out a budget. Yes, most family members will pay for the honeymoon but for most that still requires a budget. Make sure that the vacation and your style correspond with your budget. A two week trip along the California coast may not be realistic. Also remember that for some trips you will need money once you arrive to your destination. Who will cover these expenses? Talk over the budget with your spouse and whomever is helping pay for the trip whether it is you both as a couple or the groom's parents. No matter the size of the budget you can have the perfect trip especially when you follow step #3.

3. Research. I cannot stress this enough. Do not just choose a location because everyone tells you it is great. Look it up! A week's stay at a private resort may not be the trip for you even though cousin Susan loved it. Once you have agreed upon a style, look into what suits you and stays within budget. This trip is all about you. You have the right to have the perfect trip. Hey, you just got married!

4. Remember the seasons. When planning your honeymoon keep in mind the time of year you are getting married. If you want to visit Europe in the warmer/summer months getting married in December does not coordinate. Time and location do matter!

5. To sight see or not to sight see? That is the question. I think this is important when picking a honeymoon. Are you truly wanting to spend your days sight seeing or do you want to spend your days lounging around? If you want a little of both, make it happen. A weeks stay at Disney World may not be for you if you are not wanting to be out and about. Make arrangements for things that you can do as a couple whether touring the streets of Italy or cuddled up in a hammock by the ocean.

6. Travel agent or online booking? Booking online has become the norm. The advantages are that you get to do it from home and it is free (the booking). Make sure that you are selecting the right options. Also call and verify all details once your trip has been booked. The benefits of a travel agent is they take care of everything and I mean everything! They make sure reservations are completed correctly and often times have stayed at a lot of the places they are recommending. The only disadvantage is that you do have to pay for their services. Whichever one you prefer both are great options for making sure your vacay is a-okay. (You are welcome for that little rhyme.)

7. How much luxury are we talking? This may sound silly but it is a good point! If you are wanting to spend time alone in your room make sure you book a hotel that has excellent rooms, room service and plenty of space. If you are wanting to lounge by a pool or beach, how nice are those accommodations? If you are wanting to ski every day, how is the transportation to the slopes? These things do matter. Make sure you pick a hotel or lodging with great reviews and excellent customer care. Do not feel guilty about being pampered! Also look into couple packages. Some destinations offer romantic dinners, spa treatments or private tours. Keep luxury in mind while traveling!

8. Make sure you have enough time. This one is self explanatory. Waiting until the last minute to plan your honeymoon make result in disappointment. Leave enough time to follow the steps above. Like I have mentioned the honeymoon is about you returning to sanity and leaving the taffeta nightmares behind. You are celebrating your first week or weeks as a couple, just you and your husband. Planning your honeymoon is a top priority!

All these things can guarantee that you will have a splendid honeymoon, one for the books actually! Have you started looking for honeymoon destinations? What type of honeymoon are you looking for? Will you be vacationing beach side or touring wine county? I would love to hear from you!