July 31, 2014

Things I Have Learned About Pregnancy

Or maybe I should re-title this post "Things I Have Learned or Someone Told Me But I Didn't Believe Until Now." And this post is going to be long because this gal has learned a lot. Good, bad and things we should all work to change.

Being pregnant has been awesome but also so eye opening. Well, let's get to it.

1. In general, everyone you know will be so excited for you. It is fun getting to share your good news. It really is and people you haven't spoken to in years will celebrate with you. Babies bring people together. They mend broken fences. They heal old wounds. They brighten everyone's day. So let people be excited with you.

2. They will immediately start asking questions. What is the babies name? Uh we don't know. What is the theme of the nursery? Uh we don't know. One baby or two? Uh we don't know. Boy or girl? Uh we don't know.

My closest analogy: remember when you first started dating a guy and things began to get serious. The questions were about marriage and the future. When are you getting married? Is he the one? Now you are married so questions become about babies. I kid you not that someone asked me at our wedding reception when we were starting a family. Then you get pregnant, have that baby and I am going to call it but I bet the next questions are when you are going to have another one. Just a guess. :)

Just go with all the questions the best you can. If that doesn't work make a shirt that answers all of them.

3. People l-o-v-e to tell you their pregnancy horror stories. It is so weird to me. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing people's stories but the scary stuff, no way. I felt the ring of fire for hours before the baby ever came. I peed my pants at church one morning because I sneezed so hard. I threw up every day, every meal for the first 12 weeks. Are these stories suppose to support me or encourage me or scare the crap out of me? Because the last one is winning. Brace yourself and if you are brave just politely cut them off. You do not need to fill your head with stories of terror while being pregnant.

4. No two pregnancies are alike so I don't get why we are still treating each pregnancy the same? The biggest thing for me with this point is how fast or slow someone's body changes. I gained 3/4's of my pregnancy weight at the beginning of my pregnancy. And apparently that isn't okay or at least that is how people made me feel. I have been at the same weight for the past four weeks and my baby is still developing fine. My belly has been about the same size for two months and that is okay. While a lot of women gain weight towards the end, mine was at the beginning. I had the dearest of friends try to explain my weight to others by saying things like, "Baby boy Farrin just showed up a little early." or "No, she isn't having two. Just one in there."

We have to start being accepting of how each pregnancy is for each women. Some women get stretch marks, some don't. Some are nauseous constantly, some don't. Some love it the whole time, some don't. So since we are all different let's keep encouraging one another. Never stop being positive and listening and helping.

5. Body parts go missing. There I said it. Now let your mind wander.

6. It is okay to not feel connected to your baby right away or even until the baby is here, in your arms. I remember spending weeks feeling so guilty over this. Don't get me wrong, we wanted this boy but I just didn't feel a connection to him until recently. I have a sweet friend that is due ten days after me and she was immediately rubbing on her belly and talking to her baby and buying him presents and I just watched her wondering why I didn't feel that way. It is okay to not feel that connection even until you are holding the baby or home from the hospital. It means nothing about you as a mommy. It just takes a timeline of your own.

7. No one birth's their baby the same. We are choosing to do a natural, non-medicated birth for our family. It is the option that works best for our family but that doesn't mean the mommy who chooses the epidural is a bad person. I struggled with this. I was hostile to others because anytime I shared we wanted a natural birth 95% of people laughed in my face or told me I cannot do it. It made me bitter for the first months of my pregnancy. I even shut down on the topic all together. I thought no one related to me. Then I found women in my town and church that have had multiple babies non-medicated and rave about it. It started to feel more confident in our birth.

It is all about being educated on what is best for your family. Hands down, educate yourself and go for what works best for you. That is all you can do.

8. You don't have to have everything (object) that others have for their babies. I can remember being in tears multiple times over creating a baby registry. While my mom and best friend talked me down each time, I dreaded creating a registry. What if people don't get us these things we are asking for? Why should they get us stuff? It is expensive! Do we really need that? One of my biggest prayers with being pregnant is that we are content with what we receive. I am learning that I am a person who doesn't want a ton of stuff, just the basics and that is okay. If I don't get a pull down car window cover for my child I am not a bad mom but if I do buy one that is splendid too. An object or stuff doesn't make you the mommy you are. Buy what you want, don't buy what you want. Just take care of that baby and love it. That is what makes you a mommy.

9. It is okay to not want baby stuff all over your house. Don't get me wrong, I do know that toys will be everywhere some days and that clothes with spit up will be on the kitchen counter for a day or two before I realize. I am not naive but I really want to keep baby items and toys limited to a large basket in the living room, a large basket in our bedroom and the babe's room. I am just not one for baby stuff. I have had some people laugh at me for this but trust me in that I mean it and will follow through (most days).

10. Enjoy it, even the bad days. It goes so fast. I really cannot believe we are just a month from full term and 7 weeks until our due date. Even the hardest days are a blessing and I want to never forget that. Soak it in friends.

I posted the question of what other mom's-to-be and already rocking mommies wanted to share on pregnancy and I got such good feedback. I wanted to include all their advice as well. They all had such wonderful and enlightening things to say. And yes Natasha, sneezing becomes a chore.

What do you want others to know about pregnancy? Share below. :)

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