Our Three Date Nights

So Rusty and I are almost to our fourth wedding anniversary. I cannot believe it. Really it seems surreal that this guy has put up with me and I with him (ha!) for four years of marriage and five years of dating. Who are those kids in that picture above? We were so naive, inexperienced with life, elated, working for the weekend and madly in love. And in so many ways we are still all those things but different too. Man do I love that guy.

I sometimes think we are a different breed. Don't get me wrong, I love R but we are just different. We like to do social outings with friends or dinner at our neighbors for our dates. We rarely get dolled up and venture out for a snazy dinner alone. My birthday and our anniversary are really it for our date nights. And some may criticize us for that but we are happy. In the year we dated before we got married we didn't really date much just us either. We love our t.v. shows (currently needing a new Netflix series to watch), dinner together at our table and the occasional ice cream run. We are just different and it works for us.

Romance to me is when I am extremely busy and Rusty does the laundry without me asking. Oh man, that makes me weak at the knees. Ha! Funny but true. Regardless, I want to date my husband especially before our little bundle arrives. And I do hope we can do more outside of the home with just us but in due time. Honestly, I think these planned date nights might be weird for us just because it is so different but trying we will.

Since I am having to rest 90% of the day all dates will happen in our home.

//Building a Tent + Watch a Movie//
I am not revealing this one to him at all. (Don't worry - he is not an avid blog reader). My plans: a sheet tent, Christmas lights, junk food snacks, ordering a pizza, the air mattress and our favorite blankets and pillows.

I am already bouncing up and down for this one. Eeep!

//Dinner In + The Newlywed Game//
Rusty and I l-o-v-e to cook together in the kitchen. It makes us feel very connected. My plans: new recipe that both of us can make together and playing the newlywed game. 

//Fill the Bucket + Photo Shoot//
One thing that I am noticing about Rusty and I is that when we vacation or really accomplish something or check off a big to-do we are like crazed people. We want to tackle something new. It got me thinking that as a couple we should make a bucket list together. Travel to Greece? Okay. Save a certain amount of money in 5 years? Let's do it. Whatever it is, I want us to make a bucket list together. Stuff that we can accomplish together. I also want to take photos of us being goofy. This is something we did when we first started dating on my Macbook and I think it would be fun to recreate. It is silly but reminiscent. Plus Rusty is really good looking so more photos of him the better.

I am hoping that these three dates create a few special moments before our boy arrives plus it makes time just for us. I like dating my husband even if we do it differently than most.

What is your favorite date night with your love? Happy Friday! :)

Meeting a Man...Oh the Pressure

{Julie Wilhite Photography via Style Me Pretty Texas}

This post is for all the beautiful, single gals out there. Whether you are in a relationship, newly dating or browsing, this post is for you.

The other day I was walking into the grocery store with Rusty when we passed a lady with her two sons and daughter. She was getting the little girl loaded into the buggy when I heard her say, "You will need to find a husband first." And just like that the start of a cycle begins.

At first, I laughed because the girl was maybe 6 and her mom was just joking. I knew that but I started browsing the produce section and really thinking about what she said. This really is how it begins, I thought. I can remember from an early age what it was like feeling pressured to find "the one." My grandmother is 100% a southern, sassy belle. She was married by the ole ripe age of 19. I remember dating a boy in high school who my grandmother just knew I was going to marry. She would tell us all the time. Update: We didn't get married.

I feel as women the world around us is constantly changing. Not as many women get married in their teens anymore. The latest census shows that the median age of women getting married is 25. My grandmother would have a stroke if she knew. Women are building independent lives before deciding to settle down. Women are more prominent in business and politics. Women are amazing.

With all this marriage chit chat, I just feel so many ladies feel pressured to settle down. In college I had a core group of 5 gals that I always hung around with. Within a year of graduating college or soon after we graduated college, they were all married. All of them minus me of course. I was in a new relationship with my now husband but we still had things we wanted to do before making things official. I know each of my girlfriends are in happy, healthy relationships and that was the next step. For many girls leaving college it is the "thing" to do.

Now back to the lady at the grocery store, I know she meant no harm to her daughter but the doubt in your self builds. When all of your friends are getting married, you start to question what you are doing. Your mom is asking who you are dating. Your grandmother is wanting to get you monogrammed towels but needs to know your unknown husbands last name. There is a lot of pressure. Guess what? Take your time. Be you. I know that is easier said than done. I know that when everyone is doing it you think you should too but wait for him. I 100% guarantee there is someone special for you. Yes, it may takes years but wouldn't you rather give your whole heart to the right man than be unhappy with the wrong one? If you want to travel before marriage, do it. If you want to get a job (which I recommend) before getting married, then do it. Now is the time that you get to spoil yourself. Treat yourself.

You will find him. I know you are going to roll your eyes at this next statement but he will show up when you least expect it. He may already be a friend and you just haven't seen him in "that way" yet. He may be a complete stranger that you bump in to at the bar (me and R). Regardless, he loves you and is going to be the best match for you. He will compliment you. He will balance out your personality. He will make you smile daily. He will make life that much richer.

So push all the pressure aside. Do not let your mom, sister, friend or crazy co-worker make you feel bad for being single or unhitched. Just smile at them and nod. They were single once too. Let them know that you still get lots of you time. Let them see how successful you are. Do not let their words or the pressure of womanhood bring you down. If you do, it is okay. There will be days when you do wish you were married. Just know that is your heart preparing for your amazing future. You deserve bliss and one day it will happen. Until then celebrate who you are and the surreal life you are living. Celebrate your accomplishments. Celebrate your happy heart.

The good news is once you are married, the pressure is off. Well, it is off for about two weeks before the baby questions begin. Ah, life.

Real Love v. Book Love - Yeah, There is a Difference

{Braedon Photography via Green Wedding Shoes}

Tis true. Regardless of the mixed reviews, I have started reading 50 Shades of Grey. Now before you close this out tired from all the talk I wanted to share a few thoughts about the book and relationships. Gasp, another relationship talk. Buckle up folks and I won't give much away for those who haven't read the book yet.

I purchased the first book on my snazzy Kindle and read it in 3 days and now the second one in two. If I could have my head in a book, all day every day, I would. It really does make me happy. I read these books and they make you happy. They make you turned on. They make you a hopeless mess. They make you cry. Now while it did take a while for me to get into the book (for literary folks...it is bit rough/choppy), I love how well developed the characters become.

Surprised I am talking about such a steamy book on the blog? Well while I do find the book seductive (sorry mother) I also find it somewhat funny. Funny you say? I do find it funny because it is not all that realistic. Now hear me out. For years I have been reading romance novels. I have read stories of strong women who just happen upon the most incredible men. They fall in love. They over think love. They almost give up. They get back together with an exciting scene most involving something dangerous. They realize they can never be apart. They profess their love and live happily ever after.

I am the first to admit that when I started reading romance novels 24/7 I felt like I was given the wrong representation of real life love. Yes, I believe in the fairy tale but I also believe in what really happens in life. My relationship with Rusty has definitely been amazing. I love my husband and his heart but that doesn't mean that there were hard times to get where we are today. I also know realistically there will be more hard times ahead.

I want every woman to feel warm and fuzzy when it comes to her lover but I also want woman to be truthful. Every relationship is different. Make sure you know real life from book love. Book love is meant to be all roses while real love may have a few hiccups. While I want us woman to be smart, I do think the book has a great portrayal of not bringing past relationships into the mix (i.e. Mrs. Robinson). It isn't helpful. I also think the book is accurate when it comes to mixing lives. It takes a bit of an adjustment bringing two lives together.

While I like how intimate the book is some of it is just not real life. Yes, we have moments where behind closed doors is hot (most of the time). Yes, sometimes life is dramatic. Yes, sometimes we argue with our other half. Just remember that your relationship is your own. Don't compare it. Don't start it with guidelines in mind. Keep it fresh and if you want to be intimate on top of a desk....do it. Just make sure it is sturdy. Ha! Keep yourselves happy y'all.

I am the gal who observes things. Just hear me out...

1. They never brush their teeth. Well technically she borrows his toothbrush but lets be honest morning breath is not a turn on. I am more than happy to overlook it but it happens.

2. Do they ever pee? Just curious.

3. Time moves so much slower. They always have time to do stuff and the day just ticks by. I am lucky to have enough time in the day to shower, check my email, work and get 4 things checked off my to-do list.

4. Christian Grey is really wealthy. Just an observation. Really wealthy y'all but in the book he doesn't seem like he works that much. I mean he does work on Saturdays but I am a small business owner who works on Saturdays and I still don't make $100,000/hour. Some wedding video that would be.

5. They have sex up to 4 or 5 times a day. Who has time for that much sex? Who has enough energy for that much sex? How do they get anything done?

6. They always cook the best food. Stir fry. Salmon cakes. Chocolate cake. Lots of wine (which technically they didn't cook). I want to live in a love stories book kitchen.

7. The bicker...a lot. At times I find it exasperating and I flip forward a few pages just to escape it. I would tell any girlfriend or guy friend to take a chill pill if they argued that much with there significant other.

8. This is about to get personal but sometimes the sex and its location just make me chuckle. I am the first to admit that I find it exhilarating to be intimate with my husband but I also know that the time and location are real.

9. Does she ever style her hair? It just comes together perfectly every day. That just isn't fair. If only you could see my hair now?

I think that if you want romance all the time you have to give it all the time. Each person is different in relationships. Make sure you are with someone who makes you happy, romance book or not. Love is sweet and sensual but we also have to go to the grocery store and fill up our cars with gas.

See mom. I didn't talk to much about s-e-x. Yeah, I planned on talking about my September goals but who knew this book would make it into a post. What are your thoughts on the book? How is book love and real life love different to you? Now who will star as the all together steamy Christian Grey for the movie?

Q & A: Finding Happiness in Yourself & Relationships

It is a funny thing. I do love to blog about weddings and flowers and pretty but I get the biggest response about relationship posts. I know because it surprises me too. I am absolutely no expert on love but I have lived a little. I have also dated. I also have found an amazing man to spend my life with.

So the biggest thing that I have to catch up on for Thursday Q & A is relationship topics. I will try my best but can I repeat again that I am no expert. Sound advice time.

Q. I have been with the same man for quite sometime. Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am not. I seem to be in a funk. How do I know if I am sticking around for the right reasons? What do I do?

A. First, I hope I don't talk your ear off. I can confidentially say that each and every relationship is different. I feel your decision on what to do in your relationship is specific to you and may not be the same for another couple. You should also understand that your relationship is 100% different than everyone else so do not compare. Smiling pictures of a couple on Facebook doesn't equal a happy couple. Trust me.

Now that you are not comparing yourself to someone else you have to understand the next thing I am about to say. I have said it on this blog. I have preached it to my friends. I have learned it myself. I have a t-shirt that says it. Well maybe not that last thing but understand this: You cannot be the best you or offer all of yourself to another person until you are confident and happy with who you are and know what you stand for. I will say this until I am blue in the face. If you are not a confident woman, if you do not know who you are, if you do not have a sense of what your beliefs are then you will not be able to be 100% in a romantic relationship and that relationship will not satisfy you either. Yes, your sense of self will adapt over the years. Yes, your taste in style will change but you are who you are. You should be open to growth but regardless of all these factors, you should be happy.

If you are dating: Are you not seeing eye to eye with your other half? Are you enjoying your time with him or her? Are you smiling and feeling happy? Sometimes you think you are but I ask you to look a little deeper. If you are happy 100% I am so happy for you. If you are struggling, this relationship may not be for you. Here is the kicker: only you know the answer to whether your relationship is the right relationship. Be true to yourself. I was the gal whose best friends all got marries or engaged after college. I could have done that with the guy I was dating but thank goodness I didn't! I would have missed out on Rusty. You decide your fate and that should include a really good and dreamy guy.

{Benj Haisch via Green Wedding Shoes}

If you are married: This one is hard. I couldn't imagine marrying someone who didn't make me laugh 24/7 but I also know people change. Remember that things will change in your relationship but it should be for the better. Your taste for life may change but with that, your partner should be right there with you. If you aren't happy, try talking with a mutual party like a mentor or counselor. I believe that if both parties try your marriage can be a happy one. We are women and we are emotional. When you have a spat with your husband try to remember that it isn't the end of the world. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we think things are worse than they are. If things are truly bad then you need to try every possible resource to improving your partnership. You both should be happy and healthy!

SO what if the problem is not your relationship but your happiness? I understand. I know first hand what it is like to struggle with what you want to do in life. A few ideas for finding happiness: write down what you enjoy and go from there. If your list involves taking pictures maybe photography could be a new hobby. Try volunteering. I can guarantee that will bring you joy. A mother of three? Start a mommy and baby coffee house date or a book club. Find your outlet. I think sometimes we know what would make us happy but it may scare you a bit. It may seem bigger than you. That is good! Fight fear. Remember that you deserve happiness but you also have to be patient and strong when it comes to finding your niche.

I hope that this post makes sense. I truly believe that every woman can be smiling and that is what makes you beautiful ladies. Happy Thursday!

Q & A: How Can I Get Him to Help More?

Elizabeth Messina via 100 Layer Cake

So Thursday is already here. Sorry I was not around yesterday. I have been a tad under the weather lately. Apparently no rest and over doing things results in feeling yucky. Who would have thought that?

Typically I post a Q & A session on Friday mornings. Lately I have received so many kind comments on Q & A posts. Sometimes it is weird to know people are reading this blog. Yes, that is the whole point but when people let me know they are it kind of throws me. Thursday will now have a Q & A session so that Friday can be light and fluffy with Love Song Friday. The post may cover relationships, money, clothing, happiness, weddings or whatever your heart desires. Surprisingly the favorite question sessions have been focused more on relationships than wedding questions. Planning brides do not fret. I still plan to tackle those tough questions about lighting, cakes and bouquets.

For every woman you are in some kind of relationship. Regardless of where you are in life, whether planning your big day or 10 years married, we all go through similar situations. Now I am no relationship expert but I do know a thing or to about dating, love and life. I figure if I can help then why not?

Today's question is for any woman, wife, girlfriend or bride. Let's see, that covers every type of womanly species.

Q. How can I get my significant other to help more around the house?

A. Ladies and possibly 1 % of gentlemen, we have all dealt with this. Your husband comes home from work and wants dinner done. Don't forget the clean clothes and freshly dusted house. Sometimes I think our spouses or significant other doesn't mean to be an added stress but it can come across that way. Now this post is not a rant but before we continue any further if you are in a relationship now where the man does not help you around your house these are the best options for you. If you are married with this problem completely disregard these next two points and skip to the bottom.

1. Ask him for help. Kindly talk with him about pitching around the house a bit more. Be positive and uplifting. A loving man will agree to help. Do not nag. Stress how pitching in around the house will result in more time for you two to spend together or more time for him playing video games. Yes, the last thing may make you roll your eyes but regardless kindly ask for help.

2. If he continues to not help or is unresponsive, evaluate your relationship. Ladies, this is the man you are going to be with forever. This period you have dated is just a glimpse into your future. If no changes are made and no help is given, then know there is someone better. Plain and simple. Yes, that is harsh but you deserve a man who is going to give you their best. If talking to him a few times (kindly and encouraging) doesn't work and he shows no improvement you really should consider your future. Chances are there are serious issues in other areas of your relationship as well.

But Katie you can't be serious? Why yes I can. There is a man who can help you. I am not saying that he should do the laundry and mop the floors but he can help you dry the dishes and take out the trash. Times have changed. In the past woman did everything...and I mean everything. When we first moved here I did everything as well but I also didn't have a job. A man who is willing to help around the house is a form of respect. Every relationship needs equal respect to be healthy.

Now for the women who are married with a husband who is lagging behind, try these simple methods:

1. Again talk to him. There is a difference between communicating and nagging. If you need help with that I can give you assistance. Politely ask him. Shouting or pushing him continually will result in him never wanting to help. It helps to associate completed house work with how it will benefit him and you. Let him know how much you need him and his manly help.

2. Post-its. Write one word down and put it right where he can see it. Write DVD and put it near the TV so that he knows to pick up the DVD's that may be lying around. Don't take this as a free pass to write paint, cut, sweep, mop, dust, wash, mow and other tasks all over the place. Just to throw him off the post-it trail throw in a fun message every once in a while. A perfect example of a fun post-it in one word: lingerie. Promise he will like that.

3. Assign chores. Don't be afraid to write down what needs to be done every week and agree upon chores that each spouse will complete. It may seem like a small child getting their chore list but if you both know when things need to be done and who is doing what it makes for a smoother week and happier home.

4. Treat yourself. When it comes to yard work Rusty and I break up responsibility. He typically mows and I pull weeds. Regardless we work hard to get the job done...together. Afterwards we always treat ourselves. It may be a movie or a DQ blizzard but reward conquering your large tasks that just need to get done.

Regardless of how helpful he may be right now, ladies you must remember that men sometimes forget. Helping around the house is not natural for a majority of them. It takes time too. Always encourage him. Let him know how grateful you are for him. They put up with us!

Hope you find this post uplifting and not a drag. I want to encourage you and offer healthy solutions versus solutions that just don't work. If you have other suggestions, comment below! As for more questions, keep those coming too! I love answering your questions! Happy Thursday! :)

P.S. The picture posted at the top is just a peek at an insanely spicy and fabulous engagement session on 100 Layer Cake. Check out the rest for a little pick me up! Just click here friends!