Oh, Those RSVP cards

Happy Thursday! Strike up the chorus because today we are relishing in Q & A Thursday. Can I just say that I am thankful for reader interaction? It keeps this bloggity blog going. Today we are talking RSVP cards. Who is with me?

Q. Are RSVP cards necessary? I have heard stories of brides who never receive them back which seems like a waste of wedding funds. Do I need them? I need your help!

A. I may not be the best with this one but I sure will try. To be honest, RSVP cards leave a sour taste in my mouth because I am one of those brides who sent them out and maybe half that were sent did not get returned. Some of our dearest friends didn't even send them back. The number of RSVP cards returned to the number of guests in attendance was not even close.

With this being said, RSVP cards are a wonderful thing if put to use. They help you get an accurate head count which helps with cake size, food arrangements and pretty seating charts. But what can you do to get them back?

{Tips for being a sure fire success with RSVP cards}

1. Send it out in plenty of time. This may seem obvious but people need time to send their RSVP back. Your wedding invitations should be sent out two+ months from your wedding date. I have received RSVP cards that need a response in one week. Give your guests time. Most guests have to check their schedule, arrange a babysitter and make travel arrangements. Allow a reasonable time frame on guest's responses.

2. Put a stamp on it. Nothing drives me up the wall more than a wedding RSVP with no stamp. If you want something back, make it as easy as possible. Yes, postage costs money but put that in your budget when setting aside paper good funds. I can guarantee that a majority of your guests will not take the time to stamp the RSVP. Make it easy peasy!

3. Make the card clear. State your intentions clearly. Make sure you provide a response date and if need be, a spot for the guests who will be in attendance {i.e. place cards or seating charts}. Make sure the yes and no option are prominent and easy to understand.

4. Have you considered other options? If you are wary of RSVP cards, try a different route. You can always forgo them all together. If you do, make sure you provide enough wedding seating and food for your guest list. A lot of brides are turning to wedding websites with an RSVP option. It allows guests to do everything online while browsing your site plus saves you postage. Get creative! The great thing about RSVP cards is no one says you have to send them out but in most cases it helps make things a little smoother. Make your own rules!

5. Ask for participation. We attended a wedding this past December where the RSVP card asked for your favorite song request. I thought this was brilliant! It allowed guests to get excited by playing an active role in planning the wedding playlist. It was beyond fun to dance to my song request at the reception. By getting guests active, they are more eager to send back their RSVP. Try an RSVP card with a mad lib or a spot for guests to write their advice for a successful marriage. Guests already feel a part of your special day before it even happens.

6. Make it different. I got a wedding invitation a few years back that was a long (almost 2 feet) with a bunch of fabulous graphics and fonts describing how the couple met. It was so neat! I actually still have it because I was so impressed. Their RSVP card was just as unique and playful. It gave you the option of yes you will be attending with your dancing shoes or no you will not attending the party of the year. The card made me laugh and who would miss the party of the year? Exactly. Make your RSVP unique. Try something that most brides haven't and do not be afraid to mix it up. It can help in getting guests to send them back.

Regardless of what you decide with RSVP cards, remember to not let this little detail frustrate you. Any other bride's to be or married ladies have more advice? Shout it out or comment below. Either one works. Ha! Happy Q & A Thursday!

Photos via The Indigo Bunting

Q & A: How to Gift the Correct Way

{Camille Styles}

Happy Thursday friends! I am happy to be here and blogging. Even more so, I am glad that you made it back today. If you are new, hi there! A week or so ago, I received the email below in my inbox and it of coursed sparked today's Q & A session.

Q. Hi Katie! I don't usually send emails to blogs, but I came across yours and I wanted your opinion on something. So here's the story:

I was at a wedding at the bride's father's country club so you know he paid a pretty, shiny penny for his little girl. "David" comes up to me and asks if I could break a twenty. I didn't so he went up to the bar, ordered a beer and got a $10 bill. He then proceeds to hand the money to his wife, who then places the $10 in a card and seals it up. I was so shocked, embarrassed and a bit upset to see this. Listen, I'm not saying they MUST bring a gift and sometimes money is an issue. I get it. But $10?! $10?! At that rate, just say no thank you and don't show up! Of course they proceeded to eat, drink and be merry for the rest of the night. Am I being a snob? This happened months ago and I'm still peeved!

-Veronica

A. Valerie, let me start by saying I love your banter. I know that if we lived near one another we would be besties (and I don't even like that word). It is so good to hear from you and I love that you took the time to email me. Now for your question:

You are not a snob, not one bit. I think I would react the way that you did. Shock, irritation and my mouth hanging open thinking did I really just watch that? As an one time planning bride, it would offended me but luckily the bride didn't see the exchange.

I do not want to come across as a snooty blogger. Any type of gift is such a blessing (including $10) and I know that as a bride I was just happy to have everyone there regardless of if they gave us a gift. I knew that not everyone would give us a present and that isn't the point of why we got married. The problem is making change at the bar for the gift and filling out your card at the reception. Sometimes I think people have lost their manners. On a positive note, that is one thing I hope to do with my blog, educate others. All we can do is kill people with kindness and treat them with the respect that we expect in return. Here are a few ideas for new couples or gifts to take with you to the wedding:

1. Gift cards. Some people may think this is tacky but I loved getting gift cards. Rusty and I didn't spend money eating out for months into our marriage and didn't pay a dime for groceries for a month or two (and that is with a monthly budget of $300 for groceries). Gift cards are easy and putting it in a fun card with a sweet note is a great gift! We also liked the idea of having a prepaid Visa that we were able to use how we wanted and were not restricted to use it at one store.

2. Something thoughtful or homemade. I love gifts like this. Gift the couple with a paperback journal to record their favorite moments in or a painting of the city where they met. Let your gift have meaning. These were my favorite. Hands down.

3. The official registry is always good. The registry will never let you down. Stores make it beyond easy to order online or pick out in store.

I was taught to always give abundantly. My mother instilled that in me and I love passing along love through a present. I am the type of person who searches until I find the perfect gift for someone. Try your best to already have the gift ready to go and wrapped before you arrive at the wedding. Throwing a ten into a card at the wedding reception is not appropriate. You are a guest that has been paid for by this sweet couple/family so act accordingly. Have fun, let your hair down, celebrate a beautiful marriage but remember to be courteous of the couple and the time they have spent to make this wedding happen.

I hope this helps with your question Valerie. Anyone else want to add? Leave your comments below! Happy Thursday lovelies!

Q & A: Can You Help With Shower Etiquette?

{Katie Neal Photo via Green Wedding Shoes}

It is Thursday. Today is a Katie day. A Katie day includes reading too many blogs (it is something I could do all day long), touching up my pedicure, drinking two cups of coffee, cuddling my pup and not working for one day. I say that but I know better. I think I would be lost without the emails, editing software and my phone ringing.

But before I can enjoy my relaxation I am here to tackle today's Q & A session. One of my dear friends sent me a little email:

Q. A few months ago I was invited to a bridal shower. I went, took a gift and hugged the bride. She knew I was there. I just realized the other day that the wedding has come and gone. The problem is I never got an invitation to the wedding. Is that okay? I just feel like if I was invited to a shower, I should have been invited to the wedding.

A. This is so sad. I do not want to defend this bride but surely something happened to your invitation in the mail. Maybe she sent it by pigeon carrier and the pigeon didn't make it. Regardless, you are right. This is a BIG no no. No bride should ever invite you to a shower with the intention of not inviting you to the wedding. I know showers are not just about gifts but taking a gift and then not inviting those people to celebrate your marriage is just wrong.

Ladies, brides, bridesmaids, make sure you do not let this happen. I know between all the showers, planning, different invitation list of guests, things may get mixed up but be on top of this. It is just....rude. People want to gift you with goodies and words of wisdom at your shower but even more so they want to celebrate your nuptials.

If you are victim of this scenario, I hate to say it but there really is nothing you can do except hope that wedding bloggers can better educate brides. Ha! Wish the bride well and really try to be excited for her. For more on shower questions, check out these posts here, here and here. Happy Thursday loves!