September 13, 2012

Meeting a Man...Oh the Pressure

This post is for all the beautiful, single gals out there. Whether you are in a relationship, newly dating or browsing, this post is for you.

The other day I was walking into the grocery store with Rusty when we passed a lady with her two sons and daughter. She was getting the little girl loaded into the buggy when I heard her say, "You will need to find a husband first." And just like that the start of a cycle begins.

At first, I laughed because the girl was maybe 6 and her mom was just joking. I knew that but I started browsing the produce section and really thinking about what she said. This really is how it begins, I thought. I can remember from an early age what it was like feeling pressured to find "the one." My grandmother is 100% a southern, sassy belle. She was married by the ole ripe age of 19. I remember dating a boy in high school who my grandmother just knew I was going to marry. She would tell us all the time. Update: We didn't get married.

I feel as women the world around us is constantly changing. Not as many women get married in their teens anymore. The latest census shows that the median age of women getting married is 25. My grandmother would have a stroke if she knew. Women are building independent lives before deciding to settle down. Women are more prominent in business and politics. Women are amazing.

With all this marriage chit chat, I just feel so many ladies feel pressured to settle down. In college I had a core group of 5 gals that I always hung around with. Within a year of graduating college or soon after we graduated college, they were all married. All of them minus me of course. I was in a new relationship with my now husband but we still had things we wanted to do before making things official. I know each of my girlfriends are in happy, healthy relationships and that was the next step. For many girls leaving college it is the "thing" to do.

Now back to the lady at the grocery store, I know she meant no harm to her daughter but the doubt in your self builds. When all of your friends are getting married, you start to question what you are doing. Your mom is asking who you are dating. Your grandmother is wanting to get you monogrammed towels but needs to know your unknown husbands last name. There is a lot of pressure. Guess what? Take your time. Be you. I know that is easier said than done. I know that when everyone is doing it you think you should too but wait for him. I 100% guarantee there is someone special for you. Yes, it may takes years but wouldn't you rather give your whole heart to the right man than be unhappy with the wrong one? If you want to travel before marriage, do it. If you want to get a job (which I recommend) before getting married, then do it. Now is the time that you get to spoil yourself. Treat yourself.

You will find him. I know you are going to roll your eyes at this next statement but he will show up when you least expect it. He may already be a friend and you just haven't seen him in "that way" yet. He may be a complete stranger that you bump in to at the bar (me and R). Regardless, he loves you and is going to be the best match for you. He will compliment you. He will balance out your personality. He will make you smile daily. He will make life that much richer.

So push all the pressure aside. Do not let your mom, sister, friend or crazy co-worker make you feel bad for being single or unhitched. Just smile at them and nod. They were single once too. Let them know that you still get lots of you time. Let them see how successful you are. Do not let their words or the pressure of womanhood bring you down. If you do, it is okay. There will be days when you do wish you were married. Just know that is your heart preparing for your amazing future. You deserve bliss and one day it will happen. Until then celebrate who you are and the surreal life you are living. Celebrate your accomplishments. Celebrate your happy heart.

The good news is once you are married, the pressure is off. Well, it is off for about two weeks before the baby questions begin. Ah, life.

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