Q & A: How to Deal with Other Bridesmaids?

{Aaron Young Photography via Green Wedding Shoes}

Well hot dog. It is already Thursday. This week is zooming by but you know what today brings. Q & A Thursday y'all.

It is no secret that I have been a bridesmaids 1, 256 7 times. With that many weddings under my belt, I have a bit of experience. Maybe they should create a bridesmaid for hire to keep the other gals in line. I would dominate plus I know how to throw an awesome shower. But enough about the weird skills you acquire from being in too many weddings. If you want some pointers, here, here, here, here and here are a weeks worth of posts that cover every topic from finances of being in the wedding to planning the best bachelorette party ever.

I got this question in my inbox from a dear friend.

Q. I am so excited for my best friends wedding. We are having so much fun getting to plan her big day. I like all of the bridesmaids but am having a hard time with a few things. First, she asked me to be her matron of honor. I have started brainstorming with the other bridesmaids about her bachelorette party. One girl is really wanting to go to New Orleans around Mardi Gras. I think that is a great idea and wish we all could but I am running in to budgeting problems. 3/4's of the gals in the wedding party are teachers. We live on budgets and discussed about the price point for all of us going. While New Orleans would be nice, visiting the city that time of year is just not realistic but that one bridesmaid just will not let it go. Second, the same girl is really taking over. While I love having help especially since I live in a different state than the bride, I do want to help plan too. I know a majority of the times the Matron of Honor helps with a shower and or a bridal luncheon. I just feel like I should have control of planning and ask for their help financially and with the details. What can I do to nicely tell this girl to back off. She hasn't even really asked the bride what she wants. I don't want to hurt her feelings though.

A. Oh the handful bridesmaid. Almost every wedding party has one. On a positive note, how exciting to be planning your best friends wedding and all the moments leading up to it. This is such a special time. Make the most of it! While other bridesmaids may be driving you crazy here are a few suggestions:

1. Ask the bride. Talk to the bride. See what she wants for her bachelorette and bridal brunch/shower. She is the best source. Keep her in mind in everything you do and say throughout this whole process. Regardless of the women in the bridal party (helpful, overbearing or extremely sweet), the ultimate goal is to make your best friend feel special.

2. Get all the ladies together and talk/discuss. I know that not everyone is going to agree on locations or shower invites but at least it gives every one a goal or a task. I know being in weddings you naturally want to help. This lets each gal showcase her talents. If the bridesmaid is driving you nuts then assign her a task that she is awesome at. For example, if she is really good at decorating, put her on the hunt for must have decor for the bridal shower or have her be in charge of buying the decor for the lingerie shower. Give her a task that will keep her occupied and out of your hair.

3. Chances are if she is driving you crazy, the bride has had about enough too. In other words, keep your focus on the bride. Make her feel special. Do all you can to make her months of planning less stressful. She needs it!

4. When all else fails with keep this out of control bridesmaid in line, tell her to back off (in a nice way of course). The thing about me is I am all for honesty. If you are all for honesty that means if you give it you are going to get it back too. You may just have to have a sit down with the bridesmaid and tell her to relax. As women, a lot of the time we do not even realize what we are doing is wrong. Be kind but stress the important part of slowing down a bit and if this makes you the bad guy for saying something then you may have to play the role. Do what you know is right and respectful.

I hope that helps with answering your question. The biggest things is make the bride happy and everything else will fall into place. Happy Thursday friends!

Blogiversary Week: Checking Things Off

Are you guys enjoying Blogiversary week yet? Yeah, Lovebird Productions turns 1 on Saturday but this week we are celebrating! If I could pop a bottle of Champagne with y'all I would. We can do a virtual cheers! So far we have seen what it takes to keep this blog running each day and also watched a video of 20 questions. I have loved getting to share more about me and my life. Once this week is up I plan on getting back to bridal business of course.

Many of you remember this post here about my best friends engagement. This past weekend I traveled back to Jonesboro for a wedding (that may have topped all weddings). Each time I film a wedding in Jonesboro I get to have a sleepover with sweet Rachel. It is a highlight for me. We might have talked in bed and read magazines on Saturday night. Just maybe. It was a late night for me but Rachel stayed up to talk. Yeah, she is great.

Before I continue with this story I must share a side note. A while back I wrote this post that I read quite often about goals I want to complete by 30. I promise this little blurb will make sense in a minute. Back to the story...

We had made plans to do a little bit of wedding talk and browsing when I got to town on Friday afternoon. I got to her house and she said that she had a gift for me. I love presents so of course I was immediately excited. I opened my gift to find a tube of red lipstick. Rachel then asked me to be her maid of honor. We hugged and cried! I cannot believe I get to be her maid of honor! I am so excited!

The reason red lipstick is such a big deal is because of my 33 by 30 post I want to wear red lipstick to an event or party. Rachel bought me the red lips to wear at her wedding. Isn't she the sweetest? That is a true friend. I tried out the red lipstick yesterday. It definitely takes some getting use to. ha!

Hi. My name is Katie and I need a tan. Also with Rachel's wedding I am getting to check another thing of my before 30 list. I will be helping plan her big day. I am getting to put things together of course with the help of the bride. I am excited to be a maid of honor plus wedding planner all while wearing red lipstick.

Since I have been given these duties I may need to freshen up on these posts about being the maid of honor here, here, here, here and here. I am so excited and blessed! What do you guys think of the red lips?

The Best Part: Being a Maid of Honor: Part 5

Well we have reached Friday. Are you dancing in your seat? This week we have covered standard protocol, discussed finances, planned a shower, partied at the bachelorette party and today we are talking about you. Yes you! For months now, you have been giving your all to planning your best friends wedding. You have talked her off the edge, tasted too many cakes, obsessed over flowers, listened to her vent, been to every fitting, researched the perfect honeymoon, planned a stunning wedding shower, partied in Vegas (I am sure that part was easy) and just rocked the ceremony and reception. Now what is a girl to do?

That's simple. Have F-U-N! This is your time. You deserve it! Let me help you out with ideas to celebrate rocking your job as maid of honor:

1. Get rid of your bridesmaid dress. I know...shocking. You paid $90+ for this dress and you want me to get rid of it? You really think you are going to wear it again? Try giving it to your niece or cousin to play dress up in. You can also give it to charity or donate it to a Goodwill/Salvation Army. You can also check out these websites for more ideas: princessproject.org and glassslipperproject.org. Unless you are going to wear the dress again, toss it which brings me to point #2.

2. Treat yourself to a new outfit! That is if you haven't broken the bank with the wedding. Hopefully you didn't have to spend all the money that you budgeted for the wedding. Take a day to go shopping at your favorite stores. Have fun treating yourself! Plan a special occasion to wear your new outfit too! Whether it is dancing with your girlfriends or finally having time to try that first date with Mr. Handsome.

3. Plan a mini vacation or a BIG vacation! Who says that the bride is the only one who deserves a fun trip? Plan a weekend trip to the lake, a romantic getaway to the mountains, a fun day trip to an amusement park or a week long vacation at the beach. Toes in the sand, fruity drink in hand while catching a sun kissed glow. Umm..yes please!

4. Spa day! Treat yourself to a day at the spa. Get a massage plus a nice facial. If a spa day is not in the budget, make time at home to paint your toenails, do a deep scalp treatment while drinking a glass of wine and watching chick flicks.

5. Take time for Y-O-U. I am serious. For women, I feel this is the hardest thing for us to do. The whole reason for this post is that you make time for yourself. You have worked hard and deserve to spoil yourself a bit. Whether you indulge yourself for a day or a week, just agree to do it.

I hope that these past few days have been enjoyable and somewhat educational. Being a maid of honor or bridesmaid is a big responsibility but with good direction, a realistic budget and a positive attitude you can rock the job!

Please feel free to email me @ lovebirdproduction@gmail.com or comment below! I love hearing from you! Check back this afternoon for Love Song Friday!

Party Time: Being a Maid of Honor: Part 4

Part 4...yeah I could go on and on about being in the bridal party. I know that some people may know everything their is to know about being a bridesmaid but I have been a bridesmaid six times and I still feel like I learn new things.

Today's topic is F-U-N! Drum roll....Bachelorette Party Time!

Planning the bachelorette party is something that I loved doing for Summer. I also had the help of all the other bridesmaids and close friends! Between that many girls you are destined to have a GREAT time! My bachelorette party (pictured above) took place in Nashville. We danced, hung out poolside, had fabulous fruity drinks, giggled and relaxed. You too can plan an awesome bachelorette party with these helpful tips!

1. Consult the bride. Asking the bride what her expectations are is very important. For my party I wanted to get all the girls together in one location because we were all scattered around. I also wanted to do something small with just my closest friends and have my lingerie party then as well. It is important to know exactly what the bride wants. Does she want to visit a big city? Does she want to keep it low key and just do dinner with her closest friends? Is she expecting a weekend getaway or a one night shebang?

2. Who Plans and Who Pays? The role of planning the bachelorette party relies on the entire bridal party but the maid of honor normally takes the lead. When it comes to who pays, the bridal party is responsible plus the consider all the women who attend. With my party, all the girls split the costs of the rooms once a final RSVP count was done. Also consider paying the brides way. The party is about her and even though you have bought numerous gifts and hosted showers you should still cover costs for the bride.

3. Who is Invited? The bridal party is always included. This ranges from the bridesmaids to the ones who hand out programs. You should also include any family members i.e. the grooms or brides sisters. When it comes to close friends who are not in the wedding party consult with the bride.You want to make sure you have a good mix of friends!

4. Invitations. Invitations for a bachelorette party are not a necessity. I would suggest invitations though if you are going away for a weekend or are having the lingerie party during the bachelorette party. You can always send invitations through the mail, via email or social networking. Regardless of how you send them, remember to include the date, time, location, the brides sizes (if having lingerie shower) and dress attire. For example, if you are starting your day at the spa and then having a fancy dinner tell guests to dress very casual for the day and bring a change of formal attire for dinner. Also, if you need a head count include an RSVP cutoff date.

5. When do we have the party? This is up to you! Most bachelorette parties are held one to three weeks before the wedding. If you are going out of town, the schedule is up to you and the bride. If the guests of the party all live far away, you could have the festivities mid week before the wedding weekend begins. Try to have the party the same time as the bachelor party so the bride is not sitting around wondering what the boys are doing! Also, remember not to have the party before a big event like bridal portraits or the actual wedding.

Here are some fun themes and party ideas:
1. Colorful wigs - I LOVE this idea. How fun is it to not worry about your hair and have a different identity for the night? LOVE!

2. All black for the girls and colorful for the bride - As you can see from the picture above that is what we did for my bachelorette party and I thought the idea was genius! All the girls wore black while I got to add a pop of color! Their cute crowns matched me perfectly which was surprisingly unplanned!

3. Go Boating - Rent a boat and head out on the water! Pack dinner for everyone or even get someone to cater. Relax on the water, go for a swim plus catch some rays!

4. Go to the Races. I love the idea of getting dolled up with fun jewels and big floppy hats while sipping martini's at the horse races.

If staying Home...
1. Spa night - Everyone can come over dressed in their pj's while you ladies drink wine, get a facial plus sit around and giggle together. You can even have an old fashioned sleepover. When is the last time you did that?

2. Backyard Cookout - Invite the girls over for a nice family dinner. Divide up who brings what side dishes and desserts while you grill out in the backyard. This is fun and so memorable!

3. Boys Night - Say what? I mean do boy things like sit at home, play poker and drink scotch. Maybe even chest bump?

No matter what type of bachelorette party you plan for the bride you are guruanteed to have a blast!

If you have any suggestions or advice on the perfect girl party, email me @ lovebirdproduction@gmail.com or comment below!

Wedding Shower Hosting 101: Being a Maid of Honor: Part 3

Well this week is flying by! Like I have mentioned any and all tips that I have shared this week can be used for bridesmaids and Maid/Matron's of Honor. I think when you are asked to be apart of the bridal party you should do your best but sometimes we just don't know what to do. Don't stress! These tips and reminders are to help you. So far we have covered finances involved with being in a wedding here and a checklist of tips for playing the part here.

Today I wanted to discuss throwing the best wedding shower ever. When being the maid of honor, your responsibility is to host the wedding shower. You can always have close friends of the bride and the other bridesmaids help with hosting but you are in charge. Grab your clipboard, make a game plan, hand out responsibilities and get your wedding shower face on. It's time to plan!

The wedding shower should leave the bride with fabulous gifts and a lots of fun memories. With these type of expectations, where do you begin? First, try to decide what type of event the bride would enjoy most. What type of bridal shower fits her personality plus the needs of the bride (as in the gifts she needs)? For example, if the bride is really into cooking, hosting a pounding or a kitchen themed shower is where to start. It doesn't have to be the same ol' boring shower. You can make any theme fun and creative!

Second, location, location, location. Their is nothing wrong with hosting the shower at your house or a friends home but make sure that the potential number of guests will be accommodated for. You want guests to have plenty of space to park and move around in your home. If you have pets, even though they will not be making an appearance at the shower, make sure that the bride and guests are aware of pets. Some are highly allergic to pets even if fluffy is the cutest dog ever!

If you are wanting to host the shower somewhere else here are a few ideas. You can try a historic landmark building if you live near a neat one or even an old estate. Old estate homes are perfect and full of southern goodness. How about a boat? Yes it is extravagant and daring but I think it is such a fun idea! You can try an art gallery or the rooftop of a building in your downtown. Regardless of the venue you chose you need to make sure you follow a few rules of thumb.

1. Never book a place you haven't toured. You want to make sure the place is just right and the Internet may not be a good judge of character.

2. If you choose a restaurant, make sure you sample the food if you choose their catering. With some restaurants, if you do not choose their catering it can be more expensive to bring someone in to do the food.

3. Make sure you get privacy at your venue. Plus know exactly where your party will be in the venue. You do not want to have a shower right in the entrance of the restaurant and have onlookers watching the bride open gifts. Awkward!

4. Make sure if at a restaurant that you have your own wait staff. This is important no matter the size of the shower. Also, if their is a final bill, make sure they discuss it with you discretely.

Now that you have your theme and location, let's cover a few other things that are important!

1. Guest Lists - Before you pick the venue, already have an idea of how many guests are on the bride's list. Even though everyone will not attend make sure you can accommodate everyone. Also have an idea of possible guests because if it includes around 50 people, dinner at the brides favorite restaurant may be out of the budget.

2. Who pays? If you are hosting the shower, you pay. If 10 women decide to help host, split the costs 10 ways. This helps so much! Even though you are all contributing financially to the shower, you still needs to give a gift either individually or as a group. Have the hosts keep their receipts and crunch numbers once the guests have left the shower.

3. How long should the party last? You do not want to watch the bride open gifts for hours so set a scheduled time and include that on the shower invitation. Most showers are two to three hours long.

4. How do we decide on the theme of the shower? Theme is very important. To help decide the theme, coordinate with the type of shower the bride needs. When deciding the theme, remember to think of a few things. What type of wedding the bride is planning? If she is planning a fun and quirky wedding, the wedding shower theme should correspond. What is the personality of the bride? If she is really shy, embarrassing games are not appropriate for her shower. How did she meet the groom? You can always incorporate how they met with the location and theme.

5. Timeline of sending out the invitations - You should send invitations four weeks prior to the event. A written invitation by mail allows guests to see the theme plus RSVP. It is also is a great keepsake for the bride. Designate one person to handle RSVP's. Most invitations include a number or email address. Your invitation should also include the words "wedding shower" somewhere on it, the location, bride, time, date by which to RSVP and the host names are optional. Some people say it is bad etiquette to include where the bride is registered but it is up to the hosts.

6. Make sure you set things in stone.  Things that need to be finalized are location, theme, hosts, menu, gift from hosts or yourself, time, invitations, cake, guests lists plus RSVP's and decorations.

7. Have fun! Make sure to enjoy this time. With planning in advance and organization, their is no reason you shouldn't enjoy your time with the bride!

These tips are just a few for planning the perfect wedding shower! Feel free to include any other tips or advice for brides, bridesmaids and the maid of honor!

Ooo Finances! Being a Maid of Honor: Part 2

 Photo Source: Earl Photography

Being asked to be apart of your best friends wedding day is such a special thing but it can also cause stress when you think about how much it costs. Girls always kid that they need to take out a loan to be in a wedding. Yesterday we covered responsibilities here but today I wanted to look at expenses of a maid of honor or bridesmaid plus also point out ways to save money.

Things that you should pay for:

1. Your wedding day attire - On the day of the wedding you will be sporting a cute dress (that can later be cut off to wear shorter of course) that doesn't have to break your bank account. More than likely you will have matching shoes and accessories.
Ways to Save: Encourage your bride to shop at a big name bridal store. Stores like David's Bridal usually offer big sales. Most bridesmaids can get a percentage off of their dress by shopping during their seasonal sales. If your bride does not shop at a brand name store, try asking the bridal store associates if the wedding party can get a discount on your attire. I purchased my dress at a small store and they offered my bridal party 20% off of their dresses because I spent an allotted amount at their store. Every penny helps. If the bride asks your opinion, you can always suggest she give your jewelry or nail appointments as a wedding gift to the bridal party.

2. Wedding Showers and Bachelor Party - These can run a big cost. Bachelorette parties seem to become more and more extravagant. With the title of Maid of Honor, you will be hosting a shower and planning the bachelorette party.
Ways to Save: With any event, get more hostesses involved. The more people hosting the party = the lower the cost of expenses. Do not be afraid to ask others for decor. You can always get creative! When it comes to the bachelorette party, their are plenty of websites that offer cheaper hotels rates like Expedia and Priceline plus just like showers, the more who come and help the cheaper the costs. Plan in advance too! You can always score good discounts that way. Mention to the hotel you are a big group and they could even offer a discounted rate. Never hurts to ask.

3. Gifts - Oh goodness. You mean on top of spending my life savings to be in the wedding I need to give them numerous gifts. Proper etiquette is to give an engagement gift, shower gift and wedding present. If you are invited to multiple wedding showers, you only give a gift at the first shower. Typically you should double what you give each time you give. For example, if you spend $20 on the engagement gift, the shower gift should be $40 and the wedding $80. Yes, this is a lot. That is why you quit panicking and keep reading.
Ways to Save: When it comes to gift giving, do no be afraid to give with a group. If you want to have all the bridesmaid chip in and get a wedding gift for the day of the wedding, $80 all together is great! You can always make something. You could help by starting a scrapbook for the bride or creating a fun wedding keepsake box. You can also offer your services. If you are an extraordinary baker, offer to make fun cookies for the reception's dessert table.

4. Beauty: Hair, nails, makeup and more - Your bride may prefer that everyone wears their hair a certain way. Do not panic if you can't afford the cost of a $50 updo.
Ways to Save: Do your own hair. Practice in advance! You can cut costs by doing your own hair, make up and nails. Doing it yourself also saves time for you to help the bride!

5. Unexpected Costs - Watch your budget.  Unexpected things can creep into your budget like a bridesmaid forgetting the cheese tray for the shower or the bride not remembering her Crest white strips the night before the wedding.
Ways to Save: When planning for the wedding, set aside a little extra money just in case. Having the mind set that you may go over will ease the blow when you are $30 over budget. You can do this!

These tips are pretty simple but it always helps to be prepared financially for your best friends big day. You shouldn't have to worry about costs but instead enjoy your time with the bride!

Being a Maid/Matron of Honor: Part 1

I'm Back! That is right! Have no more Monday worries because I am now able to post all the time. It has never felt better to login to blogger and start typing. I have a large smile on my face and am dancing around the room. You are welcome for that mental image.

This week I wanted to focus my attention on one leading lady crucial for most weddings, the Maid of Honor. Most girls have been bridesmaids but being a maid of honor has some higher expectations. Yes, that is me with my dear friend Summer. Even thought I have been a bridesmaids numerous times, I have only been a maid of honor once. I wish I could say that I was a professional with my utmost title but I feel their are still lessons I am learning from my best friends wedding. When Summer asked me to be her maid of honor, she gave me a helpful handbook written by Kathy Passero. I have taken a lot of advice from this book and am hoping that the tips I share with you can help in your abilities to be your best in all weddings.

Some of these tips are pretty simple but always a good reminder plus they can also be applied to all bridesmaids too! Not every wedding has a maid of honor.

Prewedding Tips:

1. Attend all events - This includes the engagement party and showers. The bride will need you to be by her side helping her through each event. Most brides have three plus events which means you can help with picking out her outfit, assisting with advice on hostess gifts, providimg a record of who gave what gifts and even help with thank you notes.

2. Remain positive and upbeat - Lets face it. Planning a wedding is stressful. Help the bride with encouraging her! Each time she calls, remain positive and cheery. She needs it plus you are the one she chose to be a bridesmaid and/or maid of honor! Duty calls!

3. Take the lead in organizing a shower - Any maid of honor should expect to host a shower. You can recruit the other bridesmaids to help in expenses and planning.

4. Show up for your fittings plus pay for all your expenses - These expenses can include your dress, shows, accessories plus any other expenses like hotel accommodations for the wedding. Attending any fittings that the bride has scheduled for your dress is important. Make sure you are prompt and eager to help with her fittings and your own. By being active in the wedding planning process, your bride can feel your support and know that she is important to you.

5. Be ready to step in whenever needed - Yes, even if the bride has called 7 times already in the past hour. If she needs you to help address invitations or select wedding favors, get to it. She needs you. You are her sanity.

Wedding Whirlwind Tips:

1. Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner - For most, this is a given but make sure you are early as well. Never be the reason the bride is having to wait to start her rehearsal.

2. Make a toast at the rehearsal (Optional)

3. Run any last minute errands or perform any last minute tasks - For example, if the bride forgets to assemble the place cards for the reception let her know that you will take care of it. The night before weddings can be stressful but most brides have things completed. Occasionally you have a chaotic bride and end up creating the wedding program at 2 a.m. then going to a 24 hour Kinko's to make copies. True story. Right Laura?

4. Again stay positive - You have your bride dressed, are posing for pictures in uncomfortable heels, dealing with the crying bridesmaids but keep that smile on. The bride needs your upbeat spirit to shine through!

5. Keep the bride calm - On my wedding day, people kept coming in and out of the brides dressing room. I was a nervous wreck and the last thing I wanted were people coming in and out, in and out. My bridesmaids, without a word from me, put a stop to it. Do whatever the bride needs. It is surprising what bothers you or adds more stress the day of your wedding.

Ceremony:

1. Straighten the bride's train and veil - It drives me crazy when wedding parties do not do that. The bride can't see to do that. You do not have to make a big distraction but gently fix things.

2. Hold the bouquet during the ceremony - Make sure to return it for the recessional too!

3. Perform any tasks in preparation for the reception - If your bouquet is going to be used in a centerpiece, make sure to take all the bridesmaids bouquets, transport them to the reception and placed in the proper vases.

Reception:

1. Bustle the bride's train

2. Participate in wedding party dance if asked to - Shake your groove thing!

3. Try to stay sober and help with any situations that arise - Yes, more than likely someone is going to spill their drink or drop their glass on the dance floor. Be ready to help out and clean up!

4. At the bride's request, take her gown to the dry cleaners - This is such a big help!

5. Transport any gifts after the reception - A lot of people bring gifts to the wedding. Make sure you help get them to the bride's house or you can keep them until the bride gets back from her honeymoon.

I hope that some of the tips are helpful. Tomorrow I will cover the costs of being a bridesmaid. I promise to make it fun!

Happy Monday!