September 6, 2012

Real Love v. Book Love - Yeah, There is a Difference

Tis true. Regardless of the mixed reviews, I have started reading 50 Shades of Grey. Now before you close this out tired from all the talk I wanted to share a few thoughts about the book and relationships. Gasp, another relationship talk. Buckle up folks and I won't give much away for those who haven't read the book yet.

I purchased the first book on my snazzy Kindle and read it in 3 days and now the second one in two. If I could have my head in a book, all day every day, I would. It really does make me happy. I read these books and they make you happy. They make you turned on. They make you a hopeless mess. They make you cry. Now while it did take a while for me to get into the book (for literary is bit rough/choppy), I love how well developed the characters become.

Surprised I am talking about such a steamy book on the blog? Well while I do find the book seductive (sorry mother) I also find it somewhat funny. Funny you say? I do find it funny because it is not all that realistic. Now hear me out. For years I have been reading romance novels. I have read stories of strong women who just happen upon the most incredible men. They fall in love. They over think love. They almost give up. They get back together with an exciting scene most involving something dangerous. They realize they can never be apart. They profess their love and live happily ever after.

I am the first to admit that when I started reading romance novels 24/7 I felt like I was given the wrong representation of real life love. Yes, I believe in the fairy tale but I also believe in what really happens in life. My relationship with Rusty has definitely been amazing. I love my husband and his heart but that doesn't mean that there were hard times to get where we are today. I also know realistically there will be more hard times ahead.

I want every woman to feel warm and fuzzy when it comes to her lover but I also want woman to be truthful. Every relationship is different. Make sure you know real life from book love. Book love is meant to be all roses while real love may have a few hiccups. While I want us woman to be smart, I do think the book has a great portrayal of not bringing past relationships into the mix (i.e. Mrs. Robinson). It isn't helpful. I also think the book is accurate when it comes to mixing lives. It takes a bit of an adjustment bringing two lives together.

While I like how intimate the book is some of it is just not real life. Yes, we have moments where behind closed doors is hot (most of the time). Yes, sometimes life is dramatic. Yes, sometimes we argue with our other half. Just remember that your relationship is your own. Don't compare it. Don't start it with guidelines in mind. Keep it fresh and if you want to be intimate on top of a it. Just make sure it is sturdy. Ha! Keep yourselves happy y'all.

I am the gal who observes things. Just hear me out...

1. They never brush their teeth. Well technically she borrows his toothbrush but lets be honest morning breath is not a turn on. I am more than happy to overlook it but it happens.

2. Do they ever pee? Just curious.

3. Time moves so much slower. They always have time to do stuff and the day just ticks by. I am lucky to have enough time in the day to shower, check my email, work and get 4 things checked off my to-do list.

4. Christian Grey is really wealthy. Just an observation. Really wealthy y'all but in the book he doesn't seem like he works that much. I mean he does work on Saturdays but I am a small business owner who works on Saturdays and I still don't make $100,000/hour. Some wedding video that would be.

5. They have sex up to 4 or 5 times a day. Who has time for that much sex? Who has enough energy for that much sex? How do they get anything done?

6. They always cook the best food. Stir fry. Salmon cakes. Chocolate cake. Lots of wine (which technically they didn't cook). I want to live in a love stories book kitchen.

7. The bicker...a lot. At times I find it exasperating and I flip forward a few pages just to escape it. I would tell any girlfriend or guy friend to take a chill pill if they argued that much with there significant other.

8. This is about to get personal but sometimes the sex and its location just make me chuckle. I am the first to admit that I find it exhilarating to be intimate with my husband but I also know that the time and location are real.

9. Does she ever style her hair? It just comes together perfectly every day. That just isn't fair. If only you could see my hair now?

I think that if you want romance all the time you have to give it all the time. Each person is different in relationships. Make sure you are with someone who makes you happy, romance book or not. Love is sweet and sensual but we also have to go to the grocery store and fill up our cars with gas.

See mom. I didn't talk to much about s-e-x. Yeah, I planned on talking about my September goals but who knew this book would make it into a post. What are your thoughts on the book? How is book love and real life love different to you? Now who will star as the all together steamy Christian Grey for the movie?


  1. I love this post, Katie. I laughed pretty much the whole way through it because it sounded like me. I love to read. I love romance novels. I'm a girl. It's like in our DNA. And your description of book love was SPOT ON. The things you picked up on in the 50 Shades books made me giggle because as I was reading them I was nodding my head and going yep, true, got that right!!! Lol. I will be the first to admit that when I read a book, any book (fiction obviously) that I completely lose myself in it. I see everything play out in my head. I create the characters and the scenarios so it's like I see everything going on as I'm reading. Is that weird? Maybe. But it's how I do :) And I think many times for us, as women, we like being able to lose ourselves in a book, escape from the day-to-day stuff and all that. And that there's many times we sit there and shake our heads and go "that's just not realistic". Other times, we sit there and think "how come my guy won't do that?" But we should never get so lost in a book that we forgot about what our "real relationship" is, how it works, what he does do, and so on. It's fun to get lost in a book, wrapped up in someone else's romance, but at the end of the day, the best romance is your own. The best story is yours. Because it's real. And that's what matters.

    1. I agree..Let's blame the DNA especially since reading is not a cheap hobby. lol I am the same way. I feel like the characters become my friends. I am glad we can bond on this level!

      Your line about the best story is yours...melt my heart. You are so right. I love your heart and I know that it is going to take a special, special man to sweep you off your feet. I can't wait for that day :)

  2. Ha! This reminds my of the old "Brady Bunch" where's the toilet concerns!

    Great post!

  3. This is great! I personally needed to read something like this today, lifted my spirits. Thank you!

    Carrie K
    Pure Lavish Events

    1. Anytime Carrie! Thank you for taking the time to read it! I love your blog by the way :)

  4. Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh and insight :)

    1. Anytime Tee Bee! Hugs to you and thank you for being such a loyal reader :)

  5. Love it...though I have to say, your mom is probably making that face!

  6. WEll I guess I should have signed my name above...As you can see, I tried to blog at one time but that is just not me!



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