September 27, 2012

Q & A: Can You Help With Shower Etiquette?

It is Thursday. Today is a Katie day. A Katie day includes reading too many blogs (it is something I could do all day long), touching up my pedicure, drinking two cups of coffee, cuddling my pup and not working for one day. I say that but I know better. I think I would be lost without the emails, editing software and my phone ringing.

But before I can enjoy my relaxation I am here to tackle today's Q & A session. One of my dear friends sent me a little email:

Q. A few months ago I was invited to a bridal shower. I went, took a gift and hugged the bride. She knew I was there. I just realized the other day that the wedding has come and gone. The problem is I never got an invitation to the wedding. Is that okay? I just feel like if I was invited to a shower, I should have been invited to the wedding.

A. This is so sad. I do not want to defend this bride but surely something happened to your invitation in the mail. Maybe she sent it by pigeon carrier and the pigeon didn't make it. Regardless, you are right. This is a BIG no no. No bride should ever invite you to a shower with the intention of not inviting you to the wedding. I know showers are not just about gifts but taking a gift and then not inviting those people to celebrate your marriage is just wrong.

Ladies, brides, bridesmaids, make sure you do not let this happen. I know between all the showers, planning, different invitation list of guests, things may get mixed up but be on top of this. It is just....rude. People want to gift you with goodies and words of wisdom at your shower but even more so they want to celebrate your nuptials.

If you are victim of this scenario, I hate to say it but there really is nothing you can do except hope that wedding bloggers can better educate brides. Ha! Wish the bride well and really try to be excited for her. For more on shower questions, check out these posts here, here and here. Happy Thursday loves!


  1. Hmmm, I think you are right Katie, but what about when a bride want's to keep the wedding small, but her church throws a church-wide shower? Should all the shower attendees then receive an invitation? Or just handle it with a church-wide invitation?

    1. Good question! I am still going to stick by my answer. I think a bride that has a small wedding is also (typically) going to have a small shower. I know that if I had a small wedding I would not want the church to throw me a shower. A lot of people who were not invited to our wedding sent gifts to us after the wedding or through the mail. It was so kind and I loved writing them a thank you note but I also didn't ask them to send the gift. There is always an option. I also think it is etiquette to check with a bride before inviting anyone to a shower. :)


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