Q & A: What Do You Do When Wedding Planning Is Over?

I have been thinking lately about life after the wedding. For some it means going back to work without having to answer wedding emails on your lunch break. For some it means no more planning and the relief you feel from that. So what do you do after the wedding is over?

{Honeymoon}
Go. Stick your toes in the sand. Drink a fruity cocktail. Get away. You have worked so hard and now it is time to treat yourself. Do things that you typically never have time for. Eat dessert first. Take an extra nap. Stay up late reading.

When Rusty and I went on our honeymoon, we ventured out one morning for breakfast. We wanted to go to the beach but we ended up coming back to our room. We climbed in our big canopy bed and watched movies in bed all day. We even ordered room service for lunch and dinner just so we could relax inside all day. Yes, the beach was 10 steps from our room and every other day we took advantage of that but we needed a day in together. We had never watched an entire movie together until our honeymoon. That day is still one of my favorite memories to date. 

{Donate your time/thoughts to other brides}
You have so much knowledge now that you have planned your own wedding so why not help other brides? Of course make sure they want your help but donate your time. Lift other brides spirits. You know what it is like to struggle with your budget. You know what it is like to cry big crocodile tears from stress. You know what it is like to stay up to late doing DIY projects. Why not help someone else? You are a pro gal!

{Start a blog}
I cannot tell you how many past brides have started a blog while planning or after because of all they learned and would do differently. These blog are successful and personally I think more wedding blogs make the world a bit brighter. One of my favorites is Every Last Detail. Lauren not only started her blog after planning her wedding but she also planned weddings for a while after her big day. She has so much knowledge and continues to amazes me with her encouragement for brides. Go check her out!

{Celebrate no more crazy wedding dreams}
This one is kind of a joke but so true. No more nightmares of forgetting your shoes or showing up to your wedding day and realizing you have no flowers. Sleep peacefully.

{Follow your dreams}
I know that I already mentioned starting a blog but do what makes you happy. Whether it has to do with weddings or absolutely nothing at all. Regardless of your wedding planning experience, smile back on this chapter. It will never come again. You can officially close the door on your planning time and be happy. Rejoice it is over. Continue to do what you love and bless others as you do it.'

What are you looking forward to most when wedding planning is over? Vacation? Work? Start a family? Just now that there is no wrong decision y'all. It is all about being happy!

Image via Kelsey Cherry Photography

Q & A: Dealing with Gray Hair

Today we are taking the title of this post quite literally. I do deal with gray hair. It is surprising to me that at 24 I started to have enough gray hair that coloring my hair was no longer an option unless I wanted to start going silver. While I love silver hair, I still wanted to hold on to blonde highlights a bit longer.

Have you thought about aging? But Katie you are 25 years old and you cannot be serious. More than ever I have really thought about growing older. Not only am I thinking about my age but more about the life I will/am living. One of my biggest goals for 2013 was living more intently and doing more things/actions to make myself happy. That may sound like a bit of a selfish goal but I 100% have loved it. A prime example I was giving to a friend yesterday was painting my own fingernails. I love painting my fingernails. My nail polish collection is colorful and fun. For most of 2012, I was running around like crazy stretching myself too thin. I was afraid to take a few moments for myself. I thought it made me a selfish wife, fur mom, co-worker, family member and friend. This year I have started giving myself a break. If I need 30 minutes of quiet and saying it can wait just to paint my nails, I do it. This is my living intently (among other things). For others it may be growing a business, spending a day without social media, finally planning that family vacation or splurging on those wedges you have been eyeballing for Spring.

So what other steps am I taking to make life sweeter with age? Don't worry. I made you a list.

{Living Intently}
I know we have covered this but it isn't just for me. For years (really since getting married) I have felt guilty. I thought being married meant creating a perfect, clean and exciting home for my husband. When I failed to meet a certain set of standards in my head, I thought I was not succeeding. I was losing myself little by little by taking on too much or letting my negative thoughts get the best of me. While I do strive for a happy household, I am learning that snuggling under the covers for 15 more minutes with Rusty and Jane dog is so much more worth it than tackling that pile of laundry. Here is the thing to understand, that pile of laundry will be there but the passing moments and laughter with your family will pass. Don't let the moment pass. Yes, another one will come that warms your heart but keep adding those moments up. It is worth it.

{Diet and Exercise}
Remember in high school when you could eat Taco Bell, go run laps for soccer practice and never gain a pound? Well I kissed those days goodbye around age 20. Never before have I thought about the things I put into my body like I am now. The things I do today will effect my family, well being and children years from now. You eventually reap what you sow. While I still struggle with emotional eating (curse you emotions), I am putting better servings into my body. It amazes me how much I love veggies and water. Saying I am a vegetarian makes me laugh because growing up I hated vegetables. Many a nights as a kid I sat at the kitchen table after everyone had finished dinner still trying to choke down green beans. Ha! Being healthy is a priority and while every day is not successful, I am 100% trying to be a better me.

{Finances, Investing, Paying It Off}
Rusty and I are making plans y'all. We are paying off debt (more on that here), investing in our future financially and making plans for what we want to do next. It is amazing what we hope to accomplish and the goals we have set. We already are talking our child's college fund and babies are not in the near future. It seems like everything is on our radar right now and that is okay. We are taking one thing at a time and tackling it. It feels good and scary at the same time. Make the proper plans for your future and retirement. It is never too early to start.

{Just Do It...Now}
Whatever it is, do it. Just do it. Want to start a business? You can no matter your experience. Want to start a family? Do it. Want to write a book? Do it. Want to paint your guest bedroom? Do it. Guys, this is our time. If we don't do what sets our heart a fire now when will we do it? Life gets busy but don't let that stop you. Move forward. Press on. Cross it off your list. Do what makes you happy...now.

What are you doing to make your life a little sweeter? Are you investing in your future? And I do not mean just financially but also personally and health wise and fun? I think making good plans for the future is a must but also enjoy your time now.

Image via the fantastic Daniel Holman Photography

Q & A: Do Not Forget Your Wedding Day

Roll out the red carpet because today is Q & A Thursday y'all! I know that by the title you are thinking how can any bride forget her wedding day? That is not the whole meaning behind today's post. You plan for months and then your wedding day rolls around. Are you ready for the day of? One thing I never thought about were my surroundings on my wedding day i.e. making sure things around made me happy, music was playing, everyone was calm, lunch arrangements. These things just never occurred to me. One reader writes:

Q. I am so nervous about our wedding day. Not nervous about getting married (that I am very confident in) but nervous in time constraints and hair appointments and remembering the whole day. Past brides always say the day goes by so quickly. I don't want to wake up and not remember my wedding day. Do you have any tips for making the day more memorable?

A. The best piece of advice is think about your surroundings. Surround yourself with good. Work out the kinks a head of time (even though some will still happen). Take your time. Be still and silent for a moment. Sit. Hydrate. Eat. Be pampered.

My wedding day was one of the best days of my life but I cannot even remember half of it. It goes by in a blink of an eye. One thing I never thought about or planned to the minute was what I would the morning of my wedding. I literally woke up thinking what now? You plan every single detail to then wake up and have your wedding day actually happening. Do not forget to plan for your morning and afternoon. Yes, I made appointments for everyone's hair. Yes, I had all the dresses steamed. Yes, I had the flowers to be delivered mid morning. But what about me? Here are some ideas to get you started:

{Music, sunshine, champagne}
On my wedding day my maid of honor had a cooler full of oj and champagne. I never thought of that. We popped the corks and relaxed. We walked on the lawn where Rusty and I would meet to become husband and wife. I showered. We ate a huge breakfast. One of my fondest memories is when one of my dearest friends mom hooked her iPod up to the loud speaker in our getting ready room. We sang and danced to the best of Michael Buble all day long. I never once thought to plan any of the things above. Yes, some things happened naturally like a big breakfast but think about how you want your day to go. If you want good music, make a playlist. If you want to cheers with your gals, get drinks. Enlist your bridesmaids for fun ideas. Go on a hike. Lay by the pool. Nap. Do what makes you happy, occupies your time/nerves and surround yourself with goodness. Don't forget to plan for your wedding day. I was lucky enough to have people who already thought it through when I 100% forgot.

{Laughter with your gals}
Plain and simple. Laugh with your friends. Spend time with one another. Reminisce about those college days when you stole large pork and bean cans from a fraternity house or the time you threw a fake wedding in your sorority suite. Take in their advice. Throw a little of your own at them. Spend time with those you love.

{Remember as much as you can}
Your wedding day will go so fast. So fast. There are so many things that I just don't remember. It is not intentional but the fact that things happen quickly. You hug a lot of necks. You have a bit of nerves. You are marrying your best friend. This is a celebration of your love and strength as a couple. Every couple I have worked with or been a part of their wedding I pass along one piece of advice: Pull your love aside, just stand quietly and take it in. Your wedding goes by in the blink of an eye and the next thing you know you are leaving the reception at 11 pm ordering food in the Taco Bell drive thru in your wedding gown. (True story. That is another post. Hey, I was really hungry.) Treasure your day because you get it once. Remember it.

Make your surroundings simple and calming on your wedding day. You are the bride so do what makes your heart sing. Remember you overall goal - marry that handsome man who has been  waiting his whole life for you. It is your day!

Lovebird Productions via Emily Alt Photography.

Q & A: 1 Debt + 0 Debt = Y'alls Debt

I decided to go with a pretty picture since today's topic is not fun. Please hear me out. This is one of those we are engaged plus life after marriage posts. It is real. I am inserting myself into this Q & A session. The post includes numbers, money and things that no one likes to talk about. But here goes...

Today's reader wrote:

Q. My fiance and I are set to get married in a few months. We are absolutely thrilled! Other than wedding planning, we have been dealing with combining bank accounts, setting up a joint savings account, make financial plans for the future and debt. My husband has student loans and a lot of them. I don't fault him but it is time for us to face the music and pay them off. Realistically it is going to take 10+ years. We are young and want to have fun but we know with debt we have to be responsible as well. I come to the marriage with no debt so paying off his is hard and frustrating. Any advice on how to put a positive spin on this?

A. Oh girl. I can say I know 100% what you are facing. You are just like me. I met Rusty fell in love, he proposed and two weeks after our proposal I checked his mail box to find the first letter informing him that he owes a lot of money (pesky student loans). I remember sitting down in the parking lot and crying while reading the letter.

You have to understand that Rusty and I came from totally different backgrounds when it came to money. Most couples do but you learn what system and methods work best for you. Let me give you a bit of background on us:

Rusty grew up in a wonderful home with two parents who worked extremely hard so that their kids could play just as hard. Rusty always got great gifts at Christmas, a new bat at the start of each baseball season and Doc Martens. (A little 90's reference never hurt anyone. Ha!) Rusty never had a job during high school because he was very involved with summer sports. He went to college, played collegiate baseball and took a bit longer than most but he graduated and started working. When we met, I was in awe of Rusty because he had a big kid job making a big kid salary while I worked hard hours at a job that paid nothing but I loved it. He didn't pay bills other than rent and utilities when he got his first job.

When I was growing up, I was spoiled. Still am to be perfectly honest. (I know my brother is going to roll his eyes at that last statement.) My parents and grandparents gave me my every whim (almost always) but they reinforced need versus want right from the start. My mom bought me gifts for every holiday i.e. Easter and my closet was stocked with Limited Too everything. I do remember at a young age noticing that my mom worked longer and harder hours than all the other moms. There were even nights that I slept in a hospital bed while she directed the staff in the ICU. I knew that my mom was not only working hard hours because she loved her job but because she wanted to give me the best. I still am in awe of her work ethic and drive to provide for our family. The summer that I turned 12, I started working in a snow cone shack. I loved working. I loved earning my own money. I knew what punching in and out meant at a young age. My family found it important and I loved being grown up. I worked my butt off in high school to get a good scholarship. I applied for local scholarships, got accepted into various colleges but went with the one that offered a full tuition guarantee, tried out for a vocal scholarship and received one plus applied for Journalism scholarships at my university. I worked 20+ hours a week, went to school full time and was active in a wonderful sorority. Man, I am tired just thinking about all that. I left college and got a job working my way up at a news station as a morning producer. I made hardly any money. I lived within my means. I didn't have a credit card. I stayed on budget. I even put a little to savings each month. I loved it.

Fast forward a few months and an engagement later, Rusty and I knew we needed to be aware of the debt he had because...wait for it....it was going to be my debt once we tied the knot. To say I was angry was an understatement. This may make me sound like a brat but my whole life I was raised not to have debt. I was raised that you worked hard but never got anything you couldn't afford out right. My husband didn't live that way. He didn't even have a savings account until we started dating and I forced him to get one. We came from two different backgrounds but my bad attitude didn't make anything better. We sat down and ran a credit check for Rusty. More tears. It was not just one loan but multiple loans all for different things. This was not how I wanted to live my life. I wanted to get married and buy the little house and vacation and shop and live in a fairytale. People, you are not alone. All sorts of people have debts. People lose jobs. People get sick. People have times in their life when they are irresponsible. I get it. The biggest lesson in this post is to realize there is a problem and fight for a solution. A solution equals success in your marriage, finances and life. Your solution and end result is being debt free.

So how did we fight our debt? To be honest, we are still paying on it. We have tried various things and methods to pay off debt. You know once you get married there is not a handbook on how to handle life. But who wants that? What fun would it be if there was an answer for everything? The beautiful thing about life is everyone is different and unique. What worked for Rusty and I may not work for you. I am here to tell you that financial peace is real. I know plenty of people who have and are experiencing it. It is not a mythical creature but a real goal and life for many. Rusty and I have been married for almost 2.5 years and have paid off a total of $35,000+ (a combination of things i.e. student loans, car payments, credit cards) in debt. We are still here and alive. We still have more to pay. We will get there. That day I will probably burn my bra. I don't say that number to brag but to encourage you. I have never had a job where I make more than $25,000 a year and we still manage to do things we enjoy plus live modestly.

With all this talk, where do you start? What can you do? Dry those eyes and write this down, pin it, email it, whatever it takes. You are a partnership. You are one family. You are a sweet couple who has debt but debt doesn't define you. You make the rules. You can do this friends!

{Be Honest}
I held in so much frustration from Rusty over our debt that I blew up at one time. It wasn't pretty. It didn't help anything. Anything. Sit down and talk about it all. Express your feelings the right way. An honest and united front is the only way to get through debt. Want another piece of advice? Sure you do! Once you set things in motion and have expressed your feelings, drop it. Do not bring it up and complain to a girlfriend or co-worker. I am still learning this lesson. Get it out and let it go.

{It Takes Two}
Simple as that. You have to do it together and happily. Be a big girl. You have it in you!

{Make A Game Plan}
This is HUGE! Make goals. Write down things. Sign a contract stating your goals and post it to your fridge. The biggest thing is sticking to this goal. Rusty and I recently redid our budget. I say redid but what I mean is actually stick to it. We use certain aspects of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace though we have never attended a class. We use cash for everything but our bills which we pay online. Each couple is different. I have friends who love Dave Ramsey because he not only teaches you how to pay off debt but also teaches you how to plan for your future i.e. retirement, Roth IRA's and investing. Whether you believe in his principles or not, find your method. Reinforce them. Do what works for you but stick to it. It may take you 10 years of sticking to it but that is worth it compared to your lifetime. Stick to it. Stick to it. Stick to it.

{Attitude Is Everything}
Change your attitude right now. Understand there are going to be times where you are upset your other half or vice versus because of your payments. Guess what? Life happens. Your attitude makes a world of difference. Get over it now. You have to pay it all off anyway. Why not face reality and know that it is something that takes time? Encourage one another. You are in this as a team and not enemies. Push yourselves for excellence. Again, your attitude is everything.

{Celebrate}
This is one of my biggest struggles. Rusty and I will pay something off and move on to the next thing without even blinking. We have a lot of determination but it is okay to celebrate. Whether that means you have dinner out one night or spend the day antiquing, celebrate your accomplishment. That doesn't mean pay something off then celebrate by putting debt back on. If you don't have the money for a nice treat at the time, skip it. We have found it is so important to have a happy moment when the balance shows $0. Enjoy your time together. We have debt but that doesn't mean you have to sit at home. It just means you practice budgeting better and save for each little thing.

We went to New York this year. I struggled really hard with this decision. We have debt but how can we go on a vacation? I kept telling myself we didn't deserve it. We started setting aside money for our trip a little at a time. I researched for hours on how to save. We booked a small apartment on the cheap versus staying right in Times Square. The trade off is we walked more. We didn't mind at all. We had all our meals paid for and cab fare covered from the cash fund we set aside. We treated ourselves to the first vacation we had taken since our honeymoon. Now some may not agree with this but we needed it and once we landed never felt guilty for our trip again. We worked hard to go and the rewards were endless! We even paid it off (i.e. plane tickets and lodging) before we even got there. Be smart but you have to enjoy life.

{You Will Pay It All Off}
There will be an end in sight. I promise. It will come. It may take a long time but complaining or crying or getting in an argument about will not help. You will pay things off. One day the balance will be $0 on your car payment. $0 on your credit card. $0 on your 30 year fixed mortgage. Yes, that can happen. You have to believe it too!

{Watch Out}
Debt is so easy to obtain. This world thrusts fashion, big homes and a lazy lifestyle in our face. Yes, I would love to own a pair of Louis Vuitton but $800+ dollar shoes aren't in the budget. No offense to anyone who has them but I do know the world turns if you don't. You can just pin them. ;)

Be careful what you do, who you associate with and the images you let fill your mind. Debt isn't just student loans but also credit card bills and car payments. Do not think less of yourself because you don't have it all. Secretly, none of us have it all.

{Do You Really Need Another ________?}
Really? Do you need another: dress, pair of shoes, meal out, insert here. I started living with the motto if you don't love it, don't buy it. This also goes with if you don't have the money, don't buy it. Do you really need more? Just think about. Stop impulse buying.

{Reevaluate Every Month(s)}
 We recently sat down to redo the budget. I suggest doing this every month. Each month looks different and holds different needs. For example, our January budget didn't include anything extra but February made us plan for Jane's annual vet check up plus an oil change. Tailor your money for events and circumstances that happen with each new month. Reevaluating helps you refocus on your main objective of being at a $0 balance.

I hope that these tips help. I am in no way an expert but I do know what it is like to be pinching pennies and working to pay off debt. I also know what it is like to take on someone else's debt. The good news is we all survive. You are the biggest factor in paying off debt. Be smart and love life. Be your best. You will get there. As a couple, you will succeed. This is your life together and you deserve bliss. Being debt free is a part of it all. 

Image via Elizabeth Anne Designs by Taylor Lord Photography

Q & A: Your Husband's Birthday Gift?

{Daniel Holman Photography}

I am going to let you guys in on a secret. I married a really good man. And by really good, I mean really, really good. This past weekend we celebrated my husband turning 29. Yes, he is old! I can get away with that joke because I am three and a half years younger.

Rusty and I are tossing around that exciting unflattering word "budget" right now so he had the stipulation that his gift couldn't cost me anything. We are not big gift givers anyway minus Christmas. Since our relationship started, time together away from everything else is a huge gift. We try to do that often. We are also that couple that would rather go do something fun than give gifts.

Rusty's birthday weekend was spectacular! We spent time with friends outside, had a lovely cookout, lounged around, snuggled and played with Jane baby. The weather here has been fabulous which meant I wore shorts and go a little color on my cheeks. Here is a peek at R's ombre birthday cake via instagram. It was really fun to make!

With his rule in mind, I started brainstorming what I could surprise Rusty with. I came up with the idea to do a fun/mushy video for him. It took me an afternoon or two and I bit the bullet by being in front of the camera. It was just as odd as ever but my husband was beyond thrilled . To my surprise he wanted me to share the video with others.

So here it is in all its glory. Yes, I am weird and at times look in pain but he loved it. The best part is it didn't cost me a dime. Happy birthday to my sweet husband!

Oh, Those RSVP cards

Happy Thursday! Strike up the chorus because today we are relishing in Q & A Thursday. Can I just say that I am thankful for reader interaction? It keeps this bloggity blog going. Today we are talking RSVP cards. Who is with me?

Q. Are RSVP cards necessary? I have heard stories of brides who never receive them back which seems like a waste of wedding funds. Do I need them? I need your help!

A. I may not be the best with this one but I sure will try. To be honest, RSVP cards leave a sour taste in my mouth because I am one of those brides who sent them out and maybe half that were sent did not get returned. Some of our dearest friends didn't even send them back. The number of RSVP cards returned to the number of guests in attendance was not even close.

With this being said, RSVP cards are a wonderful thing if put to use. They help you get an accurate head count which helps with cake size, food arrangements and pretty seating charts. But what can you do to get them back?

{Tips for being a sure fire success with RSVP cards}

1. Send it out in plenty of time. This may seem obvious but people need time to send their RSVP back. Your wedding invitations should be sent out two+ months from your wedding date. I have received RSVP cards that need a response in one week. Give your guests time. Most guests have to check their schedule, arrange a babysitter and make travel arrangements. Allow a reasonable time frame on guest's responses.

2. Put a stamp on it. Nothing drives me up the wall more than a wedding RSVP with no stamp. If you want something back, make it as easy as possible. Yes, postage costs money but put that in your budget when setting aside paper good funds. I can guarantee that a majority of your guests will not take the time to stamp the RSVP. Make it easy peasy!

3. Make the card clear. State your intentions clearly. Make sure you provide a response date and if need be, a spot for the guests who will be in attendance {i.e. place cards or seating charts}. Make sure the yes and no option are prominent and easy to understand.

4. Have you considered other options? If you are wary of RSVP cards, try a different route. You can always forgo them all together. If you do, make sure you provide enough wedding seating and food for your guest list. A lot of brides are turning to wedding websites with an RSVP option. It allows guests to do everything online while browsing your site plus saves you postage. Get creative! The great thing about RSVP cards is no one says you have to send them out but in most cases it helps make things a little smoother. Make your own rules!

5. Ask for participation. We attended a wedding this past December where the RSVP card asked for your favorite song request. I thought this was brilliant! It allowed guests to get excited by playing an active role in planning the wedding playlist. It was beyond fun to dance to my song request at the reception. By getting guests active, they are more eager to send back their RSVP. Try an RSVP card with a mad lib or a spot for guests to write their advice for a successful marriage. Guests already feel a part of your special day before it even happens.

6. Make it different. I got a wedding invitation a few years back that was a long (almost 2 feet) with a bunch of fabulous graphics and fonts describing how the couple met. It was so neat! I actually still have it because I was so impressed. Their RSVP card was just as unique and playful. It gave you the option of yes you will be attending with your dancing shoes or no you will not attending the party of the year. The card made me laugh and who would miss the party of the year? Exactly. Make your RSVP unique. Try something that most brides haven't and do not be afraid to mix it up. It can help in getting guests to send them back.

Regardless of what you decide with RSVP cards, remember to not let this little detail frustrate you. Any other bride's to be or married ladies have more advice? Shout it out or comment below. Either one works. Ha! Happy Q & A Thursday!

Photos via The Indigo Bunting

Q & A: Productivity & How I Hate It But Need It

{Me being productive at a young age. It stopped there.}

I know that the title has you intrigued. I am going to let you in on a little secret. I am addicted to putting things off until the last minute. You guys have no idea. I think it may be heredity. My mother passed it on to me. I wonder if I could find any stories to support my theory. Surely.

So what can this post be about? This post is centered around productivity. I get emails asking what is your day like? or how do you have time to blog? While these are good questions, I am no expert. In fact, I feel like the majority of self help or self improvement articles that I read are about how to change your day around to be productive. I love to blog but I also love to read blogs. I spend a TON of time reading blogs. It makes me happy! So while my day to day life is different, my efforts to be more productive are getting much better.

Want to know how I realized I had a problem? Well another confession is that I have known my productivity level has been awful for years. For years I have been pushing the limits with deadlines but honestly, my best work sometimes comes when I am against the wire so I didn't want to make a change. A few months back I started taking what I do seriously. Yes, I have blogged for almost two years but I didn't realize until recently how much more I could do and succeed at. I realized that I am successful with what I do and want to do more. I knew that if I wanted to take on more with the blog that I needed to get a hold of my productivity level. At first, the thought made me roll my eyes but it was time to be a productive big girl. Here are a few things that have change my life for the better:

1. I deleted Facebook off my phone. I felt 10 pounds lighter when I did this. Y'all I do not know what my deal is with Facebook but I seem to check it all the time and for no reason because nothing happened since the last time I checked it 5 minutes ago. Oh, so bad. Deleting it keeps me off of it and I am working very hard to cut down my time on the computer using it. The ultimate goal is to go without checking my social media apps for one whole weekend.

2. Office hours. This changed my life. I love it and hate it at the same time. When I am able (my schedule is different every week) I go into my office at 9 am, take one hour break for lunch and then I go back in until about 4:30 or 5 pm. It keeps me on track. I also find myself not answering emails at 9 pm. I try to get as much done as I can in that time. I am bad at working into the night. 2012 was a big year of working into the night and when making my resolutions for 2013 I knew I didn't want that. I missed out on so much with my husband. It is so nice to walk out of my office at 5 and make dinner, drink some wine and spend time goofing off with my husband and pup.

3. Set alarms. When people ask me what I do, I say I am a blogger. It is interesting because everyone makes fun of it but the biggest misconception is that I sit on the couch and write all day. I wish! Even though I do not make a drive into an office every day I do get up around 7 am each morning. I go into my office by 9 am. These few hours give me time to exercise, make breakfast, have quiet time with the Lord and any other little things that need to be done around the house. Once I am in my office, I am always making a list of things to be done. I can find myself taking too long with certain things so I have started setting alarms. I get my post up, read a few blogs and get my social media pushes ready for the day but come 11 am I move on to something else. I could sit and read blogs all day and setting an alarm to move on is a life saver. I also set an alarm for around 4 pm to spend my last hour in the office answering emails. Alarms have changed my whole day around. I love them!

4. Say No. This one is the hardest and biggest lesson I have learned. I have so many wonderful friends and vendors on the web and in every day life. I love working with them all but I am learning to say no when my plate is too full. If I cannot collaborate on a project no matter how amazing, I simply turn it down. It is really changing my creative process and allowing me more time to complete my top priorities. When I first start saying no I felt like I was letting people down. I quickly realized that they understood and loved me the same even though I had to pass on a project. Saying no is so freeing!

5. Make the most of it. Blogging is hard. Running a small business is hard but I am loving where I am in life. I absolutely LOVE what I do. I love answering emails. I love proofreading my posts (even though I am not the best at it). I love interacting with other bloggers. I love my life. I have learned that I control my attitude, my actions, my spirit. I am making the most out of what I do every day. It feels good great!

Need more encouragement? This article by Lara Casey is a must. It is all about boundaries and it will challenge you. What keeps you on track? What tricks help you be the most productive? I would love to hear your ideas!

Q & A: Trust in Relationships

{Daniel Holman Photography}

I absolutely love Q & A Thursday. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy showing weddings & lovely couples to you throughout the week but something about Thursday is honest. Today we are talking about trust in relationships.

To me, a lot of factors play in to whom you trust and why you trust them. When Rusty and I started dating, he was a complete stranger and while some would be weary of relationships with strangers I trusted him wholeheartedly. I am the type of person who puts their trust in anyone until you give me a reason not to. My trust with Rusty continued to grow. I know that he has the best intentions for our relationship and marriage in mind. We are honest with one another, very honest. We communicate openly with one another. We depend on each other.

In past dating relationships, trust did not always come easy. I have made mistakes in relationships. I have not been confident in relationships. I have been just in a relationship to have a relationship. I know this sounds cliché but when you find the one your heart desires, trust should be natural. I never have doubted Rusty. Trust is a funny thing but we all deserve it. A few things to think about...

1. Confidence. I know that in relationships past I lacked confidence in myself and in the relationship. When that happens it is hard to put your trust in to someone else. You may not feel good enough to believe someone is being honest with you. You may feel insecure about your relationship and the direction it is headed. If that is the case, talk to your significant other. You are a special lady and until you realize that, being with someone else may not be the right decision. Remember, it is okay to take time to focus on you and you alone.

2. The right relationship. Oh, the right relationship. Ladies, be honest with yourself. Only you can know if you are in the right relationship. The right relationship looks different for everyone but no matter the differences they all should have trust. Never comprise.

3. Life happens. No matter what relationship, whether dating or friendship, life brings bumps in the road. As a couple how you handle those trials builds trust and character. You should never start a relationship with someone you do not trust. Building your life and giving away your heart should go to a person you can depend on 100% and know your heart is safe with them.

4. You always have to trust and be honest. This is so important. You have to trust the one you are with. If you cannot because of events past or things you have done, get out of the relationship. That may sound harsh but living your life not knowing if you can trust your boyfriend is not worth it and stressful. Trust is such a beautiful and healthy thing. I dated someone for three years throughout college and that relationship was extremely dysfunctional. I really thought about where the relationship was headed. I didn't trust him and after I realized that things ended quickly. I also knew there was no bouncing back with him or regaining of trust. When I met Rusty it was so natural and easy. I can remember thinking this is how it should be. Trust shouldn't be difficult and if it is say for your lack of confidence in yourself or things that have broken you down in the past, maybe a relationship is just not the right thing for you at the moment. Being single is okay, very much okay.

5. Trust yourself. Always remember this. Trust yourself. Trust your gut. Trust your heart and know that things work out the way they should....every time. We will never understand all the things that happen in our life but one thing you can always rely on is trusting your instincts.

With all this being said, you need to know what you stand for in a relationship. Trust should be simple and easy with whom you love. Believe in yourself and your relationship. Just a little food for thought.

Q & A: Jane Dog...Duh?!

To be honest, I am very surprised with myself that I have not talked more about this little fur baby. Meet Jane who you might have seen here. Two years ago yesterday we took a chance that would forever change our lives. You see I grew up with pups but Rusty never did. When we first got married I was baby crazy. Rusty told me no and I let the baby subject go.

A few weeks before Christmas I was browsing shelters for a puppy all without telling my husband my plan. I came across a picture of a little ball of fur name Holiday. She was a rescue living with her brother at Wynne Friends of Animals. (This shelter is hands down one of the best in the country.) I downloaded the application, filled it out that day and sent it right to them. I got a call on December 18, 2010 from the staff and they went over my application with me. The whole time I was holding my breath. I should have mentioned that the first time I saw Holiday's (Jane) photo in her red bandanna I cried. I knew that she was our baby.

{P.s. We are not the Robertson's. This is a mock up of our Christmas card before I changed our name.}

The staff informed me that I had been approved to adopt little Holiday. The following morning I drove 45 minutes to the shelter. I started thinking thoughts like are we fit dog parents? I always had a dog growing up but my parents took care of it for the most part. Can I do this? I arrived at the shelter (Rusty was working and didn't really know what I was doing) and was greeted by the kindest staff. They stressed walking around and meeting all the pups to make sure the one I selected was the right one. I was walking past Holiday's cage where she was wrestling with her brother Holidale and she locked eyes with me. The gentlemen showing me around said, "Oh man. She knows who Mommy is." I got a tour of the shelter and it was spotless. All of the puppies had a name and the staff could tell you their story and characteristics of the dogs personality. I was blown away by their knowledge and mostly, their love for these homeless dogs. In their eyes, they were not homeless anymore but residents of the shelter. The shelter also believes in not putting dogs down because reach capacity or the dog is heartworm positive. They provide the animals with the best life imaginable. I had to try real hard not to cry.

The moment came when I got to take Holiday (Jane) on a walk. We were walking side by side when I crouched down to pet her. She immediately climbed in my lap and it looked like she gave me a hug. That was it, the moment I became a puppy mommy. I drove Jane home where she proceeded to sleep under my drivers seat. She did that until she became too big. I remember Rusty didn't even know how to put a leash on her. Since I adopted a puppy without really telling him (Ha! He thanks me now! You should see those two together) I gave him the privilege of naming her. He wanted to give her a human name so Jane Irene (my middle name) Farrin stuck. We are so lucky and wouldn't know what to do without her!

You know some people just don't get my relationship with Jane. But it isn't yours to understand. Every day Jane teaches me what unconditional love is. Her attitude is permanently set to happy. She loves to play and roll around in the grass. She understands what I am saying when I talk to her. When we first moved to Texas I didn't have a job or a second vehicle. I was home a lot but Jane always kept me company. She rests her head on me when I cry. She greets me at the door with a wagging tail. She makes me laugh. Rusty and I always joke that we would not know what to do without her. She is our baby. I get the joy of waking up to a paw in my face every day. It melts my heart.

This year for Christmas Jane is getting a bone as big as she is plus a soccer ball, dental chews and a new stuffed animal. She has one stuffing free animal (the one from the infomercials with squeakers) that she has had since she was a baby. Now we are getting her a new one to join her toy basket. Spoiled, I know. A few other things about Jane that I love are she has a sensitive tummy so she loves goldfish crackers and homemade puppy treats. She loves sleeping in the sunshine. She knows tricks like to go get her rope when asked out of a toy basket full of toys. She brings the rope right to you. We think she is a genius. She loves to run with me. She is perfect!

One of the best gifts I ever bought myself was Jane. Knowing that we gave her a life outside of that wonderful shelter is comforting. If you get nothing else from this post listen to this. There is a puppy that needs you. There is a puppy that needs a warm and inviting home. Go adopt one. It will change your life for the better. Now if only I could talk Rusty into adopting one more....

Photos by Daniel Holman Photography

Q & A: How To Pick The Perfect Vendors {It's Just Like Dating}

{Glamour & Grace}

More and more I am convinced that finding the right vendor(s) for your wedding day is like dating. First you start off with a phone call or email. Next you set up a time to meet with one another just = first date. You meet in a neutral place more than likely a coffee shop and strike up a conversation. You talk about yourself, ask questions about the other and then you go one your way. See, just like dating. Did you get nervous just thinking about it? Me too.

I am a firm believer that your wedding vendors should bring only good to your special day. I also believe that you search for the best vendors for you but they also are looking for you. I know as a vendor that I have a certain type of bride that I want to work with. Sometimes you may meet a vendor that you do not click with. That is 100% okay. I once had someone tell me that finding the right vendor is like finding the perfect shoes. The shoes will be affordable with the money already in your account, in the right size and color options. Oh and they won't leave blisters.

Here are a few tips/ideas for finding that right vendor:

1. Research them, ask around and check out their portfolio. You should not even consider talking with a vendor if you are on the fence about their work. Ask other brides (that you trust) who have worked with that vendor. Their work should move you and make you excited! Their work will be front and center on your wedding day.

2. They should be excited about what they are doing and specifically your wedding. As a vendor, I love learning about my clients and their love story. It helps you understand a brides style, what makes her tick and how her wedding day should be. Your vendors should be happy, cheerful and have a mission to make your wedding day special. Do not settle for less no matter what your circumstance may be {i.e. budget, availability, travel}. You deserve a vendor who is excited to be working with you!

{Hey Gorg Events & Hey Gorg Events Blog}

3. They should bring new creativity to your planning process plus wedding day. Make sure their vision is cohesive with yours. Your vendors should have fresh ideas to bring to the table while listening to what you have in mind. I love watching the wheels churn with vendors. Consult with them throughout your planning process then watch them bring it life.

4. You should be comfortable with them & confident in their abilities. Trust in their gifts. Let them work their magic. That is why you picked them. The best part about being a vendor is becoming friends with the bride and continuing that friendship after their wedding. Find comfort in your capable and excellent vendors.

5. I promise you will just know. I talked with numerous photographers as a planning bride. I was a bride who wanted a photographer who was different and met my budget requirements. I was realistic in who I spoke to in the beginning. When I stumbled upon, Steven Miles I was beyond thrilled. He was kind. He was creative. He was funny. He made Rusty and I feel so comfortable. I just knew he was the right photographer for me and I was not disappointed at all!

6. They should never tire of your questions (within reason y'all). I am on the receiving end of questions from brides. You should not overload a vendor with questions but if you have one ask. Your vendor should gladly answer any question you have. They may offer a solution you didn't think of. Just remember to be reasonable. Even though a vendor is not in a physical office building and may work from home does not mean you can contact them at 9 pm and expect a quick response. They have a home life. You should also not have a vendor who takes days to get back to you. Your vendors will be helpful and eager to assist.

No matter what vendors you pick whether 3 or 10, you deserve ones who believe in your vision and want to make your day special. Just like dating, pick the right one for you. The vendors selection process may take a while for you and that is okay. You are picking the individuals who are a part of your wedding day. It is a big deal! Enjoy picking them and do not let worry creep into the process. Have fun y'all!

Q & A: Joining Finances or Keeping Things Separate

Thursday Q & A time folks. First, how about a small celebration that it is almost Friday. This week has been a week of readjusting. Sometimes I love vacation but then getting back on track and caught up afterwards can be tough. Like I mentioned, it is almost Friday. :)

What does that picture up above have to do with finances? Oh, nothing but isn't it the prettiest? I stumbled upon Our Labor of Love and am captivated. I scrolled through their work and love it and I know you will enjoy it just as much.

Today's topic covers finances. I always grew up thinking that couples automatically joined their bank accounts together when they got married. Rusty and I made the decision to create one account when we became engaged. Without hesitation we joined our finances but we did talk every scenario through. It wasn't until a few months later when I started asking girlfriends if they had joined accounts that I learned some couples keep things separate. To be honest, the concept blew my mind. Of course I listened to their stories and the more I learn about couples and finances and bills, I truly believe that each couple is a case-by-case decision.

I know finances aren't that exciting. Contain yourself but money is a big deal in relationships. A big deal. I have said this before but the only arguments that Rusty and I have had during our marriage is when it comes to our spending and bank account. One study I read stated that the term financial disagreement is one of the biggest reasons for divorce and that couples who disagree about finances more than once a week are at a higher risk for divorce. Now do not let that statistic scare you. Like I said, each couple is a case by case. Since money, bills and saving is a key component for each relationship I thought I would bring in Rusty for a little help with this post. He actually responded positively and took this blog post really seriously.

1. Talk it over then talk it over again. This may seem extremely obvious but communication with money is crucial whether you have one account together or separate accounts. Your decision is a big deal. There is just no way around it. The principles you have with money effect many aspects of your life and especially your future. Whether joint account or separate finances, communication is something that no couple should avoid. It may take a few chats but it is worth it.

2. Do what suits your lifestyles. If you decide to join your accounts then go for it. Try out what works best for you. It can be easy to be swayed by what others tell you to do. Everyone has the best advice in his or her mind but pick what fits into your every day life. Who knows? A friend may have some inspiration you didn't think of but your finances are your finances.

3. It is not long yours and his but ours. Or as Rusty corrected, it is no longer yours and his but mine and ours. So not true husband. Ha! All kidding aside, getting married brings in new bills and a different way of accounting. Regardless of which way you go (joint or separate banking accounts), it is no longer just you. Keep your partner in mind, what you will pay in bills, what you should save and where you want to enjoy.

4. Find what works. This was difficult for Rusty and I. It has taken us several different tries but we are starting to find the right balance for us. We have tried giving each of us a cash allowance to due what we want, we have tried separate "fun" accounts and we have tried to do everything from one account. Do not worry if it takes you a few times or tries. You are not failing but finding the right fit. That is so important!

5. Make sure you discuss spending and saving. You and your partner should have similar theories and practices when it comes to how you spend and save your money. If you do not see eye to eye, a joint account may not be the best idea for your relationship. You should at least agree on the basic principles. Talk, talk, talk.

I hope that these tips help. The biggest thing is talk about it all and find what works for you. What works best in your relationship? Joint accounts or separate finances? Any advice to pass long? Let me know your thoughts!

Q & A: How Much Cake Do We Order?

{Steven Miles Photoworks}

What's up Thursday? What's up? That was to the tune of Sir Mix-a-lot's Jump On It. No? Well anyway it is Thursday which means almost the weekend. Next week is going to be pretty amazing on Lovebird Productions. It may include a few new how-to videos. Just maybe.

Now on to Q & A Thursday!

Q. My fiance and I are starting to do a few cake tastings at our favorite bakeries. My only concern is I do not know how much cake to order. Can you help?

A. Of course I can help! Oh the woes of wedding cakes. It is baffling how a detail like cake can be stressful. What flavor do you pick? What type of frosting is best? How many tiers do you need?

Let me just stop you right now because cake tasting and the overall decision should be one thing you truly enjoy. You get to eat cake. You get to eat lots of cake. Let me encourage you in enjoying this piece of the wedding planning process. Yes, other things may be difficult along the way but enjoy the cake. You can have your cake and eat it too. How many times can you say that?

When it comes to picking your cake, there are so many different ways to go. Chocolate? Square? Two tiers? Fondant  Cream cheese? Smooth frosting? Forget the cake and stick with pie? Here are a few tips to help with how much cake you really need plus finding your best baker and deal:

1. Research your baker. This is so important. It can make a difference not only in your quality of cake but also your overall price.

2. Ask other brides. I am a firm believer in word of mouth referrals. Other brides have planned and conquered. Let them pass on their advice. It can really help out and make things more simple.

3. Have a guess when it comes to your guest count. When ordering your cake, the baker is going to understand that you do not have a final head count but a guesstimate allows them to tell you just how much cake you will need. We invited around 250 people and I guessed that 150 would attend. There will be various shapes and sizes to work with when it comes to people versus cake.

4. Ask questions. This point goes with any vendor you hire for your wedding day. Make sure you know exactly what you are agreeing upon. What time will they deliver the cake? Do you need to pay for the cake in full or just put down a deposit? Can they adjust the size if more guests RSVP than originally planned? Where do they store it? Do not be afraid of your thoughts. The more questions you ask, the better you feel.

5. Show them your bookmarked favorites. Whether it is a photo on your phone from Pinterest or a tear out from your must have bridal magazine, a picture is going to help your baker. It gives them direction and something to build on. A majority of bakeries also have a portfolio on hand. They will be able to take a certain thing you like from one cake and add that to another photo that you like. Get creative!

6. Order a bit less than what the baker recommends. Now I am not saying order half of their recommendation but I could have easily gone done a small tier. Not all guests are going to eat a piece. Also bakers have a round about amount for how much your ideal cake can serve i.e. a three tier cake can serve anywhere between 80-120 guests. That is a wide range. Let them know your budget and expectations.

I hope this helps and good luck cake tasting! For more lovely little cake related posts like how to cut your cake or how to even get started on picking your cake design click here and here. Happy Thursday!

Q & A: Why Veggies Lady?

{The Realistic Nutritionist}

Well good morning lovely! It is me, Katie. Who else did you think it was? Can you believe it is already Thursday and the first of November. I am not even sure where October went? Sound the trumpets for Q & A Thursday! Side note: One day I will make a little jingle/horn salute for Thursday's posts.

I hope that you all are recovering from your Halloween adventures and candy coma. I was a good little girl this year and didn't give in to the candy temptation all around me. I stuck with chocolate chip cookie dough instead. See the difference? Yeah, me neither. I have to say that growing up I didn't really celebrate Halloween so it is always fun to see all the creative costumes people come up with. I am not very creative so a simple cow costume blows my mind! Also this year we were in the city limits (new home versus country home) and actually got trick or treaters at our house. It was so much fun! Kids are so interesting.

Now to the whole reason you stopped by, question and answer time.

Q. What made you become a vegetarian after a lifetime of eating meat?

A. Can I be honest? I didn't watch a documentary or read a book. I literally was sitting at the dinner table with my mom and husband one night and just blurted it out. I hadn't even thought about it until that moment. Sometimes I find myself blurting various things out and this time it was a declaration to not eat meat.

My always supportive husband laughed and patted my hand like sure dear. That night I just decided to give up meat. I grew up on meat. My Dad can fry a catfish better than anyone around and my mom dominates grilled hamburgers. Chicken was a staple in my diet and I LOVED tuna and crackers. I literally ate meat for 24 years of my life and for those who don't know this, I just celebrated my 25th birthday so a lifetime of meat. I always ate meat in moderation but I never craved it (minus the tuna).

Might I also add that I don't like vegetables so the decision to only eat fruits, veggies, grains and some dairy surprised me. I can remember growing up hating green beans. My mom use to make me finish my 5 green beans on my plate and I literally made a nightly production out of it. Becoming a vegetarian makes you more daring with recipes. I started realizing that what I hated as a 7 year old, I absolutely loved as a 25 year old i.e. green beans and cucumber.

This first week I tried just grilled fish and shrimp but after one week decided to go cold turkey. Guys, it was such a good decision. Here are a few other reasons as to why I decided to give up meat plus some of the benefits I am seeing from a developing a vegetarian lifestyle.

1. New recipes. New recipes may be my favorite part of going vegetarian. I have loved all the new recipes I am getting to try. It is so interesting to learn to cook without meat. The grill is my best friend but I also love to roast vegetables.

2. Healthy horse right here. Well not 100% but I am getting there. One of the biggest struggles I dealt with when first becoming vegetarian was replacing my meat consumption with tons of dairy products. Dairy isn't the best for you and I was eating cheese by the block. I am slowly pulling away from the dairy and sticking to more whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruit. There are no surprises in my diet.

A few weeks ago everyone at the office I work in started getting sick. It started with one person and made its way around the office. I knew I was going to get sick. I have a very weakened immune system and if it is going around, I will get it. I was just waiting for the back aches and the stuffy nose but it never came. I watched all my co-workers get sick and I never once felt bad. Now I am not saying it has to do with eating mostly vegetables but I know it helped. Since I am trying to eat all natural foods and no preservatives, it really did help me fight off an illness. I was so surprised because I have been getting sick (more than most people) all my life. It just goes to show that your diet really does matter.

3. I feel great. I really do. I have more energy and I am happier. A big perk!

4. My children. This is one of the biggest reasons. No matter what I eat, I want to be healthy for my children. I want to be around to watch them grow. I don't have kids yet (just Jane dog) but I want to set a good example for them. I know the first few years of their life are vital for their nutrition. I don't want to let them down when it comes to be healthy and active little humans.

5. My families heart history. This was also a huge deciding factor. Meat, more specifically red meat, has been linked to poor heart health. My family has a history of heart defects or conditions. Why not make a simple decision to better my heart? It kind of seemed like a no-brainer.

6. Animal love. This is my hippie answer but I really don't like what they do to the animals. A majority of farmers are looking to make more money by producing more products. Cows and chickens are given hormones to grow bigger and faster. They are pushed to do more. Guess what? Then you ingest all the hormones the chickens have been stuffed with. So if it makes the chickens grow larger then what is it doing to you? Just a thought.

Now after reading all of this are you interested? The best thing to do is educate yourself on any life change you make whether it be vegan, gluten free or vegetarian. I do have a couple of go-to sources that you should bookmark not only if you want to become vegetarian but just for a healthier you. These are my favorites:

1. The Realistic Nutritionist: I am obsessed with this blog. I read it every day. Claire offers so many selections for you. From tasty gluten free desserts to salmon goodness to veggie only recipes, she has vivid pictures and just like her name, realistic options.

2. Skinny Bitch: This is a new one to me. I started reading this book and am not all the way done but it has kicked my butt. I recommend this book for all types of eaters. Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin put you in your place really quick. They show you medically what food does to your body. It is mind blowing but you do need tough skin before reading this book. Like I said, it is kicking my butt.

3. Forks Over Knives: This documentary is so good. It not only covers eating more vegetables but a more whole food, plant based diet. It is really, really interesting.

I hope this has been a bit more helpful. I want to start getting back to more wedding related topics for our Q & A sessions on Thursday. Cheers to be happy and healthy!

Q & A: How to Gift the Correct Way

{Camille Styles}

Happy Thursday friends! I am happy to be here and blogging. Even more so, I am glad that you made it back today. If you are new, hi there! A week or so ago, I received the email below in my inbox and it of coursed sparked today's Q & A session.

Q. Hi Katie! I don't usually send emails to blogs, but I came across yours and I wanted your opinion on something. So here's the story:

I was at a wedding at the bride's father's country club so you know he paid a pretty, shiny penny for his little girl. "David" comes up to me and asks if I could break a twenty. I didn't so he went up to the bar, ordered a beer and got a $10 bill. He then proceeds to hand the money to his wife, who then places the $10 in a card and seals it up. I was so shocked, embarrassed and a bit upset to see this. Listen, I'm not saying they MUST bring a gift and sometimes money is an issue. I get it. But $10?! $10?! At that rate, just say no thank you and don't show up! Of course they proceeded to eat, drink and be merry for the rest of the night. Am I being a snob? This happened months ago and I'm still peeved!

-Veronica

A. Valerie, let me start by saying I love your banter. I know that if we lived near one another we would be besties (and I don't even like that word). It is so good to hear from you and I love that you took the time to email me. Now for your question:

You are not a snob, not one bit. I think I would react the way that you did. Shock, irritation and my mouth hanging open thinking did I really just watch that? As an one time planning bride, it would offended me but luckily the bride didn't see the exchange.

I do not want to come across as a snooty blogger. Any type of gift is such a blessing (including $10) and I know that as a bride I was just happy to have everyone there regardless of if they gave us a gift. I knew that not everyone would give us a present and that isn't the point of why we got married. The problem is making change at the bar for the gift and filling out your card at the reception. Sometimes I think people have lost their manners. On a positive note, that is one thing I hope to do with my blog, educate others. All we can do is kill people with kindness and treat them with the respect that we expect in return. Here are a few ideas for new couples or gifts to take with you to the wedding:

1. Gift cards. Some people may think this is tacky but I loved getting gift cards. Rusty and I didn't spend money eating out for months into our marriage and didn't pay a dime for groceries for a month or two (and that is with a monthly budget of $300 for groceries). Gift cards are easy and putting it in a fun card with a sweet note is a great gift! We also liked the idea of having a prepaid Visa that we were able to use how we wanted and were not restricted to use it at one store.

2. Something thoughtful or homemade. I love gifts like this. Gift the couple with a paperback journal to record their favorite moments in or a painting of the city where they met. Let your gift have meaning. These were my favorite. Hands down.

3. The official registry is always good. The registry will never let you down. Stores make it beyond easy to order online or pick out in store.

I was taught to always give abundantly. My mother instilled that in me and I love passing along love through a present. I am the type of person who searches until I find the perfect gift for someone. Try your best to already have the gift ready to go and wrapped before you arrive at the wedding. Throwing a ten into a card at the wedding reception is not appropriate. You are a guest that has been paid for by this sweet couple/family so act accordingly. Have fun, let your hair down, celebrate a beautiful marriage but remember to be courteous of the couple and the time they have spent to make this wedding happen.

I hope this helps with your question Valerie. Anyone else want to add? Leave your comments below! Happy Thursday lovelies!

Q & A: Can You Help With Shower Etiquette?

{Katie Neal Photo via Green Wedding Shoes}

It is Thursday. Today is a Katie day. A Katie day includes reading too many blogs (it is something I could do all day long), touching up my pedicure, drinking two cups of coffee, cuddling my pup and not working for one day. I say that but I know better. I think I would be lost without the emails, editing software and my phone ringing.

But before I can enjoy my relaxation I am here to tackle today's Q & A session. One of my dear friends sent me a little email:

Q. A few months ago I was invited to a bridal shower. I went, took a gift and hugged the bride. She knew I was there. I just realized the other day that the wedding has come and gone. The problem is I never got an invitation to the wedding. Is that okay? I just feel like if I was invited to a shower, I should have been invited to the wedding.

A. This is so sad. I do not want to defend this bride but surely something happened to your invitation in the mail. Maybe she sent it by pigeon carrier and the pigeon didn't make it. Regardless, you are right. This is a BIG no no. No bride should ever invite you to a shower with the intention of not inviting you to the wedding. I know showers are not just about gifts but taking a gift and then not inviting those people to celebrate your marriage is just wrong.

Ladies, brides, bridesmaids, make sure you do not let this happen. I know between all the showers, planning, different invitation list of guests, things may get mixed up but be on top of this. It is just....rude. People want to gift you with goodies and words of wisdom at your shower but even more so they want to celebrate your nuptials.

If you are victim of this scenario, I hate to say it but there really is nothing you can do except hope that wedding bloggers can better educate brides. Ha! Wish the bride well and really try to be excited for her. For more on shower questions, check out these posts here, here and here. Happy Thursday loves!

Q & A: How to Deal with Other Bridesmaids?

{Aaron Young Photography via Green Wedding Shoes}

Well hot dog. It is already Thursday. This week is zooming by but you know what today brings. Q & A Thursday y'all.

It is no secret that I have been a bridesmaids 1, 256 7 times. With that many weddings under my belt, I have a bit of experience. Maybe they should create a bridesmaid for hire to keep the other gals in line. I would dominate plus I know how to throw an awesome shower. But enough about the weird skills you acquire from being in too many weddings. If you want some pointers, here, here, here, here and here are a weeks worth of posts that cover every topic from finances of being in the wedding to planning the best bachelorette party ever.

I got this question in my inbox from a dear friend.

Q. I am so excited for my best friends wedding. We are having so much fun getting to plan her big day. I like all of the bridesmaids but am having a hard time with a few things. First, she asked me to be her matron of honor. I have started brainstorming with the other bridesmaids about her bachelorette party. One girl is really wanting to go to New Orleans around Mardi Gras. I think that is a great idea and wish we all could but I am running in to budgeting problems. 3/4's of the gals in the wedding party are teachers. We live on budgets and discussed about the price point for all of us going. While New Orleans would be nice, visiting the city that time of year is just not realistic but that one bridesmaid just will not let it go. Second, the same girl is really taking over. While I love having help especially since I live in a different state than the bride, I do want to help plan too. I know a majority of the times the Matron of Honor helps with a shower and or a bridal luncheon. I just feel like I should have control of planning and ask for their help financially and with the details. What can I do to nicely tell this girl to back off. She hasn't even really asked the bride what she wants. I don't want to hurt her feelings though.

A. Oh the handful bridesmaid. Almost every wedding party has one. On a positive note, how exciting to be planning your best friends wedding and all the moments leading up to it. This is such a special time. Make the most of it! While other bridesmaids may be driving you crazy here are a few suggestions:

1. Ask the bride. Talk to the bride. See what she wants for her bachelorette and bridal brunch/shower. She is the best source. Keep her in mind in everything you do and say throughout this whole process. Regardless of the women in the bridal party (helpful, overbearing or extremely sweet), the ultimate goal is to make your best friend feel special.

2. Get all the ladies together and talk/discuss. I know that not everyone is going to agree on locations or shower invites but at least it gives every one a goal or a task. I know being in weddings you naturally want to help. This lets each gal showcase her talents. If the bridesmaid is driving you nuts then assign her a task that she is awesome at. For example, if she is really good at decorating, put her on the hunt for must have decor for the bridal shower or have her be in charge of buying the decor for the lingerie shower. Give her a task that will keep her occupied and out of your hair.

3. Chances are if she is driving you crazy, the bride has had about enough too. In other words, keep your focus on the bride. Make her feel special. Do all you can to make her months of planning less stressful. She needs it!

4. When all else fails with keep this out of control bridesmaid in line, tell her to back off (in a nice way of course). The thing about me is I am all for honesty. If you are all for honesty that means if you give it you are going to get it back too. You may just have to have a sit down with the bridesmaid and tell her to relax. As women, a lot of the time we do not even realize what we are doing is wrong. Be kind but stress the important part of slowing down a bit and if this makes you the bad guy for saying something then you may have to play the role. Do what you know is right and respectful.

I hope that helps with answering your question. The biggest things is make the bride happy and everything else will fall into place. Happy Thursday friends!

Q & A: Finding Happiness in Yourself & Relationships

It is a funny thing. I do love to blog about weddings and flowers and pretty but I get the biggest response about relationship posts. I know because it surprises me too. I am absolutely no expert on love but I have lived a little. I have also dated. I also have found an amazing man to spend my life with.

So the biggest thing that I have to catch up on for Thursday Q & A is relationship topics. I will try my best but can I repeat again that I am no expert. Sound advice time.

Q. I have been with the same man for quite sometime. Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am not. I seem to be in a funk. How do I know if I am sticking around for the right reasons? What do I do?

A. First, I hope I don't talk your ear off. I can confidentially say that each and every relationship is different. I feel your decision on what to do in your relationship is specific to you and may not be the same for another couple. You should also understand that your relationship is 100% different than everyone else so do not compare. Smiling pictures of a couple on Facebook doesn't equal a happy couple. Trust me.

Now that you are not comparing yourself to someone else you have to understand the next thing I am about to say. I have said it on this blog. I have preached it to my friends. I have learned it myself. I have a t-shirt that says it. Well maybe not that last thing but understand this: You cannot be the best you or offer all of yourself to another person until you are confident and happy with who you are and know what you stand for. I will say this until I am blue in the face. If you are not a confident woman, if you do not know who you are, if you do not have a sense of what your beliefs are then you will not be able to be 100% in a romantic relationship and that relationship will not satisfy you either. Yes, your sense of self will adapt over the years. Yes, your taste in style will change but you are who you are. You should be open to growth but regardless of all these factors, you should be happy.

If you are dating: Are you not seeing eye to eye with your other half? Are you enjoying your time with him or her? Are you smiling and feeling happy? Sometimes you think you are but I ask you to look a little deeper. If you are happy 100% I am so happy for you. If you are struggling, this relationship may not be for you. Here is the kicker: only you know the answer to whether your relationship is the right relationship. Be true to yourself. I was the gal whose best friends all got marries or engaged after college. I could have done that with the guy I was dating but thank goodness I didn't! I would have missed out on Rusty. You decide your fate and that should include a really good and dreamy guy.

{Benj Haisch via Green Wedding Shoes}

If you are married: This one is hard. I couldn't imagine marrying someone who didn't make me laugh 24/7 but I also know people change. Remember that things will change in your relationship but it should be for the better. Your taste for life may change but with that, your partner should be right there with you. If you aren't happy, try talking with a mutual party like a mentor or counselor. I believe that if both parties try your marriage can be a happy one. We are women and we are emotional. When you have a spat with your husband try to remember that it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we think things are worse than they are. If things are truly bad then you need to try every possible resource to improving your partnership. You both should be happy and healthy!

SO what if the problem is not your relationship but your happiness? I understand. I know first hand what it is like to struggle with what you want to do in life. A few ideas for finding happiness: write down what you enjoy and go from there. If your list involves taking pictures maybe photography could be a new hobby. Try volunteering. I can guarantee that will bring you joy. A mother of three? Start a mommy and baby coffee house date or a book club. Find your outlet. I think sometimes we know what would make us happy but it may scare you a bit. It may seem bigger than you. That is good! Fight fear. Remember that you deserve happiness but you also have to be patient and strong when it comes to finding your niche.

I hope that this post makes sense. I truly believe that every woman can be smiling and that is what makes you beautiful ladies. Happy Thursday!