August 12, 2014

Why We Chose A Birth Plan

I want to preface this post with the fact that no woman has the same labor and delivery. No experience is the same and I love that. This post is in no way meant to be smug to other mothers. I just wanted to share why we as a family chose to write a birth plan. I am learning that birth is a touchy subject for everyone and a majority of mums have an opinion on the subject. More power to all! I want this to be encouraging and enlightening. With that being said...

When I first found out I was pregnant the first thing a lot of mums suggested was that I watch the documentary titled The Business of Being Born. I know. Most expecting mothers have seen this and it may seem cliche. But here is my biggest thing about our birth plan: 75% of the things on our plan already take place in our hospital. We have had so many people say things like don't go in with expectations or throw that birth plan out the window because it doesn't happen that way when in reality they have never read our plan.

Yes, there are quite a few things that are not done that we are requesting on our plan. For example, no eye gunk (the shiny stuff around the babes eyes) after he is born. It is used for moms who could potentially have STD's that could pass to their child through the eyes. Well, Rusty and I are clean so we want to opt out of that. We are also asking for no paci in the nursery due to nipple confusion. I am not saying we will not ever use a paci but until baby is a pro at nursery we do not want an artificial nipple in his mouth.

So why did we chose to write a birth plan? Well, there are a few reasons as to why. And of course I put them in a list. :) Again this post is to just share our thoughts on labor. Yes, we realize they could change after baby number one but we are confident in our plan. So here goes...

1. It got Rusty and I talking. We had no idea what we wanted or expected out of our birth but we realized we should have expectations for our time in the hospital. Making a birth plan got us talking. Now my husband is not that particular about our birthing experience. A birth plan though helped him realize his role for our labor and what I need of him. It helped us talk through scenarios. It ultimately helped us to communicate better. And I am all for that.

2. It made us more comfortable with our doctor. I adore our doctor. I couldn't ask for a better one. I had the privilege of teaching her son this past year so I already knew her but our birth plan got us communicating on a deeper level. She quizzed us on why we want to do the things the way we want and she has pushed us to be educated. I am thankful for that. We get to laugh together and have serious moments when it comes to our son. It helped make our experience with her personal and we value that.

3. It helps Mum (me) feel prepared. You guys know me. I live for a list and a birth plan makes me feel comfortable. I have things written out. I have prayed over it. I have expectations. I have a full heart. A birth plan works for me.

4. It helps maintain some kind of order. Our birth plan just isn't what we want to happen during delivery. It is much more. For example, we are asking that no friends be allowed at the hospital. That may seem harsh but I don't want friends coming to see us as soon as we have a baby. I want to bond with our baby. I don't want friends around during immediate recovery. I want our friends to come to our home where everyone is more comfortable. Everyone meaning our friends, the new parents and baby. Our family are the only people we are letting come to the hospital. This is in our birth plan.

Social media is another thing for us. We want to be the first to post about our new baby. We have this in our plan because we have been bitten by this. We want to post about the baby when we are ready and not when others want to post. I am so excited to share baby boy via social media but we also don't want his whole life documented on there. It is weird to think this new generation of babies will be able to trace their whole life on the internet. And while I love seeing friends babies, I just don't know where I stand on it yet. I probably will be that mom that posts lots of photos every day but until I get there I want to be the one deciding my child's social media presence.

Our birth plan gives guidance to everyone in our family and close friends.

5. It isn't just for the doctor but our nurses too. We plan on posting our birth plan in our room and most facilities already practice this. The doctor comes to deliver the baby which happens at the end so what about all the time in between? We want our nurses to understand our wishes for our delivery. That is important to us. They will be with us the majority of the time. It just makes everyone more comfortable.

6. Our birth is not "normal". To the standards of the American world per say. We are hoping and praying for a natural, vaginal birth. It is just what aligns with my heart and health (Rusty is indifferent). There is no shame in any mother birthing any other way. I just pray mothers are educated. That is my hope. Since we want a non-medicated birth we are in the different crowd even though most our mothers did it this way. I am hesitant to even post this because we have gotten a l-a-r-g-e amount of backlash for wanting a natural childbirth. Regardless a birth plan shows what we will be doing differently. A few things include: using essential oils and being able to eat during labor (not possible with epidural). I also want to be able to move around. I want the option of a hot shower, sitting on the birthing ball or laying in bed and I cannot do that with an epidural. These are just some options we have listed.

I am sure some of you are laughing at the idea of us having a birth plan. She is a first time mother, just wait. I get it. I don't know what having a baby is like but at least we are creating something we feel comfortable with. And these are just some of our biggest concerns. I know that a birth plan is not for everyone and totally respect that. But it is for us and I hope you respect that fact.

How many of you used a birth plan? What are some things you think are important for a birth plan? Share below because I would love to hear from you!

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